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weezie825

I am sort of thinking out loud here, but also soliciting advice....  I am thinking that I should take my facebook page private and do a mass "defriending."  Up until now I have had everything on my page public.  That's never bothered me because I figured that I don't post anything pon facebook that I wouldn't talk about in the hall at work or in the cafeteria.  So you know, nothing too personal. 

Additionally I have accepted almost every friend request that came my way.  A lot of these are from people I knew in highschool.  Quite a few of them I wasn't really "friends" with even back then. 

Since Evie is getting ready to get her "helmet."  I kind of feel like I should make my page more private.  I don't necessarily want to share this with a million people that I am not very close too, or don't know at all.  Also, as my husband loves to say, the intermnet is forever and I don't want to post pictures of my daughter that may eventually be fodder for middle school bullies...

But on the other hand, if I do this now will people assume that I am embarassed or ashamed about my daughter needing the helmet???

So, am I over-thinking this?  What would you guys do if you were me? 

JennigoesUSA

I think that you are over thinking it. But you need to be comfortable with your decision.

FieryIrishAngel

I've been gradually trimming down my Facebook over the past few months - old classmates with whom I never interacted, even Knotties/Nesties who I never spoke to, etc.  It makes me feel better to know that I'm tightening it down a little bit for the sake of my family as well as given the nature of my job.

That said, I do think you're over-thinking this as it relates to what Evie's going through, but I'm not in your shoes and have no idea what that must feel like for you, so I'm certainly not going to judge.  So no matter what your reasons, if you feel a need to start locking down your internet presence, then you absolutely should.

*hugs* I'm sorry you, Evie and T are going through this, hon.  

ngentile

When Avery was in her hip harness, I felt the same way.  I wasn't ashamed by any means, but at the time I was very sensitive about her diagnosis and didn't want to invite any questions or comments from people who even though I am FB friends with them, I haven't spoken to or emailed in years.

I have felt the same way about doing a mass de-friending, but moreso because it takes me way too long to go through status updates in the News Feed and I am not always seeing news and updates from the people I love and care about.  But de-friending people seems mean but I need to get over that!

jcsntms06

I'm with Jenni and Dani here. If your not comfortable sharing this part of your lives with others, I think trimming down your friends is okay. Is there a way you can limit who sees what on FB? I'm not really sure, I'm not to FB savy myself.

SnoopyLuv

I would definitely feel the same way and want to make things more private if I were in your situation. I think the biggest reason is not embarrassment but not wanting to re-hash Evie's medical records in a public forum. If you post a picture of her with the helmet you are inevitably going to have those who haven't spoken to you recently ask you questions and you'll feel compelled to have some kind of response. I honestly don't think someone you haven't spoken to in awhile would notice until you popped up as a "People you may know" one day and they say "Hmm, I thought I was friends with Maria".

KathrynMD

I think you are overthinking this a little bit, but I haven't been in your situation either.  I have been trying to trim down my FB lists too (I just have so much crap on there. ...) you can always make some pictures private too.

KathrynMD

FieryIrishAngel:

I've been gradually trimming down my Facebook over the past few months - old classmates with whom I never interacted, even Knotties/Nesties who I never spoke to, etc.  It makes me feel better to know that I'm tightening it down a little bit for the sake of my family as well as given the nature of my job.

That said, I do think you're over-thinking this as it relates to what Evie's going through, but I'm not in your shoes and have no idea what that must feel like for you, so I'm certainly not going to judge.  So no matter what your reasons, if you feel a need to start locking down your internet presence, then you absolutely should.

*hugs* I'm sorry you, Evie and T are going through this, hon.  

ditto this - I have some knottie/nesties who I NEVER interact with or just post obnoxious status updates, etc. I feel mean defriending them, but I have blocked a few.

kelleymark82606

I can totally understand how you feel and I don't think it is anyway an implication of being embaressed.  I wouldn't want to rehash the medical conditions/issues that may be going on with people I knew 10yrs ago and haven't spoken to since.  I am usually very picky about who I friend or accept on FB.  I have quite a few friends and probably need to even trim that list down, but I deleted a few back a while and it wasn't anything personal (i have no shame....i deleted Kathryn).  It was nothing against Kathryn or anyone else I deleted, i just deleted some that I didn't necessarily really "know" or that I didn't really chat with regularly.  Info got back to people on the nest when I was pregnant so my nestie friends are limited to people I know IRL from the board, which the leaking info could have been from someone i know IRL. 

 You can always leave your profile public just block your pics for just your friends to see. 

 It is a lot to take in during all this "new" stuff you are dealing with and I surely wouldn't want a million questions from people.  I wouldn't feel mean defriending at all, you want to stay connected to those you are close with and that is it.  Do what you feel comfortable with and I'm sure if someone gets upset, they'd understand the reasoning.

Cooper81

I think you are justified in doing this if you want.  Any medical issue can be sensitive and I think is very private.  Personally I have everything on the highest privacy settings, so only friends can see pictures, not even friends of friends.  It's not that I'm a super private person, but it just makes me feel better.  Although I know I have his picture in my siggy, but it's not connected to a lot of other personal info.

daisyterp

It's not clear from your post, but is your profile viewable to everyone on facebook or only to your friends?

I have it so that my pictures are set so that only my friends can see them with the exception of a few albums of pics of events like weddings, that I allow friends of friends to see, that way when I tag my friends in that album their friends who could have been at the event can also see- if that makes sense.  I have everything else minus my friends' list and my education info set so that only my friends can see.  I know some people have their info, walls, pictures, etc. all public so anyone can see anything, but that makes me really uncomfortable.  I also have it set so that only my friends/network can send me messages- I was getting FB spam. 

As far as your DD goes- I have friends who's children have worn helmets, one put cool stickers on her son's & made it look like a Ravens helmet and I saw it on facebook.  As ngentile said it's nothing to be ashamed about.   I think that FB can be a great way to raise awareness on a personal level and connect people.  A friend of mine from college has a son on the Autism Spectrum and she posts about an Autism support group she is a part of, gluten & casein free recipes, etc. and I have connected her to one of my local friends.  

You have to do what is most comfortable for you- 

 

moonfaerie

I have mine private because I'm worried about weirdos. You never know what weirdos do with your pictures, or will try to track you or your kids down. Call me paranoid, but there are some sick people out there.

So if I were you, I'd at least set my page to private. De-friending is up to you. Honeslty unless it was one of my besties I don't think I'd notice if someone defriended me, so don't feel bad about it if you decide to do it.

I wouldn't take it as you being embarassed about your daughter. The people who get defriended probably won't even know about it unless you see them IRL.

weezie825

I totally forgot that you can pick and choose what people see.  I need to learn more about the different privacy settings.

Thanks ladies!!  Sometimes it is good to talk things out. 

 

mrs. remy

Weezie if I were you I would start by setting my photos and profile to friends only. Thats what I do-it just makes me feel better that there are not random weird people out there looking through my info. And then, like pps have stated, maybe go through your list and delete some people who you don't interact with.

I am sorry you guys have to deal with this but it is definitely nothing to be ashamed of.....plenty of kids have gone through the same thing and turn out absolutely fine. Personally I LOVE seeing your pictures of Evie....so don't defriend me.....hahaha. She is such a little doll.