Have you used your priority yet?

tchubirubi

I'm at almost 21 weeks, which means I look pregnant, but not so obviously pregnant... And I still feel unconfortable in making use of priority in seating or in line/queue. Truth is, I haven't done it yet, but mostly because I really haven't felt the need for it just yet. No huge standing queues, or such.

Anyone using priority yet? Any trouble at it? Someone once told me thatshe got very little simpathy while pregnant... especially from the elderly, who seemed to treat her as competition. At the time, I found that hilarious but, now, I kinda dread fighting an old man/woman for a seat... lol

jessicaclare

I'm not trying to flame you, but I don't get this. Why would you get priority for a seat just because you're pregnant? Especially over an elderly person, and especially at 21 or 22 weeks pregnant? It just doesn't make any sense to me, especially at this stage in pregnancy.

sunshine336

I'm not sure what you mean by priority in lines- I've never heard of that.  I am, however, still hesitant to use the mother-to-be parking spaces since I feel I have no pain when walking right now and am able to park farther away just fine.  

I've never been one to ask for help but there were a few times when I needed help getting my groceries to the car because the parking lot was a compacted-snowy mess that made it impossible to push a cart through.  I felt bad b/c I really didn't need help lifting the bags into my car but the employees insisted on helping with that part too.

 

KatieRL1979

jessicaclare:

I'm not trying to flame you, but I don't get this. Why would you get priority for a seat just because you're pregnant? Especially over an elderly person, and especially at 21 or 22 weeks pregnant? It just doesn't make any sense to me, especially at this stage in pregnancy.

Exactly this.  Sorry, you're just pregnant - there's otherwise nothing wrong with you.  You're not handicapped, certainly not this early on in pregnancy.  When you're at like 35+ weeks and having difficulty moving around then maybe but still - you're not handicapped.

Latesha0911

If you don't need it, I wouldn't fight an old lady down about her taking a priority seat but if you feel tired or uncomfortable you better use it! That's what it's there for, right?

 I rarely have to pull the pregnancy card but please believe if I have to, I will lol

samfish2bcrab

jessicaclare:

I'm not trying to flame you, but I don't get this. Why would you get priority for a seat just because you're pregnant? Especially over an elderly person, and especially at 21 or 22 weeks pregnant? It just doesn't make any sense to me, especially at this stage in pregnancy.

I agree.   Pregnant does not trump elderly. Ever.

Now, if you want to use the designated pregnant/parent with small child parking I have no problem with that.   At 39 weeks pregnant and it felt like the baby's head was sitting between my legs they were a godsend.

Hillargh

Only recently have I ballooned out, have my hips become unbearable to walk on for more than a short distance, my back dying.. So until this all happened, no I didn't use any of the pregnancy priority bits. Now though, that it is actually difficult for me, I park in the expectant mother's spot in a lot when I feel as though I'd have a hard time therwise, and things such as that.

The options are there for those that need them. When you need them, don't feel bad for using them. If you don't need them, don't use them. You may just be making it more difficult for those that do, if you use them when you don't.

And honestly, it would take a lot for me to fight for any kind of spot. Unless I knew I was going to hit the damned floor were I to not get it, I'd let an elder have it before myself. Again, if you need it.

But as I said before, don't feel bad if you do. Unfortunately a lot of people that  use them don't need to, or some people feel as though the person doesn't, so they cause issue.

 Edit: To clarify, were you referring to seating such as on buses? I know they have seating for elderly that allows extra space for canes/walkers, etc. As well as to be used for pregnant women, or women with infants. That's all I could think of, sorry if I misunderstand.

12bailey18

I never used priority anything (seating, parking spaces, etc.) last time. I never felt "bad" or weak, just pregnant. Maybe if I was carrying triplets and on bed rest and had to go somewhere, than maybe. But just being normally pregnant doesn't make me feel like I deserve anything more than other people. This was a really odd question...LOL.

tchubirubi

jessicaclare:

I'm not trying to flame you, but I don't get this. Why would you get priority for a seat just because you're pregnant? Especially over an elderly person, and especially at 21 or 22 weeks pregnant? It just doesn't make any sense to me, especially at this stage in pregnancy.

As I said, I still haven't found the need to do that (I mean, a point of disconfort in which I feel I have to make use of it...). But I keep imagining how I would go about that... if such need should arise. Especially with an older person. Mind you, anyone here in Brazil over 60 is legally an elderly. And my point is, precisely, how guilty I might feel, you know?

