Overwhelmed with Day Care Options-pls help!

MarxieVonTrapp

Hi!  I'm new to this board, but live in Alexandria and work in DC.  I'm about 6 weeks pregnant with my first child (totally crazy for me to say that!). 

I have started to research day care options for the baby since I've been told to start early and I'm really overwhelmed.  I've seen that spreadsheet which is very helpful (thank you!) as a starting point, but how do you determine the cost difference between nannies and day care?  I can't seem to find a recent nanny cost anywhere--and I've heard between $15 and $20, which is a pretty significant difference over the course of a year.  There don't seem to be many day care centers that take 6-week-olds but I don't have a ton of maternity leave.  I don't have any working mom friends--they're all SAHMs and aren't able to give me any thoughts on day care centers.  Am I starting too early?  How can I narrow down my choices?  Do you have any advice for me?  Thanks. 

amh_navyblue

First of all, congratulations!!! It's such an exciting (and overwhelming) time.

Second of all, you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed and I am sure that the ladies on this board can give you plenty of perspectives on your day care options.  Here's mine:

We have done in home daycare for both of our daughters, mainly for the flexibility it provides (no year long wait lists and often flexibility when it comes to drop off and pick up) and the lower cost (generally speaking) than centers or nannies.  In terms of timing, the great thing about in home daycares is that you don't have to know NOW, in fact, it's more likely that you won't make a final choice until after the baby is born since many of them don't know their availability until 1-2 months ahead. But it doesn't hurt to check out the options in your area and narrow down your choices now.  The other thing I like about the in home care is that it feels more personalized and, well, "homey." The downside, of course is if your provider is sick or traveling, you have to find someone else, whereas with a center that is rarely a problem.

In terms of leave, I would try to see if you can do at least 8 weeks.  Obviously longer is better, but I think 6 weeks might be really hard, especially with your first.  In my experience, that first 4-6 weeks is pretty intense and I think you'll benefit from having just a couple of more weeks to get back in the groove.  I was at home mostly with my first for most her of first year, but I went back at 8 weeks with #2 because I had started the job while I was pregnant and had NO leave whatsoever saved up.  The 8 weeks of no pay was not fun, but it wasn't too hard to budget for.  Those extra two weeks might also open up options for you in day care as well, regardless of which option you choose.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful and didn't add to your feelings of being overwhelmed--good luck!

 

MarxieVonTrapp

Thank you--this is very helpful and makes me know that I'm not totally crazy for thinking about options now.  It seems that day care is cheaper than a nanny but we'd have to find a nanny who would be willing to walk a dog, too. 

I do get lots of vacation time--I think 5 or 6 weeks total for 2011-2012 fiscal year, so I will save some time up to make sure I can have some additioanl time.  Thank you!

BabyHatch

Congrats and a healthy and happy 9 months to you!

Starting early is better, especially if you want an in-home or daycare center since there tend to be wait lists around this area. We had a nanny share (from 4 months-17 months old) with another family and it worked out really well for us. It cuts the cost a bit but still allows for more one on one care if that's what you're looking for. Nanny shares tend to get set up closer to your return to work date but it can still take some time to interview the nannys AND the family to make sure its a good fit.

Good luck!

Artslvr

amh_navyblue:

First of all, congratulations!!! It's such an exciting (and overwhelming) time.

Second of all, you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed and I am sure that the ladies on this board can give you plenty of perspectives on your day care options.  Here's mine:

We have done in home daycare for both of our daughters, mainly for the flexibility it provides (no year long wait lists and often flexibility when it comes to drop off and pick up) and the lower cost (generally speaking) than centers or nannies.  In terms of timing, the great thing about in home daycares is that you don't have to know NOW, in fact, it's more likely that you won't make a final choice until after the baby is born since many of them don't know their availability until 1-2 months ahead. But it doesn't hurt to check out the options in your area and narrow down your choices now.  The other thing I like about the in home care is that it feels more personalized and, well, "homey." The downside, of course is if your provider is sick or traveling, you have to find someone else, whereas with a center that is rarely a problem.

In terms of leave, I would try to see if you can do at least 8 weeks.  Obviously longer is better, but I think 6 weeks might be really hard, especially with your first.  In my experience, that first 4-6 weeks is pretty intense and I think you'll benefit from having just a couple of more weeks to get back in the groove.  I was at home mostly with my first for most her of first year, but I went back at 8 weeks with #2 because I had started the job while I was pregnant and had NO leave whatsoever saved up.  The 8 weeks of no pay was not fun, but it wasn't too hard to budget for.  Those extra two weeks might also open up options for you in day care as well, regardless of which option you choose.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful and didn't add to your feelings of being overwhelmed--good luck!

 

Ditto ALL of this.  All of it.  Good advice.

slukd79

Just hear to confirm: yes, this can be the most stressful part about having a baby. (Well it was for me.)

First, Congrats! It is so exciting to pregnant with your first baby!

Second, you are starting early and that will help you have lots of options.

Next, consider all your options and decide what feels best to you (eventually.) I initially was wanting an in home daycare and (really long story short) we went with a center that I now think is the perfect fit for my LO. Since the waitlist was long, we ended up doing a short term nanny for about 7 weeks until her spot opened up. But some babies thrive with nannies and others in in homes!

I took 14 weeks of leave and wanted about a couple of more and think that would have been perfect for me. Everyone is different. I also stressed about our financial situation. But I had short term disability and saved so much during my pregnancy that we ended up paying off our cars during my maternity leave. (I guess I went a little overboard...)

Good luck. I used to hate the saying, everything will work itself out, but truly it does.

mommmyz

slukd79:

Good luck. I used to hate the saying, everything will work itself out, but truly it does.

I totally agree! I am very Type A, wanted everything perfectly planned out...thought I wanted a center, ended up with an in-home...just keep your options open, and you will find what fits best with you. We were lucky that we found a home option that let us save our spot almost 8 months before we needed it...rare, but she knew kids were going to preschool, etc...so it worked out. 

Also, as far as leave...it too will work out. I took 14 weeks and would not have done well with less...a friend of mine took 6 and was so happy to be back at work and has no regrets about it. 

Congratulations and good luck! This board is a great place to come for questions and support!

CounselorGirl

Congratulations! 

 You have already received some great advice and honestly, with your early start you have time to sort through your options and do your research.  For any center you are considering look up reviews and check out their licensing info.  That will help you narrow down your search rather quickly. 

 We went with a home daycare for our daughter for her first year. It was the right decision for us in that we wanted a smaller setting that was more home like.  Our provider was amazing and I knew when I met her she was the right choice. It really does work itself out.  Take a deep breath, look at your options, ask questions and talk to other parents. You will find the best solution for you and your little one.

 Good luck!

MarxieVonTrapp

Thank you all--in theory I know it'll all work out, but there is so much information out there and so many options.  Thanks, ladies.  I appreciate your advice and guidance.