HELP ADVICE PLEASE

caitdana

I dont know what to do. DH and I have rented a house since we got married. It is a tiny house. Our lease was up in December. Our families think that we should move so that we can have room for our expanding family, a cleaner start, etc. But because of the girls being in the NICU and heart surgery and just stress in general things have not been ideal for moving. I have however found a house. DH doesnt want to move now.  It is 3 times the size for the same price. We have room for family to come stay to help us with the girls finally. DH  is so mad at my family for pushing us and getting up in our business. I agree it is bad timing. So now I have my DH mad at me for "taking my families side (which is also includes his family)" and then my family is mad at DH for not taking care of his family and doing what is best to provide for us. Sophia is supposed to be coming home in the morning and now we cant even be in the same room with out feeling tense.  I am mad that everyone is putting me in the middle and it is taking away from my joyous home coming after 11 weeks of NICU time, having to deal with leaving Ella behind and now the drama in my family. I love my husband and this has been hard on us but what can I do?

becketts

That's a hard decision to make, particularly when you're still in the middle of NICU stress!  My first thought is that I can't imagine moving when you're first bringing home a baby, particularly a preemie whose sister will be coming home before too long.  However, if you have a ton of family help (like they'll do the moving while you care for the girls), it would be hard to pass up a great deal on a house.  Hopefully you and your DH can get some alone time to talk more.  GL!

ps - Your girls are just beautiful!

OscarQ

While that sounds like a great deal on the house, I'm not sure it is worth the stress on yourself or on your marriage.  If it were me, I'd gamble that another opportunity will come along and tell my family to back off.  I've actually had to tell my family to back off and give DH some space - my family is local whereas his is three hours away so he can get overwhelmed by it all.

Good luck bringing Sophia home! 

lemen99

You've been under a lot of stress.  The NICU is really hard.  While you may be able to handle that and moving, it sounds like your DH can't and I can't blame him.

My advice is that you respect that decision and wait until you are both ready.  More houses will come on the market.  You'll find another good deal when the dust settles a little.  I expected it to be all rainbows & butterflies when Andrew came home, and don't get me wrong I was so glad he came home healthy, but we had a really, really hard time for a while. There's no way I could have physically moved, or handled that stress.

Be patient.  Come to a decision together. You'll know when it's right.