Advice Needed!

Chef16

So, my Fiance's uncle's girlfiend offered to throw us a shower which I thought was very nice of her. Since we are due April 4th, I figured after the holidays is when the planning would begin. Apparently no invites have been sent out, nobody knows of anything. People keep calling me for some reason asking me if I'm having a shower or if someone is throwing me one. I say yes, someone is throwing me one. Come to find out, Uncle's gf called my fiance's mother saying nobody has offered to help her and she is lost. Saying she desnt have the money to throw a shower by herself...This was almost a month ago. Recently one of our family friends tried to call her to see whats going on, and she apparently has been avoiding them! This is all too stressful for me. Should I just let it happen how it happens? What would you ladies advise? I told her that I dont want to have anything to do with the shower, because it would make me feel uncomfortable. She already told me 6 months ago all of the stuff she wants to do for us, from renting which hall, to shower favors for the guests.

 Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Kdonn15

I would stay out any and all discussions regarding planning.  If someone calls asking if someone is planning a shower you might want to say something along the lines of "I "think" so but don't have any details". It sounds like something will come together for a shower and unfortunately some people jump the gun on wanting to host and then realizing all the work involved.  Hopefully for you your FI mother will offer to help the GF out.  Don't stress about it, I doubt you won't have one at all.

srs5624

me&mybaby:

Uncle's gf called my fiance's mother saying nobody has offered to help her and she is lost. Saying she desnt have the money to throw a shower by herself...This was almost a month ago. Recently one of our family friends tried to call her to see whats going on, and she apparently has been avoiding them!

Honestly, I think she changed her mind and is backing away from her original plans to host a shower. It happens.

If anyone asks you about a shower, just say that you heard talk of one being planned a few months ago but nothing has been mentioned since that time. That should get the point across (politely) that as far as you know, nothing concrete is in the works so if someone else wants to step up they can.

AZ123

It sounds like she wants out of hosting it for you. She probably felt like she wanted to do it when she asked but then later, for whatever reason, decided she doesn't want to.

Has anyone else offered to throw you one? Talk to some of your close friends about it and see if anyone else volunteers or maybe your FI Mother. either way, I would say this uncle's girlfriend will not pull through for you at this point.

stephanie_shoe

It sounds like maybe the friend will just take over.  I wouldn't worry about the invites though-- I think those are only sent out about a month prior, which means there is still plenty of time for someone to step up to the plate.  I hope it works out!

Chef16

So, my fiance told me last night that his uncles gf called him about a month ago saying that she is planning the shower to be the last weekend in March! I'm due April4th! Basically, he said, not a good idea....maybe that shut her off to it? I wish she would just let me know if it's too much for her, i totally understand! I've planned showers before and I know how much work they are! I feel bad....

OctoberCAPA

I don't think you should feel bad.  You didn't ask her to host a shower for you or twist her arm or anything.  It sounds to me like she's backing out and is something of a flake.  When people ask you now, you can say that you'd heard X was, but it's been awhile and you don't know what's going on.  I wouldn't bring it up to friends to see if anyone volunteers though--if they want to, they will.