Grandmother in law vent-long
So my Husbands grandmother has never liked me. She has always made nasty comments to me such as "I trapped my H into marrying me by getting pregnant", "He would of been so much happier if he would of married his Ex instead of me.", "I'm not good enough for her grandson, and should be grateful he puts up with me." She is always interfering with our relationship which in part is my H's fault, and causing fights. Even though until recently he hasn't seen it. Well we had words on Christmas when sh came over and commented on how she couldn't" stay here a minute more b/c my house is filthy and she couldn't believe I can raise my children this way." I had enough and pretty much told her to get out then. Well today I get a call from this lovely lady.
We went for an ultra sound the first week in Jan, and the tech thought it would be a boy, but was only about 75% sure. Well he of course called his grandmother to tell her the news and she asked if it was going to be named after him, he told her that even though he really wanted to, I didn't like the idea of it and would like to incorporate my grandfather's name some how. Of course she told him, I was being unreasonable and he is going to be paying for this child for 18 years, that he should be able to name his son whatever he wanted. Her advice caused a big fight.
Well after the huge argument we came up with a compromise and our both happy with the name we picked, Well Saturday I went for an F/U ultrasound, where we definitely saw boy parts. So once again he tells his grandmother that yes indeed it is a boy and she asks what we decided to name the baby so he tells her.
She calls me today and tell me that I'm just being unreasonable. I should let him name the baby after him. It is his son , and he has been waiting a long time for a son,and how disappointed he was that I gave him two daughters first. That if I want to be a good wife, I would pick up my bible and read it... it says that I need to do whatever my husband wants... and how historically the mother has no say when it comes to naming the children that it is the father's choice, and that if I want his support with this baby I would change my mind. She also went on to tell me that I'm going to regret naming the baby the name we picked out b/c my H will be unable to love him b/c he is so upset about the name.
I eventually couldn't take anymore and hung the phone up on her. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but where does she get off. I'm just so annoyed I really wish somehow I could cut all ties from her, but I know that isn't going to happen.
Re: Grandmother in law vent-long
Well you definitely need to talk to your husband and how he needs to stand up for you and tell his grandmother to STFU.
To me she sounds very two faced with the way she is with you and then with your DH. I personally would record some of the things she says to you. Nothing like hard evidence to shut the hag up.
Just remember that no matter what you and your DH are on the same page and are the parents, who gives a sh!t what she thinks any way. In one ear out the other is usually a good one when it comes to IL's.
My grandmother-in-law is a terrible human being. Luckily, my DH knows this as well as I do and we don't really have contact with her. My MIL has four children, my husband, her youngest, is the only one who is her late husband's natural child. He took care of all four but the fact that my DH has his bio-dad around made her feel like he had everything he needs in life and can just be ignored. DH and I have been together for 8 years and every Christmas get-together we've had since then she has happily passed around presents to everyone in the room, except us. Not that I need a Christmas present, I don't, I am just saying.
When my FIL was nearing the end last year, she purposely did all sorts of bizarre and ridiculous things to end up in the hospital so everyone would pay her attention. Her husband has severe Alzheimer's and she tells everyone he is just faking it, and she hides his medication from him.
It sounds like your grandmother-in-law and mine would get along wonderfully. The only suggestions I have for you is to ignore her, and to spend as little time with her as possible. I wouldn't answer the phone when she calls, if I were you. Some people just are not worth it.
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Totally would have told Grannie that I'd rather take her bible and thump her over the head with it.
Oops, did i say that out loud?
Oh, and I totally agree with Kerr, your husband needs to grow a pair.
If he made an agreement with you, he needs to tell his grandmother that it was his decision also.
I suppose that's one good thing about being as old as I am and having kids... all your grandparents are dead. Oops did i say that out loud too?