I am the kind of person who usually offers her seat or her place in line to anyone looking like they need it more than I do. Maybe that's exactly why it feels so strange to me now being at the other end of the stick... and fearing that some enforcement may be needed. I have lost count of the times I gave up my regular seat for someone with priority rights, or a kid or something when someone else sitting in a priority seat just pretended not to know what was going on...

And, finally, I do have 12 degrees of scoliosis. So standing - or even sitting sometimes - for too long a time can get pretty unconfortable. Even when not knocked up.

Desert*Flower

I have used the expectant mother parking, but more because it is SO cold here and I want to get my 1 and 3 year olds strapped into the stroller and into the store asap. Otherwise, I park in a normal space. I figure the exercise is good for me. Plus, I always think there's probably someone who needs it more than I do.

Hillargh

tchubirubi:

jessicaclare:

I'm not trying to flame you, but I don't get this. Why would you get priority for a seat just because you're pregnant? Especially over an elderly person, and especially at 21 or 22 weeks pregnant? It just doesn't make any sense to me, especially at this stage in pregnancy.

As I said, I still haven't found the need to do that (I mean, a point of disconfort in which I feel I have to make use of it...). But I keep imagining how I would go about that... if such need should arise. Especially with an older person. Mind you, anyone here in Brazil over 60 is legally an elderly. And my point is, precisely, how guilty I might feel, you know?

I am the kind of person who usually offers her seat or her place in line to anyone looking like they need it more than I do. Maybe that's exactly why it feels so strange to me now being at the other end of the stick... and fearing that some enforcement may be needed. I have lost count of the times I gave up my regular seat for someone with priority rights, or a kid or something when someone else sitting in a priority seat just pretended not to know what was going on...

And, finally, I do have 12 degrees of scoliosis. So standing - or even sitting sometimes - for too long a time can get pretty unconfortable. Even when not knocked up.

Really, things like that tend to be a situation of etiquette.  If someone were to offer the seat to you, and you felt like you needed it, then by all means take it!

However, I wouldn't fight someone if they didn't. Now, knowing you have scoliosis issues, if it was a really rough time for you, and you genuinely felt the need to ask for someone's seat, I would do so politely. I would explain that I was pregnant, and had scoliosis and the standing was very trying. If they gave up their seating, then wonderful! How lovely they are! If not, I would brush it off and try to hang in there.

Most people are very polite when it comes to things like that, more so than we'd all like to think, so I would hope it wouldn't be too much of an issue. Best of luck, though :]

ashes1010

I completely agree with all of this. I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant with twins. I'm moving around just fine so there's no need to take a seat from an elderly or disabled person. I'm noticeably pregnant because I'm measuring about 29-30 weeks, so I've had a few people offer to let me use a bathroom ahead of them. Unless I was desperate, I don't feel right taking advantage. 

tchubirubi

Hillargh:

Only recently have I ballooned out, have my hips become unbearable to walk on for more than a short distance, my back dying.. So until this all happened, no I didn't use any of the pregnancy priority bits. Now though, that it is actually difficult for me, I park in the expectant mother's spot in a lot when I feel as though I'd have a hard time therwise, and things such as that.

The options are there for those that need them. When you need them, don't feel bad for using them. If you don't need them, don't use them. You may just be making it more difficult for those that do, if you use them when you don't.

And honestly, it would take a lot for me to fight for any kind of spot. Unless I knew I was going to hit the damned floor were I to not get it, I'd let an elder have it before myself. Again, if you need it.

But as I said before, don't feel bad if you do. Unfortunately a lot of people that  use them don't need to, or some people feel as though the person doesn't, so they cause issue.

 Edit: To clarify, were you referring to seating such as on buses? I know they have seating for elderly that allows extra space for canes/walkers, etc. As well as to be used for pregnant women, or women with infants. That's all I could think of, sorry if I misunderstand.

Yup. Buses, underground/subway, banks (and any place where there might be a long wait), and anything else in which priority applies. Here in Brazil, we have special cashiers at supermarkets, special parking spaces, and in almost anything where lines/queues tend to form there's an implicit understanding that anyone who's elderly, handicapped, pregnant or with small children should go first. That includes, for instance, public restroom lines. And I agree with you. Totally. Which is why I still haven't brought myself to use any of those...

kacelle

I've had a young girl tell me to go ahead of her in line in the bathroom when she saw my belly.  I thought she was really sweet and selfless for a child, so I thanked her and went ahead.  The only other time I've "used my priority" was when there were absolutely no parking spaces at the mall except the expectant mother spot.  I parked there to run in for about five minutes to pick up food I was craving from the grill in the food court.

