Advice from military moms — The Bump
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Advice from military moms

I am active duty Air Force and about 8 weeks pregnant. Lately at my job I am finding my workplace pretty much unbearable. I hate my job, it is not one I chose, I just want to do something different. Now that I am expecting that changes things a little.

 

For one, when my enlistment was coming up, I had planned on cross training into another job. Right now I am a Dental Assistant and I absolutely cannot stand it! Now that I will have a child, I am second guessing it because cross training would take me away from my child for who knows how long while I attended technical school. My husband is also Active Duty Air Force, so moving my family with me wouldn't be an option. Another aspect is with my current job, there is absolutely no chance of my being deployed unless I volunteer for TCN duty. If I cross training into something else, I think that would definitely increase my chances of being deployed and I'm not sure I want to be taken away from my child. There is also the option of doing hardship separation, but at this point we just make too much money being dual military and I don't think we could make it on just his salary and at the moment I don't have anything I could do in the civilian sector that would pay me enough. One thing I have considered is maybe it is just this base that is so crappy and I haven't been to any other base doing my job.

I am just so very unhappy with what I am doing and I guess I just need some advice. I am tired of being miserable where I am and I am wondering how much harder its going to be doing something I hate and having a child, which is my fist child btw. Anyway, thanks for any advice you can offer!

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Re: Advice from military moms

  • What do you hate about your job?
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  • It's a difficult decision- I just went through sometime similar. For us, the best choice was for me to get out and my husband to stay in.

    It really comes down to deployments- if you are not willing to do one, you should get out. I have done a 15 month deployment, but now that I have a child, I am not willing to go back. It's a scary and hard decision, but is the best for my family.

    Going to one income from dual military (and dual BAH) is incredibly scary. We are not only going to one income, but moving to the DC area too with a HCOL. We are determined to make it work though- because again, I know it's best for our family.

    Not sure what the AF offers that is similar to the Army's ACAP program, but you could also look into going to school with your post-9-11 GI bill benefits to transition over to a different job. The changes they are making this year to the bill allow for payment to non-degree programs, so as long as it is VA approved you could go for your CNA or sometime similar if you wanted to stay medical.

    Good luck, it's a hard decision to make.

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  • I am AD and work in healthcare as well, so I do know what your job entails.  What do you hate about it?  Does it bore you?  The schedule must be pretty set in stone. 

    Do you go to school? Have you ever thought of an Enlisted to Officer program?  Maybe deploying as a TCN would give you some excitement and get you back into things. 

    Anyway, just hang in there.  Don't make any rash decisions.  The stability of the service is good in this economy. 

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  • imageGreen*Flamingo:

    It's a difficult decision- I just went through sometime similar. For us, the best choice was for me to get out and my husband to stay in.

    It

     

    As this person said, I am doing the same. My husband and I are both AD AF. I am using the pregnancy early separation option. I got all the info on it from Separations at my MPF and on vMPF. THe break down is you pick a date before your EDD and send the application up to AFPC and they come back with approval or disapproval. As PP said, it is scary losing all of my extra income but bc I am a shift worker as is DH we had to decided what was best for our family, bc good childcare is another hard option to find. I would suggest exploring all of your options. If you feel you no longer want to be in, then you have to make the choice for your family. I wish you luck

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  • I have been in the Navy for 10 years.  We were dual military, but my husband ended up being the one that got out because he hated his job.  I have encountered some problems with people treating me like crap once I got pregnant and it has made me dislike my job quite a bit in the last couple of months.

    Here's my only advice, Don't make any rash decisions!  Start exploring all of your options now and making pro's and con's lists, but wait until you are holding your child to make a decision.  As the Navy deploys longer and more often than the Air Force, I have to say that I am envious of your non-deploying status.  This will probably matter more once your baby is born than it does right now.

     I am also exploring my options for job changes, (college classes, special duty, officer packages) however I'm doing as much research as I can right now, talking to my husband, and weighing the pro's and con's.  I promised myself I wouldn't make a decision until 6 months after I deliver and my hormones even out!  :-)

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