Hmmmmm....am I reading between the lines? Re: Conferences

DandR

Ok, I had parent teacher conferences for my girls.

Tay---exactly what I expected.  She's doing great, she's a good friend to all, she just gets a little quick with rushing her work and its either sloppy or she makes silly mistakes.  Its her and 4 other kids who are kinda competitive and they race.  (We see her rushing at home, with reading, writing, everything....its a battle to slow her down!  Any suggestions on this are appreciated!!!)

Audrey---Ok, here's my tough cookie, one I'm semi-concerned about!!!! Academically--she's a star. She's been invited into the HAL (higher ability learner) program.  Maturity---right on par with everyone (even though she's the youngest, with several kids a whole year older than her) Socially---hmmmm, this is where I'm concerned.  At the last conference the teacher was SOOO excited to have 2 amazing readers, she paired them together often.  This time she said "well, I sorta rethought this pairing because when those to get together they are TOO serious.  They get together, they get down to business, and I just want them to sometimes let their hair down and let loose sometimes!"  I 1000% agree with this because, for the love of PETE its Kindergarten!  On the other hand, this is Audrey and getting serious about school IS fun for her!  She's such a nerd!!!!  So she paired Audrey with a student who is bright, but also has a LOT of personality.  She also moved Audrey during group time to sit right in front of her because "Audrey never raises her hand or volunteers answers, and I know she gets it, but I want her to participate, but she's too quiet!"  Another thing I have a hard time believing!!!!

But now I'm semi-freaking out....omg.  Is she THAT kid who is going to be teased and not have friends and acts odd socially because she doesn't know how to let her hair down??  I've NEVER seen her like that, she plays great with her sister and brother and all her cousins.  We've had playdates or whatever before and she's fine.

Is it JUST at school?  Is that possible?  or am I overthinking what the teacher said?

I know I should be SOOOOOO happy, I mean this is GREAT news!  Right?  But a tiny part of me is scared that she is going to be the weird genius who is socially inept. 

shopgirl78

My thoughts: 

1.  You will be thankful in the teenage years but really I don't think you have anything to worry about now.

2.   Do you take just Audrey out sometimes?   Every once in a while, I will take DS1 out to a birthday party (just him) for his class or something and he is a completely different kid without his sister.  His sister IS his comfort zone.  DS1 becomes much more reserved and  shy without his sister.  Seriously, different kid.I think its just his personality.    I figure he will make his own way though... 

3.  It may just be a personality trait and its nothing wrong with being shy & smart. Everyone can't be or wants to be Miss Popularity.... 

DandR

shopgirl78:

2.   Do you take just Audrey out sometimes?   Every once in a while, I will take DS1 out to a birthday party (just him) for his class or something and he is a completely different kid without his sister.  His sister IS his comfort zone.  DS1 becomes much more reserved and  shy without his sister.  Seriously, different kid.I think its just his personality.    I figure he will make his own way though... 

I do.  We have date nights with the kids individually.  She gets invited to her classmates birthdays and goes to those. They are different when not together, but not drastically, that I can tell.

susanmosley

DandR:

 

weird genius who is socially inept. 

If she is happy, i don't think this is a bad thing.  We need these people!

And I think it is very possible for a socially inept person to be happy - when you don't care about the social stuff, you don't care about the social stuff, kwim? 

xbrooklyngrl

I wouldn't worry. She is who she is, and whoever that is will still change 1000x's! She sounds like a fabulous girl!

B's BFF sounds very similar. I spent a few hours with them in class a few weeks ago because B was student of the week. I was really suprised to see how different B's bff is at school from how I know him to be. When he's over our house, he's loud and all that regular kid stuff and in school, he was like a different kid. He didn't participate in any of the class stuff like dancing or playing games, he never raised his hand, he didn't even want to answer when he was called upon. And he's a super smart kid. When I told his mom, she too was suprised he was so different in the class.

DandelionMom

For slowing work down, we talk about quality work and to my first grader I say something like "I think you can make this look like second grade work if you try really hard."  It seems to work.

For quiet/serious students, don't worry a bit!  Oldest DD is like this but she's always had a great group of friends that love her the way she is and she always does great in school.  We'll be thanking our lucky stars when they're teens. 

jlw2505

She sounds something like my niece who is now in 4th grade.  She has always been on the shy side, very quiet and really smart.  She has never had tons of friends, would much rather sit and read than do anything else although she is on a competivie gymnastics league at the moment which she loves.  She has found a few close friends but is far from social and has a hard time at school.  Not teased or anything just not in the popular group or anything.  To top it off, she is super tiny for her age and a lot smaller than all her classmates.  She will do fine and she has some great friends in her small circle.  She is even going away for a 2 week overnight summer camp this summer with one of her friends.