FIL's visit update

M.Amy

Well, this was supposed to be the interesting visit because we were meeting FIL's boyfriend but it was pretty uneventful. FIL was upset Matt wanted nothing to do with him but instead Matt loved his boyfriend.  Of course his boyfriend totally engaged with Matt while FIL frowned the whole time and just expected Matt to like him.

I really liked his boyfriend (from what I could tell in the short visit).  He played with Matt and took an interest in learning more about me and DH.  He is cute and looks younger than his age and the shocker (if there can still be one at this point) is that he cross-dresses.  He didn't go all out while he was here - just a few feminine touches in his clothes. Matt was very interested in his earrings.

There was only one awkward point when we ran into a friend of mine after dinner out and when I introduced them I didn't know what their preference was - boyfriend, friend, partner?  So there was an awkward pause then I just said his name.  Turns out "partner" is the answer.

If this is really a long-term thing then we will need to come up with a name Matt will call FIL's partner. We are having Matt call adults by their title and surnames with the exception of four close friends who are Uncle and Aunt. So no first names. I guess we will cross that bridge later! 

mtnrider

M.Amy:

If this is really a long-term thing then we will need to come up with a name Matt will call FIL's partner. We are having Matt call adults by their title and surnames with the exception of four close friends who are Uncle and Aunt. So no first names. I guess we will cross that bridge later! 

That's very European of you...are you German?

Poor FIL, I'm sure Matt will warm up to him, he was probably just into his partner's jewelry, babies love shiny things!  Tell your FIL to cross-dress next time he visits you too hahaha!

 

itsmexine

I'm glad it went well and that you liked FIL's partner. 

Of course his boyfriend totally engaged with Matt while FIL frowned the whole time and just expected Matt to like him. 

Hopefully FIL will take note and try to be more interactive next time. 

 

carladillon

I'm sure your FIL was nervous as well - think about the first time you brought DH home to meet your family for the first time. 

A pair of my best friends are a lesbian couple and one prefers "partner", the other prefers "life partner".  My male gay friends prefer "partner" or "boyfriend" depending on the nature of the relationship (partner conveys more serious relationship).  When in doubt, I always ask

mama.bear

Maybe your FIL can skype daily so Matty can get to know him?

M.Amy

mtnrider:

M.Amy:

If this is really a long-term thing then we will need to come up with a name Matt will call FIL's partner. We are having Matt call adults by their title and surnames with the exception of four close friends who are Uncle and Aunt. So no first names. I guess we will cross that bridge later! 

That's very European of you...are you German?

DH's family is of German & English decent.  Both of our families growing up were just really strict about children showing respect to adults by not using their first names. It has always stuck with me and to this day I refer to my parents' friends as Mr & Mrs So-in-so and DH does as well.

M.Amy

mama.bear:

Maybe your FIL can skype daily so Matty can get to know him?

DH does Facetime every so often but 99% of the time FIL doesn't care.  He really just expects Matt to show interest in the few moments FIL shows interest in him.

vanverth

If this relationship is perminate, ask the partner what he would like to be called.  It is a southern custom to call older friends of the family Ms or Mr Firstname.  My mother had a friend when we were growing up who was a "window dresser" meaning that he designed the shop windows for all the stores downtown.  He was "fabulous" and we called him Uncle Warner.  He gave us the best presents.