Please help! Re: 3.5 year old refusing to poop in potty!

little-peanut

We have been potty trainning since August of last year and he quickly learned to pee in the potty and has been almost 100% trained since September  He knows how to go to the bathroom by himself and all.  Poop, on the other hand iis a whole different story.  He won't go on the toilet.  Ever!  I have tried bribery, singing and reading while sitting on the toilet to make it fun, a rewards chart, reading potty books, just putting him in underwear, you name it, we've done it!  He won't go. 

He usually goes in another room, or wherever I can't see him and poops in his pullup or underwear.  I have tried numerous times to catch him in the act and put him on the toilet, but he holds the poop in and cries that it hurts.  I feel like we spend so much time in the bathroom trying to teach him how to push it out, but as soon as I let him off the potty, he immediately goes in his pullup/underwear.  We are in this vicious cycle of him holding it in, it getting big and hard, then he can't go.  I feel like every other day I am giving him straight juice and applesauce to make him go.  I am at my witts end and my big fear is that he won't be able to start preschool if he isn't potty trained.

I don't know if this is some kind of medical problem or if its just a fear he has of the toilet. He can't seem to verbalize why he won't go on the toilet.   He was pretty regular up until the time we started potty training.  Will my kid still be in pullups in college?

KYmama9286

As a parent I have no suggestions on this obviously but based on your DS's age and your concerns with his behavior it makes me think of encopresis. I learned about this in many of my therapeutic child development classes. This may not be the case as it is usually brought up once a child is 4+ but Griffin is 3.5 and some of the behaviors made me think about it. Here is an informative link with some ideas/things to look out for/things you could talk to his pedi about if it doesnt seem to get any better in the next few months. HTH and I am sure something will click for Griffin soon and it will all work out! GL!

Encopresis in Children: Treatment and Diagnosis

curlypie1

We have a distant relative who's daughter refused to go #2 on the potty until she was around 6 years old. Apparently, she had a medical condition where she wouldn't go for days, even up to a week. It was so painful she wouldn't sit on the potty. They would put a pull up on her just so she could go.

It wouldn't hurt to bring it up with the pedi to see if there is something they could recommend.

adamsbabble

I have no suggestions, but we are sort of in the same boat.  Ava has been PT forever, but she simply refuses to poop on the potty.  The only difference between Ava and Griffin is that she doesn't have accidents in her underwear.  She can and will hold it.  Since she still needs Pull Ups for bed, she waits until then to go.  She has always hated going #2 and often gets constipated and it's obviously painful for her when she does (this was even long before she was PT).  I don't know if this has anything to do with her refusal to go on the potty, but since she's not having accidents and will willingly go in her Pull Up, I think it's more about not wanting to do it on the toilet for some reason.  Since Griffin is going in his underwear, the article Lauren posted might be something to look into and discuss with your pedi.  It sounds like something that could be an issue for him, rather than just a refusal to do it.  Sorry, I don't have any advice, but you are not alone in this.  I've heard that it's pretty common.  If it's not a medical issue, I think we'll just have to tackle staying dry at night first, so that we can be Pull Up free and take them away so she'll have to start going on the potty.  

Meg41208

Obviously DD is younger than your LO, but she holds #2 a lot of the time and we have had her on a prescription stool softener for the past month.  It's a vicious cycle - they don't go because it hurts, and then it hurts to go.  

We have put off PTing because although she's showing signs of readiness at least for #1, I don't want to make matters worse.  It's frustrating, because by holding it in, she has shown me that she has awareness and control over her bowels, but won't go...

I think it definitely merits a trip to the pediatrician - they might prescribe a stool softener to make it less painful to go.   

l_kristina

i could be wrong...but honestly i wouldn't worry yet.  it is RARE if dd goes poop on the potty and she turned 3 in january.  we expressed our concerns to the pedi at her annual and she didn't even bat an eye at it.  dd knows exactly what to do, but when it is time to poop she usually runs upstairs, changes into a  pull up and poops in it.  very frustrating, but the pedi assured us there was nothing to worry about.  she has pooped on the potty before, so i know she can do it, i guess it will just take more time.  hang in there!

AgathiP04

Niko was 3.5 when poop finally clicked for him on the potty.  In fact, he was a little older than 3.5.  I would talk to your pedi about constipation and holding it and find a laxative that works.  Niko takes Miralax and it forced him to be regular (not diahrrea, just regular and soft), so that he couldn't hold it.  Anyway, I will say that around Grif's age, Niko still went in his pull up, did the same behavior as Griffen.  Becoming regular, and something just clicking was our solution.  Good luck!

 

 

Megs&Nick

My nephew (one of the triplets) has a similar problem and is about G's age.  He will only poop in the (regular adult, not kiddie) potty at home.  He has been very vocal about his aversion to other potties (IL's house, school, etc) and will openly poop in his underwear when outside of his house.  At home he has no problem.  SIL is terribly frustrated but not overly concerned at this point.  He's a stubborn child and has always done things when he wanted to do them and not a second before.

I don't think it can hurt to ask your pedi, but it may just take a little more time.

robnnoel

We just had DS 3 year appt about 2 weeks ago and I spoke to the pedi because we are having the same issues.  He refuses to go on the toilet #2 and the pedi didnt think it was a big deal.  She said to keep trying and dont give up, he will do it in his own time.  She actually talked to DS while we were there and the conversation went something like this:

Pedi: You are a big boy now right, so you need to start letting your poop go into the toilet, are you going to start pooping on the potty?

DS: Nope

Pedi: Well big people's poop goes in the potty, so Ian's poop belongs in the potty too.

DS: No I dont poop on the potty, my poop goes in my pull-up.

So you can imagine the frustration I felt we he said that...rrrrr

skram2b

DD went through something similar. She would either hold it for days or go in her underwear. Her pedi suggested we try Miralax until she got the hang of it. I researched the problem a little and found a great tip for us. When I knew she had to go, I would sit her on the potty and let her blow bubbles (i guess it is difficult to blow bubbles & hold it at the same time). It was pretty messy, but so worth it! It did not take her long after that to get it.