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Hawaii Babies
Naps are the bane of my existence
We have been trying, unsuccessfully, for the past 3 hours to get Kaya to nap. B put her down at 10 and we decided we would try to let her CIO because naps have always been hard and we often spend 30 minutes getting her to go down. Then she only sleeps for 30 min up to 1.5 hours. Actually, last night she slept for 5 minutes. Yes. 15 minutes to get her down and she woke after 5 minutes. We are tired of spending so much time just to get her down in the first place.
Anyways, so at 10 he put her down and she cried. Went in after 5 minutes, laid her back down, patted, left. Then again after 10 min, then 15, then 20, then 25. By that time I figured she was hungry so I got her and nursed her. Of course, she started to fall asleep after nursing for a few minutes. So I woke her up and switched sides. She started to fall asleep again so I tried putting her down in her crib again. She would.not.nap. Tried to let her cry a few minutes again but I knew she wouldn't sleep. So I went back in and tried to nurse her more, thinking maybe she was still hungry. She started to fall asleep AGAIN, so she's obviously tired. I tried AGAIN putting her in her crib and she just cried. So finally, I just sat in the chair in her room and read. I let her cry. She didn't cry for very long. Then she started playing. And chewing on the crib rail. This went on for a good 45 minutes until I finished my book and finally decided that she just wasn't going to nap. UGH.
Anyone have any suggestions for getting her to nap? I'm sure she'd fall asleep if we were in the car, or if we went for a run with her in the BOB. But I'm not in the mood to even leave the house anymore because I'm so frustrated and I want to get some things done around the house.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure she's not teething or anything. She's got her 8 front teeth (4 top and 4 bottom) and I can't feel any swelling or anything anywhere else.
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Re: Naps are the bane of my existence
I am sorry, I can sense your frustration. Any chance she's trying to drop her morning nap? Libby is just two or three weeks older than Kaya and she dropped her morning nap about two weeks ago, so the same age as Kaya is now.
The only time she'll nap in the morning now is if she wakes SUPER early...like today...she work up for the day at 5 a.m. (that's the time I get up for work so I nurse her but she usually goes back down until 8-9 a.m.). She now has a regular nap after lunch...1-3 or 4, depending on her day. Maybe that's what Kaya's doing too?
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Sorry girl! Lori may be on to something? I think Ryan is already in the process of dropping his morning nap too and he's right behind your LO. I know that I'm in the minority here but I'm big on controlled CIO. When I know Ryan needs to sleep we put him in his crib and for the next 1 1/2 hours he's going to stay there. I know he doesn't understand this yet but we tell him he can sleep or just have quiet time. If he cries (not just a fuss) we'll come in lay him down, give him a paci and say "go night night" and walk out. We're in there no more than 10 seconds. We will go in every 10 minutes if he's really riled up. We don't ever usually have to go in more than one or two times though. Most of the time he just fusses 30 seconds & rolls over and sleeps. I think he knows what to expect from us and knows he's wasting his effort trying to get us to take him out of his crib.
I know every baby is different so that might not work for her, this is just what works for us. But, Kaya is getting what she wants by crying...you.
I think you're on to something. I just wasn't sure how long to keep it up. I think from now on this is what we'll do until she gets it.
I don't know if she's ready to drop a nap because I know she was tired since she fell asleep nursing. Plus, she was fussy. I think it may because she's starting to walk. She went from 2-3 steps the past couple days to up to 17 steps today! She was so happy and giddy when we were letting her walk in a big open space, but otherwise she was a grump. Guess those milestones really do mess with their sleep.
totally agree w/this! I think she needs to learn that crying does not equal mommy/daddy time. i knew when she was ready to drop a nap b/c i'd put her in the crib and she'd lay there for over an hour every time (not just occasionally) before falling asleep. but i thought there was no way she'd do it b/c she was always sooooooo tired (rubbing eyes, yawning, etc) when i put her down for the morning nap. but w/o fail she'd act super tired and then lay there forever. so, we transitioned to one nap/day last week and while she does get tired and sometimes yawn i keep her up and she does ok. i was worried she'd get super cranky but she does great! i now wait until at least 1pm before putting her down. kaya may not be ready yet (some babies drop it early but on average around 15-18 months) but just wanted to tell you what signs i watched for b/c i really wasn't sure if she was ready yet.
congrats on the walking btw!! so exciting
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
This:
And this:
It took me a long time to get to this point with my boys - especially Will - because of course it's awful to listen to them cry. But finally I decided two things: to call nap time "rest time" (I know it's just semantics but it helped me deal with the fact that they don't always sleep lol!) and that Will HAD to sleep. No matter what. Sleeping isn't optional, even if hanging out with mama is more fun. We ended up having to do CIO for three days at nap time with him, and ever since then he's been totally fine.
If he's really crying - not just fussing - we'll go in, give him his paci, a pat on the back, say, "Have a good nap, sweetie" (random, but it's what I always say when leaving the room at nap time), and leave the room. We're in there for 10-15 seconds, no more. No playing, no cuddling, nothing - he takes any and every interaction as an invitation to stay awake so we limit his interaction time when he needs to be resting.
