depression and pregnancy

mikegirl07

I didnt know where to post, so i came to this board... I have been feeling really down and anxious about things. I am 31 weeks.  It came on all of the sudden and i dont know why.  I kinda feel guilty i am having the feelings i am.  i was very excited and still am about the upcoming birth of my son.  But for some reason i am dreading things, scared, down about things.  All of the sudden i cant stop dwelling on the fact that I am going to have this precious gift from God and i will have to take care of him. I am scared i am going to do something wrong, scared ill be a bad mom.  All these thoughts are getting me down. I havent talked to my doctor about them yet.  She knows i am an anxious person already ( my anxiety stems from my miscarriage i had last year).  My question is has anyone gone through this? and if so can medication be prescribed to help combat the feelings i am having? i broke down to my husband last night about them because i just feel lost and guilty.  Thanks!

Pennilyn Novus

Don't feel guilty at all.  There are plenty of women out there who feel like you do, but they don't speak up because everyone is expecting a pregnant woman to be blissfully happy, glowing, and excited. This is more common than you would imagine.

A lot of what you're describing sounds pretty normal for pregnancy - scared of being a bad mom or screwing up - which just means you're going to be a great mom because you care enough to worry about that.  But if your fears are getting you that down, I would talk to your OB about it asap. 

I don't know if your OB would okay you being prescribed a drug this late into your pregnancy, but you never know until you ask.  I'm on zoloft and have been since the beginning of 2nd tri.  There's also a lot of therapeutic techniques available which helped me greatly, so if your OB is uncomfortable prescribing you something, ask if she can recommend a therapist for you to talk to.  

GL, Mikegirl. 

cookierlr1

I think you sound pretty normal. There have been many times I cried (ok sobbed uncontrollably) because "I dont want a baby" " I'm not ready" "My life is over"...I think we all get those anxieties though deep down we know how amazing and precious this gift is. Do you have any close mommy friends? I've found mine incredibly helpful and supportive, sometimes I don't think I could do this without them. My husband has been great too, I know he is feeling a lot of the same things I am (without the horomones to exaserbate (sp?) things), talk to him if you are comfortable and be thankful he is there to go through this experience with you. When all else fails call the dr. sometimes you just need an objective ear (or meds) to make things better. Just don't hold it in or feel bad about what you are feeling.

pug86

Yes! Totally normal!  I'm on my 3rd child and still have those anxious feelings.

But as I commented on another mommy's question... with a miscarriage in the past, I would make sure that you've had some help in processing those thoughts.  A lot of hospitals have groups that assist with loss.  I can't imagine that pain and it gives a decent reason to have anxiety.     But every pregnancy is different, just like every child, every mom.

I agree with the above commenter on talking with some friends.  This is a normal feelling, but its an emotion that needs lots of good support from people that will love and pray for you.    I know I have enjoyed my local MOPS group for this very reason (mothers of preschoolers - btw its for moms of prek-ers and UNDER, so pregnancy counts!).