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DH and I had a long talk (a bit long)

PachitaPachita member
in TTC After a Loss

So after a long day of work, DH told me to sit down bc he wanted to talk to me. Something bothered him at work.  Tongue Tied I'm thinking layoffs right away....DH is working part time thanks to all the cuts and it doesn't seem to get any better.

Well, he mentioned that the new asst. principal came and introduced himself to the dept.  Everyone introduced themselves, too. The conversation quickly turned into baby talk.  Everybody was talking about babies.  The asst principal is a new dad, there are two PG teachers, two new moms and the talk went on and on.  It really bothered my DH. He was about to walk out of the meeting if it wasn't for the new principal.

He told me, with a sad, teary eyed face, that when I told him this morning  that AF is most likely due today, it got him really upset. 

We had a good hug and even a tear or two. It's the first time I've ever seen him emotional about this.  He was really hopeful this cycle.

 He's been really strong and supportive throughout all my emotional days.  It was nice to know that I can be there for him too.

 

BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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Re: DH and I had a long talk (a bit long)

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    shoefreak85shoefreak85
    I think that it is wonderful that he is just as emotionally invested in the ttc process as you are!  It makes the process so much better!  I hope you get a bfp next cycle!
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    "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
    BFP #1 7/4/2010--Natural M/C 8/4/2010
    BFP #2 4/25/2011 Please stick, baby!! EDD 1/1/2012
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    opalloveropallover
    What a great moment you two shared. I love that you could be there for him as he has been for you!
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    kellbelle618kellbelle618 member
    aww ((big hugs)) for your DH. How nice that he shared that with you. I always wonder how all of the losses and friends having babies affect my DH but he never talks about it.
    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
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    Izabella22Izabella22 member
    I'm sorry about the impending Af, but how sweet and amazing that you two are on the same page and he thinks about it.
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    thewayiamthewayiam
    I'm so glad that he shared that with you, and that you have such an understanding and compassionate DH, who can share his emotions with you. I'm sorry he is having to deal with this. It's hard for the dads, too, isn't it? And for many, harder to share their feelings. My DH talks about it now and then.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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    BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
    Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
    BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
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    starrynytstarrynyt member
    So sad....but that's great that DH could open up to you like that.  Sorry to see your temp drop.  :-(


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    BFP #1 6.17.10 - natural M/C 5w2d
    BFP #2 8.4.10 - missed M/C, D&C 8w
    BFP #3 1.18.11 - natural M/C 5w1d
    BFP #4 5.6.11 - 13dpo: hcg 68, p 16.3; 16dpo: hcg 211,
    p16.6; 18dpo: hcg 416, p 15.6; 25dpo: hcg 6,007
    DS born 1/30/12
    BFP #5 4.28.13 - LO due 1/4/14

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    tew213tew213 member
    Aww that made me tear up. I am so sorry you are both going through this, but it is awesome how much you can support each other!
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    kelliandjustinkelliandjustin
    I'm sorry. :(  I'm glad you were able to be there for him.  Sorry AF is due any time now - I'm in the same boat. Hang in there.
    TTC Since 2/09... BFP 12/26/09 - Missed miscarriage (6 weeks), D&C 1/28/10, BFP 4/23/10 - Miscarriage (18 wks 4 days) due to Turner's Syndrome, Delivered Lyla Ann on 7/29/10, BFP 12/10/10 - Natural miscarriage (5 weeks 6 days) 12/23/10, BFP 2/2/11 - EDD: 10/15/11 - Stick baby stick!!
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    NY-allieNY-allie
    <Hugs>  I'm so glad that your DH opened up to you.  I hope next cycle is your cycle.
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    Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks

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    hopefulelisehopefulelise
    That's great that he can communicate like that to you. Interesting to hear that even guys can get emotional with too much baby talk, it's not just us! 
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    TapatioTapatio

    I'm sending you and your DH big hugs! I'm sorry AF might be on the way. I hate how ttc takes it toll on us and our DHs. I'm glad you could comfort each other ((extra hugs to both of you)).

