madelyn

theworms

hi cutie -

i just read through your WTF post.  ((HUGS))

i have a couple thoughts, feel free to ignore.

i know traveling for treatment is not doable but i think you should consider 2nd opinion phone consults anyway.  if the clinic is not accredited in your state they are usually free.

i would recommend trying one with CCRM and SIRM (dr. sher created a protocol for DOR that many have success with, i think njohnson used it w/ her last IVF).  even if you don't cycle OOT, they may be able to shed some light on your case and you can bring the new info back to your current dr. a different set of eyes may see something worth trying.

also, doing IUI's may seem like a step back but it worked before and can work again.  ginger67 (on PAIFf) got KU on IUI but m/c several times, did 2 IVF's and both were BFN's and then went back to IUI and is now on PAIF.

so, for some IUI's work better than IVF.  If your DH froze some samples you could cycle while he is OOT (not ideal but you wouldn't have to wait for summer).

anyway, whatever you decide I got your back. more ((HUGS))

madelyn07

Thanks worms. I appreciate the thoughts.

I know a lot of people would get a second opinion and I'm not against getting one, I just don't see the benefit. Regardless of what my RE says or another clinic says, we won't be doing IVF again. So if I did get a second opinion and they gave me some new ideas for IVF, it really wouldn't benefit me because we wouldn't use them. And I don't think getting a second opinion in regards to IUI is really necessary.

I know that some ladies have done IVF and had BFN and gotten pregnant from an IUI...that may be the small thing that is keeping me in limbo instead of pushing me to just say f it all today, which is what I thought I'd say.

We can't do IUIs with frozen samples though. Well, I guess we could but my RE really, really doesn't recommend it because of DH's past MFI issues and all. She said they really try to avoid using frozen sampes for IUIs. The freezing/thawing just has too much of an impact on the sperm. Now, if we were unexeplained or something, maybe, but with our diagnosis, we really need the sperm in tip top shape.

theworms

madelyn07:

I know that some ladies have done IVF and had BFN and gotten pregnant from an IUI...that may be the small thing that is keeping me in limbo instead of pushing me to just say f it all today, which is what I thought I'd say.  it happens cutie, i would just make sure you are on max progesterone

We can't do IUIs with frozen samples though. Well, I guess we could but my RE really, really doesn't recommend it because of DH's past MFI issues and all. She said they really try to avoid using frozen sampes for IUIs. The freezing/thawing just has too much of an impact on the sperm. Now, if we were unexeplained or something, maybe, but with our diagnosis, we really need the sperm in tip top shape. i can understand her reasoning but his S/A's have improved.  would you be willing (or your RE) to do a test thaw?  maybe the freezing won't  have as much as an impact as she thinks since his numbers, etc have improved

as you can see i'm trying all angles here

i really want your dream to come true

madelyn07

theworms:

madelyn07:

I know that some ladies have done IVF and had BFN and gotten pregnant from an IUI...that may be the small thing that is keeping me in limbo instead of pushing me to just say f it all today, which is what I thought I'd say.  it happens cutie, i would just make sure you are on max progesterone

We can't do IUIs with frozen samples though. Well, I guess we could but my RE really, really doesn't recommend it because of DH's past MFI issues and all. She said they really try to avoid using frozen sampes for IUIs. The freezing/thawing just has too much of an impact on the sperm. Now, if we were unexeplained or something, maybe, but with our diagnosis, we really need the sperm in tip top shape. i can understand her reasoning but his S/A's have improved.  would you be willing (or your RE) to do a test thaw?  maybe the freezing won't  have as much as an impact as she thinks since his numbers, etc have improved

as you can see i'm trying all angles here

i really want your dream to come true

I want it to, too. But not at the expense of my sanity which I feel like it is right now. I want to feel normal again. I don't want to sit here and put off my dream for another 6 months because I can't do anything about it. I don't want this to consume every aspect of my life the way it has for the past few years.

I suppose we could ask her about doing a test thaw but I just don't want to go into an IUI without the best possible chance at success and that's definitely not going to be with a frozen sample. If I'm putting all of my chances of reaching my dream in a freakin' IUI I need it to be the best that it can be.

 

theworms

i don't want you to lose your sanity either.  i hate this soooo much. 

wtf!  why can't it just be a little easier for us?

more ((HUGS))

how's DH dealing with WTF appt?

madelyn07

theworms:

i don't want you to lose your sanity either.  i hate this soooo much. 

wtf!  why can't it just be a little easier for us?

more ((HUGS))

how's DH dealing with WTF appt?

I have no clue but I'm really starting to hate this world.

Not really well..we were both shocked by the 30% thing...and he already didn't want to do another IVF unless we had some good, solid answers of why this one didn't work and why the next one would be better, which we obviously didn't get. Now he's 100% against doing another IVF which I'm fine with, I don't want to do it either.

 

patchen30

::Butting in::

I just want to second Worms' suggestion on a second opinion.  Do you not want to do IVF again b/c the RE gave you a 30% chance of success?  If that's the reason, I think it would be beneficial to do another consult, b/c someone else might tell you with X protocol you have an X percent chance of success.  And that protocol could be brought to your clinic if you don't want to travel.  Also I assume 30% is per cycle, right?  I think most clinics, even w/ an ideal candidate, will still only give ~50% chance of success. 

I'm not trying to push you if you've just had it and you're done.  I'm just saying if you wanted to think about IVF again, that one REs opinion about a 30% success rate doesn't have to be the end-all-be-all. 

We're here for you no matter what you decide.  ((BIG hugs))

madelyn07

patchen30:

::Butting in::

I just want to second Worms' suggestion on a second opinion.  Do you not want to do IVF again b/c the RE gave you a 30% chance of success?  If that's the reason, I think it would be beneficial to do another consult, b/c someone else might tell you with X protocol you have an X percent chance of success.  And that protocol could be brought to your clinic if you don't want to travel.  Also I assume 30% is per cycle, right?  I think most clinics, even w/ an ideal candidate, will still only give ~50% chance of success. 

I'm not trying to push you if you've just had it and you're done.  I'm just saying if you wanted to think about IVF again, that one REs opinion about a 30% success rate doesn't have to be the end-all-be-all. 

We're here for you no matter what you decide.  ((BIG hugs))

I never wanted to do IVF in the first place. The only reason I did it is because of DH's schedule and timing..I was hoping we'd end up with some frozen embryos so that I could do a FET in the next 6 months if need be. I have no interest in doing IVF again, regardless. Yes, part of it is the 30% thing but not all of it. DH was already really kind of against doing IVF again without some good, concrete answers today that would make us feel hopeful in the future. Clearly that didn't happen. He's not interested in paying all of that money OOP again for a 30% chance and I completely agree with him.

Even if we did get a second opinion and they gave us a slightly higher chance of success it still wouldn't be good enough for us to feel comfortable doing this again. If my first IVF at 25 had this kind of result and I really do have egg quality issues, they will only get worse as time goes on.

So, regardless of anything, what my RE says or a second opinion would say, we aren't doing IVF again. I just wasn't expecting her to suggest doing IUIs.

bhilyer

::butting in::

Madelyn,

I can't imagine everything you're feeling right now.  IF sucks and it's just not fair.

I wanted to let you know that I have a friend that started at our clinic and ended up tranferring to the UAB clinic.  Not long after switching clinics, she got her BFP.  Although you don't want to do IVF again, they may have some other ideas on how to make your future IUI cycle successful.

Huge hugs!!!

 ::butting out::