PT for almost 2 months and still not getting it?

aforst

We started PT DS1 about a week or 2 before X-mas.  We put him in big boy underwear and did diaper only for naps and night time.  We started out by putting him on the potty to pee every 30 mins.  Eventually we put him in underwear for bed time/nap too.  He does pretty good w/ the peeing.  The pooping, not so much.  I know that it can take a little longer to get the pooping down, but 2 months??  He does still pee in his pants, probably at least once a day. He almost always poops in his pants. He has only gone poop in the potty maybe 10 times since we have started this.

He will NOT tell us if he has to go, poop or pee.  If we don't put him on the potty consistently, he goes in his pants.  I don't really even consider it "accidents" at this point.  It's not like he's playing and gets distracted and pees or poops.  He will go hide and poop in his pants.  Sometimes he won't even tell us after he's done it.  We have tried everything.  We make a huge deal out of it when he poops in the potty, offer candy, toys, etc.  We have even tried taking the toys away w/ promise of getting them back when he does go.  He's a very strong willed child.  It's not that he doesn't get it, he's just choosing not to do it.

We have discussed putting him back in diapers (which he says he doesn't want).  It doesn't seem right that he should get the privilge of wearing the big boy underwear, w/o going in the potty.  I'm hopeful that maybe he would make the decision on his own to use the potty if he doesn't want to wear the diapers.

I guess my ? is, don't you think this has been going on too long? Shouldn't we have this down by now?  He will be 3 in 1 month.

Thanks!