Grumble

2brides

We've really had no issues being a 2 mom family at our kids' school. We are the first same-sex family that they've had and we've been pleased with everyone's response.

When I got to school and one of the teacher's aids (who we don't like very much - but has nothing to do with us being gay) came running up and said, "I just wanted you to know that we were talking about families and I was saying that everyone has a mommy and a daddy. Some people don't live with their mommy or daddy, but everyone has one. I told them some people live with 2 moms or 2 days or 1 mom or 1 dad or grandparents, etc - but everyone has 1 mom and 1 dad. I just wanted you to know in case they say something."...then she babbled on about her own kids and how they don't live with their father, etc.

 Me:  Sigh. "Well, they don't have a dad, a daddy, or a father. To us those terms denote someone who is a parent - either in the home or not.They do not have a male parent in that sense. We don't know who their donor is and he isn't a parent to them. They know that they have 2 moms and because the kids don't understand or haven't asked about biology, we haven't talked about their donor yet - his gift to us and how his gift allowed us to have them."

 I get that she was saying that that it takes a man/sperm to have a child, but she wasn't giving a biology lesson - she was talking about family composition. The kids didn't ask about having a father - and we read the Family Book that night at bed. I brought the Family Book (and the Mommy Book ) in to their school for her to read. L was pretty upset and you can be sure we'll be discussing this with the lead teacher at our parent-teacher conference next week.

 

 

msjcordova

I would have been upset. Just me though..

Tanya+Da

I would have been upset as well. I think you handled it marvelously with the educational book and the concept of donor vs. 'known in an intimate way' dad. Let me know how it turns out!

cymru

If she felt it was a problem that she needed to come running to you with , you would think maybe she should have discussed how to adress this ahead of time rather than trying to backtrack.

Sorry she is such a  dimwit. Hopefully she will have learned something from this.

Two*True

cymru:

Sorry she is such a  dimwit. Hopefully she will have learned something from this.

Agreed. She obviously understood she didn't explain things appropriately so I think it's great you are taking in books and going to talk to the lead teacher.

 And I think we need to use the word 'dimwit' more often around here ;-)

Two*True

cymru:

Sorry she is such a  dimwit. Hopefully she will have learned something from this.

Agreed. She obviously understood she didn't explain things appropriately so I think it's great you are taking in books and going to talk to the lead teacher.

 And I think we need to use the word 'dimwit' more often around here ;-)

2moms2twins

aww man .. well she is just an aid and when i work for a elementary school we were not allowed to do things like that and our school was BIG ON DIVERSITY. 

You did handle it amazingly I would of lost my Sh***. 

 What books are you talking about would love to know so we can get them

 

-J&M

2brides

This is the book

https://www.amazon.com/Family-Book-Todd-Parr/dp/0316738964

 When L went to pick them up, the aid that she hadn't read the books because she felt that the lead teacher should read it (she is out of town this week.) I think she knew she was over her head. :P

ssg73

I think she handled it very well.  I would have been disapointed but not mad I guess.  She was not trying to be disrepectful I think in the moment she got off track and didn't know how to get back on.  I would def. talk to the lead teacher and explain what your boys understand of their family and how you would like it handled in the class room.  I think this is a teachable moment for both the school and the boys teachers. 

thiswillbe

Sounds like you handled this very well. Great idea to take in the books. I agree it's a nice teachable moment. Let us know how it goes at the parent-teacher conference!

Mrs._F

Sounds like you handled it very well!  I would have been very disappointed to.  Classic case of someone putting adult thoughts (I know it takes a man and a woman to create a child) on kids who don't yet need that information.

I'll be interested to hear if anything else comes of this!

madisonpeas

Sounds like you handled it so well....but ugh, sometimes I forget in the "handling it well" that we still get to be irritated that it happened to begin with...anyone else know what I mean?  Great job and best of luck with the lead teacher.

ctbride08

Call me b!tchy, but i would have been really irritated.  I think the teacher's conversation with the kids was totally inappropriate.

madisonpeas

I can totally go there with you, CT.  Why is there a need to say "everyone has one"?  I just don't get why that is a point that needs to be made. At.all.