I know that might seem harsh, but it's what works for Will. I don't think it affects our bond, or his knowing that I'll come when he needs me. If he falls over and hits his head, I'm there in a flash to hug and comfort him and kiss it to make it better. If he's cutting a tooth and in pain, I'll do what I can to relieve the pain and hold him close. If he's just having a clingy, grumpy day, I'll cheer him up. But if it's nap time and he's fed and dry and just wants to party? Mama ain't having anything to do with that, kid - you need to sleep.
So did you do it where you go in after longer and longer intervals? I wasn't sure how long I should wait, how long the whole thing should take. I'm thinking of going in after 5 min, then 10, then 15, and so on until the total time is 1.5 hours. Is that good? And if she's not fully crying, just whining/fussing, I shouldn't even go in because it's going to make it worse, right? Because when she sees me she cries harder and she just fights me when I try to lay her down.
She was just quiet for a minute so I peeked in and she was just standing in the corner of her crib staring out.
That's almost worse than crying. Gah.
I know this works best for some (most?) babies, but for Will I actually had to leave him for much longer periods of time - give him like 15 min, then 30 min, etc. He would actually get MORE worked up if he saw me than if I just left him alone. I think it largely depends on the baby's personality though.
When Will is whining/fussing, I don't even step in the room because when I leave again he'll escalate into full blown hysterics - it's better just to let him settle himself. But again, that's probably a personality thing...it does sound like it might be an issue for you too, though.
Yes. She totally cries harder if she sees me.
So in the 1.5 hours, she did.not.sleep. At one point she started to cry hard again so I went in and smelled poop. So I changed her and tried to put her down again, and of course she was not having it. After a few minutes of crying she got back to whining/fussing so I let her go. At the end of 1.5 hours I just went in and got her out of her crib. And she was fine. Like nothing happened. Hope we can get her napping within a few days!
Hmm. How is she after the 1.5 hours, since it was all awake time? Does she still seem tired and needing a nap? Or maybe she is trying to drop a nap like Lori suggested after all?
we have a video monitor so I can easily see what she is doing... she would do the exact.same.thing! she stands in the corner of her crib (closest to the door) and stands there, staring at the door, waiting to see if you're going to come back in! once i realized that she was doing this (and that nothing was wrong) i was more willing to just let her CIO. that, and the fact that sometimes she'd be crying bloody murder and i'd walk in and there were no tears so then I knew she was really doing it just for attention.
this is how Miss A is too. if she is whining/fussing i don't bother going in and eventually she just goes to sleep
even now in the mornings I have learned that even though she wakes up and cries "mama, mama, maaaaaaaaaaaama!" if i let her do it for a few minutes, she is usually back asleep w/in about 5 minutes and then I get to "sleep in" until 7:30 or so instead of getting up at 6:30-7!
I would continue trying what you are doing - today sounds good if she stopped crying and just hung out for a while in there. if she eventually starts sleeping on her own then great..but if she continues staying awake all the time then i'd consider dropping that nap.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
I guess you could do 5 then 10 then 15. We do every 10 minutes because we try to stay consistant in every way possible. Remember, this is something new for both of you so you both have to unlearn to old habbit and learn to new one. Sometimes it will happen in a few days but more often I think it probably takes longer, just stay consistant! And yes, if she's not fully crying don't even go in there!
I guess you could do 5 then 10 then 15. We do every 10 minutes because we try to stay consistant in every way possible. Remember, this is something new for both of you so you both have to unlearn to old habbit and learn to new one. Sometimes it will happen in a few days but more often I think it probably takes longer, just stay consistant! And yes, if she's not fully crying don't even go in there!
She was ok, but somewhat fussy.
How I know she needs to nap, like right now, is she falls asleep nursing and she's fussy. Doesn't want to be held, doesn't want to sit still, doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to read. Ugh. I can't keep her up for another 2 hours like that. She will drive.me.nuts.
I'm trying it again right now for her first nap. I think I'll do the every 10 minutes, except she gets to where she's just fussing and yelling but not really crying. So that throws me off. When I go in it just tends to make things worse.
Someone (I can't remember who, sorry) mentioned in a CIO post a while back that when her LO cried, she couldn't go in at all. Not every 10 min, not every 30 min, nothing - it just made it 10x worse. She had to just close the door and walk away, which was obviously awful but her LO needed to be left totally alone. Maybe Kaya is the same? I know it would be so hard to do, I don't blame you if you don't want to try it.
I ended up going in a couple times when she was really crying. It did make her cry harder for a little bit. The rest of the time she was just whining or yelling (with brief pauses of silence), so I let her go and after an hour, she finally fell asleep for about an hour and 15 minutes. It's progress!
Almost time for her 2nd nap of the day. Hopefully this will be easier.
*crosses fingers*
Yaaaay for progress! Hopefully it will only get easier from this point on...the first time was the hardest for Will, and after that the crying before the next few naps got shorter and shorter and by day three he was totally fine. I know it's so hard! But just think of it in a positive way: you're giving her tools to help her sleep independently, and that's a good thing.