IU_baby

I park in the Expectant Mother's spot at BRU, but that's it.  IMO, an elderly person needs a seat more than I do. 

MommaA117

Not sure what this is other than the front parking space at the grocery store. I am on bed rest due to IC so I don't really go anywhere. We did use the free Valet at the specialist the other day so I wouldn't have to walk from the parking garage. If at some point, probably after 32ish weeks I somehow get on a more moderate bedrest and am able to have my DH take me by the grocery store I will probably use the pregnancy spot but thats it.

eaduvall

i am only 21 wks so most people have not offered to let me in front of them. it's hard to tell with my coast on. however, i AM handicapped and this does affect my ability to walk, stand, or sit for long periods of time. Since I am young (26 & 1/2) i try not to use my handicapped parking  unless I am feeling really, really, bad. i guess i feel guilty sometimes, even though i DO need it. I actually had someone try to cus me out for parking in the handicapped at the mall. I made sure that he saw my sticker and told him to F' off.

will i get up for an elderly person? maybe it depends on how i feel. will i feel bad if i don't? NOPE. will i ask someone to go ahead of them or have their seat? no way!

SFBayMrs

I've never heard of the term "priority" used this way, but I get what you're saying. Around here, we casually refer to it as "playing the pregnancy card" and yes I have used it once. I bought a huge 30+ lb bag of dog food at the pet store, and the young man behind the counter offered to take it to my car for me. I didn't argue. Particularly because I've been having back issues.

Other than that, no.  We don't have expectant mother parking in the Bay Area. To be honest, I didn't even know they existed (outside of a BRU) until I went to the east coast one time and saw them at a grocery store. 

Edited for baby brain type-o.

dairygirl19

I'll admit to using expectant mother parking at the grocery store. Lazy yes, but earlier on I was really exhausted and sick. It did make life easier. I don't on days I feel good though. Also, my grocery store has like 10 of these spots that are never full, so I don't feel bad.

I've never had a need or reason to use anything else though and don't plan on it.

 

mrsjones06

tchubirubi:

Hillargh:

Only recently have I ballooned out, have my hips become unbearable to walk on for more than a short distance, my back dying.. So until this all happened, no I didn't use any of the pregnancy priority bits. Now though, that it is actually difficult for me, I park in the expectant mother's spot in a lot when I feel as though I'd have a hard time therwise, and things such as that.

The options are there for those that need them. When you need them, don't feel bad for using them. If you don't need them, don't use them. You may just be making it more difficult for those that do, if you use them when you don't.

And honestly, it would take a lot for me to fight for any kind of spot. Unless I knew I was going to hit the damned floor were I to not get it, I'd let an elder have it before myself. Again, if you need it.

But as I said before, don't feel bad if you do. Unfortunately a lot of people that  use them don't need to, or some people feel as though the person doesn't, so they cause issue.

 Edit: To clarify, were you referring to seating such as on buses? I know they have seating for elderly that allows extra space for canes/walkers, etc. As well as to be used for pregnant women, or women with infants. That's all I could think of, sorry if I misunderstand.

Yup. Buses, underground/subway, banks (and any place where there might be a long wait), and anything else in which priority applies. Here in Brazil, we have special cashiers at supermarkets, special parking spaces, and in almost anything where lines/queues tend to form there's an implicit understanding that anyone who's elderly, handicapped, pregnant or with small children should go first. That includes, for instance, public restroom lines. And I agree with you. Totally. Which is why I still haven't brought myself to use any of those...

That's awesome! We don't have anything like that around here. They even took down the expectant mom parking at BRU.

abergale

When pg I never used even the mom to be spots at the grocery store because I didn't have problems walking. I did use them once when I was first able to drive and took DD to the store. I still wasn't walking the best and sore so I took advantage. Other than that no special treatment and didn't really look for any. 

tchubirubi

mrsjones06:

tchubirubi:

Hillargh:

Only recently have I ballooned out, have my hips become unbearable to walk on for more than a short distance, my back dying.. So until this all happened, no I didn't use any of the pregnancy priority bits. Now though, that it is actually difficult for me, I park in the expectant mother's spot in a lot when I feel as though I'd have a hard time therwise, and things such as that.

The options are there for those that need them. When you need them, don't feel bad for using them. If you don't need them, don't use them. You may just be making it more difficult for those that do, if you use them when you don't.

