My kid said what?!?!?

SarieP

My kindergartner had a substitute teacher yesterday at school and apparently told the classroom assistant that since her teacher wasn't there, she didn't have to listen to her.  Apparently my kid thought she was "in charge" yesterday.  I am horrified because I would have never thought she would be that disrespectful.  Of course I didn't find out about this until today, so I have completely missed the disciplinary window.  How can I address this? I'm very angry over this and lately she has become a little too big for her britches.  She really needs to be reminded that she is the CHILD. 

ValAndRyan

Kids being in school, I feel, sometimes changes the rules for the disciplinary window because sometimes you just don't find things out till later. When you address it to her, she'll know exactly what your talking about. I would talk with her to let her know about being disrespectful to teachers and maybe take a toy away or however you might want to go from there.

SarieP

The problem with disciplining her is that taking toys away doesn't make a difference to her because she has SUCH an imagination that she makes her own fun. 

What really grates my nerves is that she and I talked yesterday afternoon about her behavior in school and she told me she had to move her clip (the behavior chart) twice, which she knows is unacceptable. She was able to tell me about one issue and why she had to move it, which I addessed, but she "couldn't remember" why she moved it on the other time.  The only reason I found out about it this morning is because I emailed her teacher to discuss the one that she told me about and her teacher told me about this one. 

Disciplining her used to be so easy and now I feel like there is no way to really "hit her where it hurts" because everything just rolls off of her. I think she is too old to be spanked and in this situation I don't think that would be appropriate anyway.  Time out is useless (although that used to be the punishment of choice with her). Taking away toys doesn't make a difference because she just finds something else to do.  I've made her write repetitive sentences a few times, which she didn't care for, but I wouldn't say it was particularly effective in changing her behavior.

ccm1203

She needs to be reminded to respect authority.  That includes teachers, and substitute teachers, gym, music & art teachers, the principal, bus driver.  I would probably give a warning and let her know that if it happens again she will get in trouble.  

    

sweetie0228

She should write an apology note to both the sub and to her normal teacher.  She should write one to the normal teacher that explains that she should have behaved better b/c her normal teacher expects and deserves that respect even when she isn't in the class room.

 

Surfinbride

sweetie0228:

She should write an apology note to both the sub and to her normal teacher.  She should write one to the normal teacher that explains that she should have behaved better b/c her normal teacher expects and deserves that respect even when she isn't in the class room.

 

I agree with this.

shouldbworkin

DS did this the first time he had a sub at the beginning of the year too.  I just reminded him that the rules applied no matter who was teaching or where he was (he likes to think the rules change if he changes rooms too).  That did the trick. We haven't had a problem with a sub again.

Jmollo28

I would go with consequences. I believe that once a child is at school age, they should know the difference (most of the time) between right and wrong.  The reason she doesn't "remember" why she did that at school is because she doesn't want to admit it because she probably believes it was silly in the first place.  I would take away 1 day of afterschool activity.  Relate the discipline to school since that is where she acted out in the first place.  The best way to let a child know who is boss is to show them with actions and not words.  Less is more in a sense.  If she does anything after school that she really enjoys -- she needs to miss a day and understand why she is being pulled from that activity from that day and if she continues -- you will pull her out again.  good luck!