Beyond Frustrated.. need to vent

ertopp

I can't even call the man my fiance right now because I am so mad at him.  I have mentioned before that he works 24hour shifts (2 a week) but then every 3rd week he gets 6days off in a row. Naturally his sleeping schedule is all messed up because he is up for 24hours straight when he works. So during the weeks that he works every other day I do not mind if he comes home and sleeps til maybe 3pm (everyone NEEDS sleep) but we made a deal that during his week off he will make more of an effort to be with me and DD.

Everything was all fine and dandy until this past week. He worked Thursday, his mom was here all day Friday, he worked Saturday, Sunday he slept all day then he was at his moms watching the Superbowl, and Monday he worked. Yesterday he slept ALL day. I mean, from 9am-5pm.  Woke up just in time for dinner, played with DD for an hour then stayed up half the night watching TV.  He promised his mom he would take her at noon today so she could do her taxes. Well, here it is 1:30pm and he isn't even up yet! His mom has called 2 times and both times she was like "Oh, it's ok, I know he is tired.  Just let him sleep"  That just makes me even more mad!  I have tried waking him 3 times and he will not get up!

My mom would be so mad if I promised to do something and then SLEPT! He goes back to work tomorrow then he is off all next week so he better get his a$$ in gear!  I normally would just yell at him and make him get up but it's honestly not a battle I want today.  I am tired, cold, and Kylie hasn't taken a nap since 9am

 

/vent.

thanks!

emily0829

It is really, really hard on your body when you're missing that much sleep, and then your body is trying to catch up afterward. It's not like he's sitting on the couch with a 6 pack and his hands down his pants and refusing to help. [except for watching TV after only spending an hour with DD]

I can understand how frustrating it is. I'm assuming you've had a talk before, so I won't suggest trying to communicate this

Hopefully all of next week he will be present.

ertopp

emily0829:

It is really, really hard on your body when you're missing that much sleep, and then your body is trying to catch up afterward. It's not like he's sitting on the couch with a 6 pack and his hands down his pants and refusing to help. [except for watching TV after only spending an hour with DD]

I can understand how frustrating it is. I'm assuming you've had a talk before, so I won't suggest trying to communicate this

Hopefully all of next week he will be present.

ertopp

yes, we have had the convo before because he used to sleep the whole week he was off so we would never see him.

and normally i just dont care because DD and I go out and do our own thing. but its only like 9 degrees here and its been a snowy week so we have been cramped in the house. DD was sick for 2 days and has been cranky. ughhhh so I guess I just need some "ME" time. ya know?

funcop

ertopp:

He goes back to work tomorrow then he is off all next week so he better get his a$$ in gear!  I normally would just yell at him and make him get up but it's honestly not a battle I want today. 

My DH would totally get on the defensive and shut down if I ordered him around and yelled at him about how he doesn't help.  Perhaps frame it when he gets up and is going like ' I know you work hard and are exhausted, but I really need your help with XYZ' - and spell out what you need help WITH.  Sometimes they need a little direction.  Also, maybe you could suggest things for him to do when you and DD are asleep at night that you need help with around the house (that is quiet).  Also plan a list of things you both can accomplish when he is off for the 6 days.  As for his mom, just mention she called 3x - I am sure he will feel guilty for that without you telling him.

Put a sweater on, put DD in bed with DH for a nap and go do something for yourself.

simplejude

dup

simplejude

Working shifts like that is really difficult. I can see how it would be hard on you too, but I honestly think you are overreacting. He worked all day Monday (24 hours Im assuming), and then slept from 9-5 yesterday (which is only 8 hours, most people need 8 hours), and then stayed up last night. I can't imagine after sleeping until 5pm last night that it would be easy to fall back asleep at a decent hour so he could get up in time this morning. It is hard to get your system switched all around like that.

Just talk to him, with out being so angry, and see if he will work on it.

turtlerun

I know that has to be frustrating for you.  On the other hand I know how exhausting working nights and trying to transition to days can be.  It sounds like this might not be the norm for him so could it be that he is fighting getting sick and the extra sleep is just what he needs?

ertopp

yea i know i can be a little dramatic about it and I am honestly not hard on him. yesterday i was because we really needed to go to the bank to put money in. I asked him to get up and watch DD but he wouldn't. So today I just was drained and irritated.

But I got him up now and he is happy. He does help me when he is off for the week. I normally have a list of "manly" things that need done while he is off.  DD has just been so difficult and she won't just lay in bed with him so I got a little carried away.

Now I am just upset that he called his mom, and lied to her saying he was up "all night throwing up" so he cant take her today. I said, "really, you have to be that dramatic" lol.

 

well, off to take a shower while he plays with DD. I am a happy camper now!