How is DH doing with the baby? — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

How is DH doing with the baby?

Just wondering how your H's are handling the baby? Mine keeps saying that the baby doesn't like him. LO doesn't settle as quickly with him and often wakes up once he picks LO up.

 Is anyone else's H having trouble coping as a new father?

Re: How is DH doing with the baby?

  • Well this is our second so DH handles DD fine. The only thing he doesn't do is change the diapers when I'm using prefolds because I haven't taught him how to fold them yet. He changes them but uses a different kind. He let me sleep on the couch last night and got up with her all night.
    IMG_5889 Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • DH had never held a newborn & was terrified while I was pregnant.  Once DS came he has been amazing.  I'm almost jealous of what a natural he is.  He swaddles & bathes him much better then I can.
  • Loading the player...
  • image MaddysMama07:
    Well this is our second so DH handles DD fine. The only thing he doesn't do is change the diapers when I'm using prefolds because I haven't taught him how to fold them yet. He changes them but uses a different kind. He let me sleep on the couch last night and got up with her all night.

    Most of my family is scared of prefolds, DH included.  We got 6 AIOs for him & my parents to use when they babysit. 

  • My DH is wonderful and tries the best he can. He does diapers, feedings, tries to play with the baby but the baby just doesn't seem to settle with him as well or as quickly as he does with me. Any tips?
  • Dh does great when he wants to.  However, I'm a little resentful because he kind of does what he wants (spend an hour and a half washing his car, take a long nap in the evening even though he doesn't get up with her at night, etc) and I feel like I'm so tied down.  He does great with her when he has her, and he loves cuddling with her (the fun stuff).  He doesn't shy away from diapers and he is pretty good about taking care of her for a little bit on the weekends so I can get out of the house to go to the grocery store or Target.  I'm still trying to adjust to motherhood and I'm struggling with my hormones, so hopefully all of this will resolve itself.  I know he's got a lot on his plate with work right now, too, so I'm trying to be understanding.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • image prostarr:
    My DH is wonderful and tries the best he can. He does diapers, feedings, tries to play with the baby but the baby just doesn't seem to settle with him as well or as quickly as he does with me. Any tips?

    This is us, too. If I know LO is hungry, then he comes right to me. If we are not sure then I just let DH and baby work it out.

  • DH says the same thing, "the baby doesn't like me!" he thinks LO responds better to me, and that I can get him down to sleep easier than he can. I try to tell him that it only seems like I have an easier time because I have more patience than he does! DH calls me the "snake charmer" haha! he thinks I work some magic on the baby.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • DH did great with DS in the hospital, I didn't change a diaper until my 2nd day home.  I don't think he realizes the time it takes to put him to sleep or get him back to sleep though.  DH has weekend duty but he brings him into the living room and plays video games with LO sitting in his swing at 5am instead of getting him to go back to sleep after a bottle.  I tell him to feed, burp, rock back to sleep and to stay in the room but he gets bored (this process takes an hour usually).  He also won't handle LO when he is fussy, he gives him to me to calm down.  I'm working hard to get a solid routine down and I feel like DH just does whatever he wants. Vent over.

    James Sawyer 12.3.10
    Leo Richard 9.20.12 
    image

  • I started having DH take the first morning feeding before he goes to work with DD to let them have some bonding time. I also let him handle her tummy time in the evening. I find the best approach is to just back off and let them have their time together. He wont relax with her if he feels like I'm standing over his shoulder making sure he doesn't screw up :P
  • My DH was a lot like your DH when we had DD. He was very overwhelmed, he was awkward and nervous and DD sensed that. He felt like because he didn't have the boobs, she never wanted him. He didn't really start getting "good" with her until she was over 1... sometimes he tried, sometimes he just gave up.

    This time around it's a world of difference... I expected him to be a lot like he was with DD, but he isn't at all! I do think it has to do with DS being so chill, while DD was very high-maintenance. And us being older, less stressed, etc.

    Mom to J (10), L (4), and baby #3 arriving in July of 2015
  • DH doesnt think she likes him either.  She tends to be more fussy when he holds her.  he does help a lot by fixing bottles and getting up at night to help out.  he doesnt change diapers however and i usually end up feeding her. 
    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tte9e95.aspx[/img][/url]

    [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/b88hti.jpg[/IMG]

    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/35kpogp.jpg[/IMG]
  • Just wanted to point out that if you're EBF, it's pretty natural for the baby to have more of an attachment to his/her mom than dad. Mom's got the juice. Dad has nothing to offer them really.

    Tell your H to hang in there & keep trying to bond with baby. It will get better. My DH used to be jealous that DS would calm instantly when I held him, but DH couldn't calm him. Now, DS falls almost instantly asleep in dad's arms... which must be warmer than mine :)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • This is DH's third baby and he still says that. lol Your DH just needs to relax and let the baby adjust to their new surroundings. As long as he keeps handling the baby, LO will eventually be soothed by him just as much as you.

    image

    image
    image

  • image prostarr:

    Just wondering how your H's are handling the baby? Mine keeps saying that the baby doesn't like him. LO doesn't settle as quickly with him and often wakes up once he picks LO up.

     Is anyone else's H having trouble coping as a new father?

    Holy crap. Are we married to the same guy?!

  • image Nurse122705:
    DH had never held a newborn & was terrified while I was pregnant.  Once DS came he has been amazing.  I'm almost jealous of what a natural he is.  He swaddles & bathes him much better then I can.

     

    This! While I have delt with many babies (sisters babysitting etc etc) I've never delt with newborns and so far hubby has been the one teaching me! It's really cute watching him with Alex, he's such a natrual!

    Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
    By lilenatalem at 2012-01-28 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • DH jumped right in and will do anything - I think he actually changes more diapers than I do!  However, he gets super stressed when DS cries, especially in the car.  On his first solo trip with the baby (a whopping 10 miles) he stopped 4 times to feed, burp and change the baby.


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



  • DH us great with him. They sit and talk about sports, make faces at each other, DH will read aloud to him whatever he's reading at the moment. He does probably 75% of the diaper changes (with prefolds). We like the saying I read in my la leche league book that babies learn from daddies that love doesn't always come with milk.
  • Wonderfully! He'd had previous experience with 3 younger brothers (he helped his single mother out a lot) but having your own is a whole different ball field! He was timid at first, especially with bathing her but he got over that quickly. LO adores her daddy. It's the cutest thing ever!
    IAmPregnant Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards