FFFC

YaraC

You all will probably flame me regardless of the fact that it's Friday.

I hate the fact that DSS will be with us for the next week (50/50 every other week). He used to be a sweet kid but now that he is firmly a tween he is filled with attitude and defiance that is added on top of a textbook case of ADHD (he's medicated at school but not outside of school). All of this results in constant battles between him and DH and his bad behavior consumes all of DH's time when he is here and DH has nothing left for Caroline. He frequently has meltdowns and tantrums over video games and anything else that doesn't go his way.  I have to lock myself in the bedroom with Caroline just to Skype with my parents because he can't let anyone get attention other than himself. It is just so stressful to be home, I usually take Caroline out of the house all day on the weekends just so we don't have to be around it.  DH feels bad because he sees it all and is trying (has DSS in therapy. meets with the therapist frequently) but just doesn't know what to do. He is the same way at his mother's house.

I'm in it for the long haul with DH so it's just something I have to deal with but man I miss the cute 7 y/o that has been eaten by this tweenage monster.

 

I may DD this later. 

 

daisydana

You are just being honest. And I'm sure if any of us asked you if you love him, you would say yes. I can't imagine having a blended family and all the stress that can create. Caroline is your main priority. He knows that and that is probably some of the reason he acts out or craves the extra attention. Babies are cute without trying. He probably feels like he has to be "on" to get the same level of interest. Or "bad".

Hugs.

Married2003

Oh, I think you just wrote about my nephew; but he's 17 yo.  He used to be sweet but now he's so anti social with the family; has no respect when there's an adult in the room; he talks back to everyone; and he has ADHD.  My sister always excuses him and blames the ADHD; but honestly I think it has lot to do with how my sister and her husband raised him...spoiled.  I'm very closed to my sister and see her often; so I see my nephew just as much.  He is yet to acknowledge Thomas.  He basically told my sister he hates babies! 

dkays

You have all my respect.  I can't even begin to imagine the blended family challenges. Hopefully things will improve sooner than later. 

ShannonLK

I feel for you, I really do. I know how hard it can be to deal with.

My 11 year old was diagnosed with ADHD in the 1st grade. He is now in the 6th grade so we have been battling this for several years now. It can be tough...really, really tough. He lives with his dad now and I'll be honest and say that it makes for a less stressful home life now. There are moods and meltdowns, like you said, that can be hard to handle. It doesn't mean I dont miss him like crazy, but, well I hope you know what I mean!

superaunt

hugs!!

Peppernut

Nothing but love!

Maybe the onset of puberty is overwhelming for him on top of everything else, and in a year or two he'll be a bit more used to the hormones and it'll be a little easier?

Really, you have my support and respect.  Blended families are hard even when the kids are balanced.   

amtaka

  Hang in there! 

YaraC

Thanks all. It's 7:15 and he is in the middle of meltdown number 1.  He's been here since 6:45. sigh

fiazo

I'm not looking forward to the teens. I pray to God that DD never goes through the "I hate you" stage. Sorry you have to deal with it. It must be difficult especially if you feel out of line to reprimand him yet want to so badly.

ateytelb

I can imagine what you are going through. My oldest was 16 when my then SO and now H moved in together, and she has lived with us the whole time! We have been through all kinds of tantrums and meltdowns, and she is still doing them occassionally at 21! She is now away in college, but when she comes home for her breaks life still gets more stressful. Not sure how H puts up with all that. Boys aew easier than girls though, hopefully things with your DSS improve soon.