And honestly, it would take a lot for me to fight for any kind of spot. Unless I knew I was going to hit the damned floor were I to not get it, I'd let an elder have it before myself. Again, if you need it.

But as I said before, don't feel bad if you do. Unfortunately a lot of people that  use them don't need to, or some people feel as though the person doesn't, so they cause issue.

 Edit: To clarify, were you referring to seating such as on buses? I know they have seating for elderly that allows extra space for canes/walkers, etc. As well as to be used for pregnant women, or women with infants. That's all I could think of, sorry if I misunderstand.

Yup. Buses, underground/subway, banks (and any place where there might be a long wait), and anything else in which priority applies. Here in Brazil, we have special cashiers at supermarkets, special parking spaces, and in almost anything where lines/queues tend to form there's an implicit understanding that anyone who's elderly, handicapped, pregnant or with small children should go first. That includes, for instance, public restroom lines. And I agree with you. Totally. Which is why I still haven't brought myself to use any of those...

That's awesome! We don't have anything like that around here. They even took down the expectant mom parking at BRU.

Yeah, I guess it's kinda awesome but it is also kinda lame... because, if you need that many rules, that means that, without them, people just don't care to do what is right, or nice. And what is worse - they find all sorts of loopholes. Corruptissima republica, plurima legis.

Once, in the underground/subway, I saw an argument between an elderly lady (which legally means over 60 here in Brazil - sixty) and a blind man. He was in a priority seat. She made him stand up because, although he was blind, there was nothing wrong with his legs. She didn't look like she had nothing wrong with her legs either, but that's beside the point. I mean, WTF? Who trumps whom? I don't think that she was wrong, but, I mean, the man was blind! You know? That's like saying a person in a wheelchair doesn't get priority in line because the get to wait sitting down.

I have also seen (more than once) heated arguments in bank lines because many law firms and such were hiring retired elderly/handicapped people because they got priority in line and that way they could pay the jurisdiction costs faster than the regular office boys. Problem was, when they turned up, they always had a ton of bills to pay (of course, they were the bills of an entire firm, not just their own) and the lines stopped dead. And now the banks pay a fine when the waiting time in line exceeds 15 minutes (hahaha) unless there were seats. So they put seats (regular and priority) in place. And said that, because the elderly were seated, they didn't have to be seen first. Like they used up the priority on the seats. Good solution? No. Just imagine that elderly man or woman who is actually there to take care of his own private business and ends up spending hours at the bank!

It is so sad it is hilarious... don't get me wrong, I love my country but it is oh, so far from perfect.

I realise now that my post was a real clash of cultures. And I really shouldn't have brought up my bloody scoliosis, because what I really wanted was to measure the weight of pregnancy (pure, simple, pregnancy, not only my particular case) in the order of priority and how it developed. IMO, it depends on the individual situations of the individuals involved. If I feel the need to pull the pregnant card (new vocabulary learned right here, thank you ladies) I certainly will.

Anyway, thank you all for your opinions. And even the occasional judgement.

All the best!

Yellow_Daisy

It would take an awful lot for me to use any kind of priority.  I have been using the expectant mother parking, but that is because I have rheumatoid arthritis and my hip joints have been particularly painful as of late.  My doc wants me to limit my walking as well due to my RA so I don't feel bad about using the spots.  If I was feeling fine I wouldn't use the spots and regardless of how I felt, unless my legs gave out, I would never ask an elderly person to give up something for me. 

JuneBug0611

I wouldn't ever ask a person who was seated in priority seating on the bus or the subway to give it up for me, but if a seat is free I will certainly take it.  I've been sick this entire pregnancy and standing for long periods of time is uncomfortable, so I don't feel bad taking a seat that was intended for me.  (In Boston the MBTA rules are that priority seating is for the elderly, pregnant women, and those with disabilities.)  

Now, the trouble would be if I were sitting in a priority seat and then someone else got on who would also be eligible for priority seating.... that's when I would get uncomfortable sitting there, because in ordinary times I would *always* give a seat up for them, priority seating or otherwise.  I guess if I'm really feeling rotten that day, I'd stay seated and let one of the other people on the bus/train offer their seat (hopefully!), but if I feel like I can stand, I'd still give my seat up for someone older. 

darmca

I went in for an ultrasound at the hospital and was running late- their were no parking spots left in the main lot but were 5 spots (all empty) reserved for maternity patients- so I took one of those. Other than that, it hasn't come up.

1momma

I use it at the commisary, when its open if Im having a really bad hip/back day.