divorced folks....

NewNameSameGame

so my SIL and BIL are recently divorced and while I'm not taking ANYONES side (they divorced for stupid stuff) I'm annoyed with both of them right now, but staying out of it....but explain to me.....and again, I am staying out, but curious.  How hard is it to seperate the credit card bills when you divorce??

Money was probably 75% of the reason they divorced, she'd buy stupid stuff so he'd buy stupid stuff to retaliate and they were in HUGE debt when they divorced, and for whatever reason they didn't seperate the credit card bills.  They are both supposed to pay a certain amount per the decree.  SIL is annoyed that BIL isn't paying.  And BIL is annoyed that SIL is living at home with her parents, aka no rent or bills of any sort, has a ton of extra money and isn't using it towards the CC bills.  I think this could all be avoided and the extra tensions and talking nasty to my DH (its his brother) about the ex (who I still hang out with and she talks nasty about BIL to me! gah!) if they had just seperated the card debt and moved on...but since they both can go in and see who has paid what, they are irrationally annoyed.

I don't blame SIL for not dropping her extra money into the CC debt "just because she has it"....she's saving for moving out or whatever and its not in the "decree" for her to pay so much extra, so why should she.  But I think its just stupid of both of them not to seperate the stuff and stay out of each others money business.

this divorce that was supposed to make everything SOOOOOO much better for them has actually made things a TON worse.  They are both being immature brats and the fighting is starting to affect the kids.  booooo. 

Jodi&Joe

Credit card companies don't care about decrees - FYI. 

And even though it's in the decree, it's kind of like having court ordered child support.  When it doesn't get paid, it takes a LOOOONNNGGGG time to legally rectify that.

What a crappy situation!  Sounds like what they were trying to avoid by getting divorced only got worse once they did get divorced. 

joseysbride

I know nothing about this, but wouldn't it be in the best interest of both of them to split it up somehow and have each of them have their own payments to make, totally separate from each other?  I know if I were divorced, I wouldn't want to have to suffer the consequences if my ex didn't pay their part of the debt on time or at all, and as long as both of their names are on the bills, they are both responsible.

NewNameSameGame

joseysbride:

I know nothing about this, but wouldn't it be in the best interest of both of them to split it up somehow and have each of them have their own payments to make, totally separate from each other?  I know if I were divorced, I wouldn't want to have to suffer the consequences if my ex didn't pay their part of the debt on time or at all, and as long as both of their names are on the bills, they are both responsible.

This is exactly what I was thinking!!!!!

I know there MUST be a way....they aren't the first people to divorce with credit card debt!!!! I just can't figure out why they didn't do.  So I don't have any sympathy for either one of them when they are complaining about it!!!

(but I'm staying out.  I just smile and say 'oh" when they are complaining about each other.)

Jodi&Joe

That was my point by "credit card companies don't care about decrees."

If you have accrued the debt, you cannot take your name off of it until it is paid off.  So they would have to open new accounts, in their own names, and transfer the $$ of the cards on to new ones.  And I'm guessing, if there is that much debt, they won't qualify for said new card in just their own name.

Other than that, they are both still responsible for the accrued debt and both need to have access to the accounts to pay them.

For example, Joe's ex did not pay on one of the cards that was her responsibility.  It was $11k.  The credit card company started calling us regarding it, even though in the decree, it said it was her responsibility. They don't care.  His name is still on it and he is still responsible for it (and it still negatively impacted his credit reporting). SOOOO frustrating.  Thank God all that is over with now.    (And no, they won't take his name off of it even though the decree says it's her responsibility.)