* * mom's of toddlers, social interaction question for you....

just_peachy

C&P from the Toddler Board and was hoping to get some feedback from you gals as well:

My tater tot is 14 months old and has a 2 year old cousin that he rarely sees.  Last weekend they came up for a visit and Jimmy finally got to "re-meet" him.

It was a disaster.

The cousin, like many 2 year old toddlers, screams when excited and happy, and it scared Jimmy so much that he started to cry anytime his cousin was in the room with him. 

Anytime Jimmy picked up one of Jerry's toys, Jerry would scream, run over and take it away from him - typical behavior but it was unsettling for James to have someone his own size be so vocal.

Also keep in mind that Jimmy is not used to other kids, he is watched by my mom and aunt while i work and doesn't have any social interaction with tots his age and size.  I'm hoping this will change come Springtime when they can take him to the park, or walks around the neighborhood and when I can buy and extra carseat for their cars to take him out and about.

What would you have done in this situation and any feedback is appreciated.

Thanks

 

Peppernut

I mostly just have sympathy.  Margaux' primary social interaction is with a little girl named Lucy, who'll be three this summer.  Lucy is a little blonde freight train.  She never stops moving, she shrieks, she has pushed Margaux more than once because Margaux was "in the way," she doesn't want Margaux to play with anything even at our house, where everything belongs to Margaux.

At first, Margaux was pretty freaked out and didn't like to be around Lucy much.  With time, she has learned to let a lot roll off her back and she holds her ground better.  Lucy has learned to be gentler, and she enjoys hanging around with Margaux now.   I can say with confidence they now like one another, and are friends.

I know that might not help much, since Jimmy and Jerry rarely see one another, but I think what you have described is pretty common for early interactions.   

just_peachy

thanks so much for the insight, peppernut!

stever

I think it'll just take time. I only have one friend with a baby M's age and we rarely see them, so his primary interaction has been at Gymboree. Early on he was spooked by the noise, and moving up to every new level - with bigger, louder, pushier, grabbier kids - is a bit of an adjustment, but he adjusts quickly.

All that rambling was meant to say that kids are resilient and that James will get used to his cousin and other kids with more exposure

And Pepper - "little blond hurricane." Love it!

just_peachy

thanks stever, i was hoping that he would get used to things the more he's around it.

vanverth

Michael has been in day care since 3 months.  He is not freaked out by older children because his day care is small and there are all ages between 3 months and 4 years in one room during the day and several older ones after 3pm.  He seems to be able to hold his own and strangers just don't cause him much problems.  I would also suggest story time at the local library as a way to get around kids his own age.

stever

just_peachy:

thanks stever, i was hoping that he would get used to things the more he's around it.

He should. Not necessarily after one long visit, but after a few visits he should start getting used to the idea of another small person.

SFAug07

Totally normal. When we first started taking Sarah to the playground and she started interacting with other kids, it scared her. Now she plays with other kids every day at the playground, at the library, at the zoo etc. and she is totally fine. He'll build his confidence as he gets more used to other kids. I think trying to get him to interact with other kids is a good idea.

mtnrider

Ditto what pp's said, try to expose him to more kids.  I think kids get the most obnoxious between ages 2 and 3 from what I've seen so just remember that Jerry will get better around Jimmy too.  Then Jimmy will be the one grabbing Jerry's toys!    In the meantime, can't you just leave your carseat for your mom and aunt to take him to indoor programs like storytime and gymboree type classes?