Major bad behavior this week (long)

lizloo85

I have posted before about having a difficult time with my DD. She goes through phases, she will test me for a whole week and then finally she will go back to her normal self. By test, I mean she will not obey a single thing I ask of her. She will tell me no and refuse to listen. 

In school they are graded daily for behavior: sticker for no issues, smiley face for 1 issue, straight face, sad face. She will usually get maybe 3 smiley faces a month and have stickers for the rest. Earlier in the year she had a bad week at the after school program. We were told daily that she wasn't listening, running, throwing sand.... this lasted for 1 week and they have had no issues since.

Tuesday she got a straight face for bringing a little note pad to school and having it out during rug time, and then for pretending her lunch box is a gun with another girl who was also doing it.

Wednesday: smiley face for playing with another girl's hair when repeatedly asked to stop.   

Thursday: straight face for running when repeatedly asked to stop, then kicking a boy at the table. The teacher actually wrote me a note explaining that at first Lori lied about why she kicked him; she said he kicked her first but then she admitted that he didn't. This also resulted in a formal minor form being filled out and signed by the teacher. 

Oh, also on Tuesday she PEED herself at school. She did it b/c she didn't want to miss out on computer time so she waited until she couldn't hold it anymore.

We talk to her everyday about her behavior, if she got a sticker we give her a high five, tell her good job. If she gets a smiley we ask her if she knows why and talk about what happened. Most of the time she gets in trouble it is b/c she isn't keeping her hands to herself.

I'm embarrassed by her behavior and am frustrated that she isn't doing better. On Tuesday we talked about what happened and for the first time ever she apologized without me teller her to. I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to say and she went on and said she was sorry for each specific thing she did, said she was going to do better, and said "i'm gonna get you home a sticker mom!" so proud and happy. But it just got worse. 

She had her TV taken out of her room, and yesterday was sent to bed right after dinner. She says that's boring and she wants to come out, knows what she needs to do. This morning in the car she said "I just can't help it. I'm trying to do star behavior but it's hard"

Sorry this got so long! I just really want her to realize that she is in control of her behavior and needs to do better. ugh! 

ValAndRyan

What your daughter said is exactly what my son says. I don't know what gets into him sometimes. He will have his days where he will talk and act up in school. We started talking to the school counselor and trying to get it under control. Have you tried the counselor? Oh, I also give my son one of those stress balls to use during the day when he feels like he is about to act out. Not sure if it's helped too much but it's an idea.

shouldbworkin

We have some similar issues, but DS is being evaluated for ADHD.  A lot of it also seems beyond his control.  He wants to do well, but cannot control his impulses at times.  And then other days/weeks he's just great.

we have a reward system at home and I reward for good weeks at school.  I don't take away the rewards he's earned though.  I figure that this is school behavior and my job is to reinforce at home, but not punish.  I do give him and earlier bed time and limit TV if it seems to be affecting his behavior.  This week was so bad that he's only watching about 30-60 mins of TV a day now and his attitude has greatly improved.  I don't do it as punishment as much as I think that he needs extra sleep or that TV is negatively affecting him. 

lizloo85

ValAndRyan:

What your daughter said is exactly what my son says. I don't know what gets into him sometimes. He will have his days where he will talk and act up in school. We started talking to the school counselor and trying to get it under control. Have you tried the counselor? Oh, I also give my son one of those stress balls to use during the day when he feels like he is about to act out. Not sure if it's helped too much but it's an idea.

 

what a great idea! I didn't even think of that. She did get a sticker today (thank God)!! I will keep that in mind if she does this again.  

lizloo85

shouldbworkin:

He wants to do well, but cannot control his impulses at times.  And then other days/weeks he's just great.

 

She gets so carried away with playing. She is so rough and knows she isn't supposed to put her hands/ feet on others but just gets carried away in the moment.

Joenali

lizloo85:

shouldbworkin:

He wants to do well, but cannot control his impulses at times.  And then other days/weeks he's just great.

 

She gets so carried away with playing. She is so rough and knows she isn't supposed to put her hands/ feet on others but just gets carried away in the moment.

There is a great book called "personal space camp". All about dealing with personal space and why it's important to respect others personal space. I highly recommend it.