second thoughts?

fiasco

I'm sure it's normal to think this way once in a while, but now that the baby will actually BE HERE soon, I can't for the life of me remember why I thought this was a good idea.  Obviously, I worry about the labor, being able to provide and be responsible for this little being, but my biggest concern right now are all the sacrifices I have to make.  I am worried about having to share our limited space, money, time, love, (it is exhaustable I think.)  Basically, I'm being selfish and I don't care!  DH seems to empathize but doesn't really get why I am crying about this, but he gets to go back to work and doesn't have to defer his student loans, etc.  I'm sure it's triggered by anxiety & hormones and I'll feel different once baby is here, but can anyone relate?  Anyone?

katie110505

I wouldn't say I am having second thoughts (we really planned for this pregnancy and it took us almost a year to get pregnant).

However, I do have doubts sometimes. I think it is all the hormones. I worry that I won't be a good mom. That we won't be able to do this. That there won't be enough money to support a child. I even worry that I won't be able to push the baby out.

I think it is normal to go through these emotions. Having a baby is a huge life change!

scooter19

Definitly.  Not so much "Second thoughts" just scared about how much things will change.  And of course, I'm scared I won't be a good mom.  I'm scared about labor and all.  I'm scared I won't have those "maternal" instincts.  But I'm hoping all these emotions go away after the baby is here.

margarita1365

I think it's probably normal to feel that way.  I'm sure I'll have freakout moments when I get closer to my due date.  Right now, I'm thinking "if I had known then what I know now..." but for me that is because I just found out last week that I might get laid off.

Miss23J

Yes, I feel the same way. I keep asking my DH why did I want to do this again?  I did not think this out! I am really just scared of the pain and labor.  The thought of it scares me to death.  I know though once he is here it will be worth it....so everyone keeps telling me anyways!

~CoCo~

This is why I love this board. I was *just* sitting here thinking, "What are we doing? WHY did I think we should/could do this?" DH and I tried to get pregnant for one year, so it's not that this was a surprise, and we obviously wanted to have a baby, and cannot wait for our little one to arrive.

You're right though- it may be hormones, or just a recognition that things are about to change in ways we cannot fathom, but yes, I am suddenly newly terrified about what we're about to do. Maybe it's a realization that the ability to be selfish is GONE (not that it hasn't been for 8+months...).

I wonder if I will be OK with what all this will do to my body, my head, my marriage, my dog, my schedule, career, sleep, and so forth. We thought these things through before-hand, and clearly decided it's all worth it-- AND I KNOW IT WILL BE-- but yeah, there's a bit of panic NOW....

Deep breaths- we wanted and want this, it's just going to be a HUGE change!

patchessi

Oh I definately have been having second thoughts lately. Even though this baby was planned and worked very hard for, I'm freaking out! What did I do? I think I changed my mind! It's too late now! Crap! How am I gonna be a good mom, put up with no sleep and sick kids? Baby puke gross! Am I even gonna have to shower once and a while? Sex appeal what's that? Oh the crap I didn't think through......

orgnlmama

Even though we weren't yet trying, I wanted this baby so badly.  DH and I expected to have a lot of trouble conceiving based on my gynecological history so we were in a one-year prep to get ready to start trying, when oops!  The best surprise ever!

 That being said, there are nights I wake up and think, "I can't be pregnant." or "Its not time to have a baby."  Well, I guess I better get with the program since I only have like 3 weeks! (God willing!)

summerlovin1980

Yup I have the exact same thoughts, and I would call them second thoughts. I wonder to myself what the h*ll were we thinking! We're not ready to give up a lot of stuff in our lives!

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Sam78

I like to think about it this way - if I didn't care, I wouldn't worry and wouldn't obsess about it. We're all making a major life change in the next couple of months so I think its normal to question things even why we thought it would be a good idea .  Every decision has pros and cons, so try to focus on some of the positives, i.e. what you're gaining, when you start thinking about what you're giving up.  Sometimes easier said than done, but hey, good to start somewhere!

rynalicia

I think it's extremely normal, especially when you are nearing the end.  And the hormones could definitely have something to do with it.  It doesn't mean you don't want your child or love your child...sometimes these are realistic concerns.  For instance I constantly worry about the economy and our money situation and how we are bringing a child into the world when we can barely afford him   But you just need to know you'll make it through and it will be great!

laneysmom

I think it is normal too, afterall, you are your own person, your body, your career, your feelings, your routine etc. It is overwhelming and scary to think that all of the focus that has been on your own life will shift. Im scared and sick of being pregnant and find myself complaing more than my fair share... Dh is fond of saying, well you wanted this, remember? He is right we did want to get pregnant- although it happened in like the 1st week I was off of B/C, but it is totally different in theory vs. in reality.

Hang in there, it is totally natural to feel this way, and I think it means that you are taking the change and responsibility seriously!

Megan Briggs

I'm with you.  And DH doesn't seem to have any of the same fears, which makes me feel guilty.

I worry terribly about the baby's health and safety and I don't want to be that kind of mom.  And I worry about my freedom, even though DH swears he will be an equal partner. 

Frankly, it's too late to look back now.  All of my friends tell me that having a baby in  your life is the hardest, yet most rewarding work they've ever done.  I try to keep that in mind during the middle of the night freak out sessions.

SoMdGirl83

I am having them sometimes. I wonder if we are really ready. Them I remember we are and it gets better. I stress over everything for a day or two then it all gets better.

jillybean222

Having been through this once before, I can't really relate this time but I rememebr feeling a little anxious towards the end (am I going to be a good mom?  how am i going to do this?  is our marriage going to be the same? etc.)  Well, 17 months later, we're doing it all over again.  Being a parent is a wonderful blessing and I wouldn't change it for the world.  Hopefully you'll feel the same soon enough.  Good luck!