    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
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    CaroleeCarolee member
    (((Hugs))) My DH was really hopeful about our last cycle too.  He was more disappointed than me I think, when I told him I wasn't pregnant.  I am sorry that your DH is having to deal with all of that at work, but it's good that you two were able to talk.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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    cutebride73cutebride73 member

    Your poor DH - that must have been so hard to sit and listen to that.  I'm sorry hun.  I really, really hope this next cycle will be the one for you!!  (((hugs)))

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    PachitaPachita member

    Thanks ladies!  He was def. more dissapointed that I was.  Not that I wasn't, but my instinct told me it wasn't our cycle.  I thinking BDing every day is not the way to go.  Next time it'll be EOD. 

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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    itsmeginitsmegin
    Oh wow. That is really sweet that he was so moved by it and that he was so comfortable sharing his feelings with you. This whole thing is so hard on our men too, sometimes I don't realize it. Sorry your DH has to deal with that.
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    butterfly843butterfly843
    Sending hugs.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

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    NiNi143NiNi143

    ((HUGE HUGS)) to you and DH. It's hard to see new parents everywhere.

     

    I'm so happy your DH feels comfortable enough to approach you. You two must have a wonderful relationship.

     *That's sexy too. I love that he cried on your shoulder. 

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    lauren.cuslauren.cus member

    ((hugs)). I'm so glad you could be a shoulder for him. Our DHs are heros for always being strong when we need them. It's nice when we can return the favor!

     

    ETA: and by Herod I mean heros lol 

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    PachitaPachita member
    imageNiNi143:

    ((HUGE HUGS)) to you and DH. It's hard to see new parents everywhere.

     

    I'm so happy your DH feels comfortable enough to approach you. You two must have a wonderful relationship.

     *That's sexy too. I love that he cried on your shoulder. 

    It's the most emotional I've seen him in well over 6 years....maybe more. 

    Speaking of sexy...DH and I made love just minutes later. Devil I'd like to think of it as part of the healing, too.

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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    GPicklesGPickles
    ((big hugs))  It looks like both our charts took a big nose dive today.  I know what you mean about the DH's being really hopeful this month  :(
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    millejj1millejj1 member
    It sucks that this experience has to be so hard. I am glad you were able to talk about it together.
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    PachitaPachita member

    imageGPickles:
    ((big hugs))  It looks like both our charts took a big nose dive today.  I know what you mean about the DH's being really hopeful this month  :(

    I see that AF showed her ugly face for you....I'm still waiting!  I hate the fact that my cycles are so much longer than before.  It doesn't make TTC any easier.

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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    haziedazehaziedaze member
    This gave me a lump in my throat! ((HUGS))
    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
    BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
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    BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
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    PachitaPachita member
    I know. You usually never expect them to get emotional. I think I can count with one hand the times I've seen him cry and still have fingers left. There was a point where I thought he wasn't emotionally vested in this (or so I thought). His reaction made me realize how much it hurts him too.

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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    julesjbjulesjb member
    Awww this made me cry....big ((hugs)) to you both
    BFP #1 6/18/10 Saw HB 7/15/10 Missed M/C 8/17/10 @ 12 weeks 2 days- 2 D&C's( 8/20 and 8/26) BFP#2 11/21/10 Nonviable at 5wks, possible ectopic. Methotrexate 12/3/10&12/9/10 BFP#3 3/10/11 Beta@12dpo 39 Beta@14dpo 160! 21 DPO 2439 HB at 7wks 127 EDD 11/17/11
    ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
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    jinx75jinx75
    I am so sorry you're both going through this!! I am glad your DH opened up to you though it can't be easy keeping all that inside!!  I am praying you both get your take home baby this next cycle!!
    PRINCESS31stbirthday
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