IM DOING IT!!!

RenandStimpy

Thats it! Im firing my lawyer. Ive had enough. Im done done done!!!!!

 

Tomarrow I have a meeting with her, Im going to explain I feel she is lazy and honestly...I feel like she is fighting for him! And Im tired of it. Im going to ask for the lady that filled in once and was AWESOME. Then Im going to tell her this visitation needs to be changed now! He

 He will not voluntarily do anything that will make my life easier or DD's life better. He has flat out refused every offer the lawyer suggested me send him...hello?? This shouldnt be my job I dont need to communicate with him anymore than absolutely possible.

 And just as you would imagine he is being a complete ASS in his emails....accusing me of pawning DD off on day care because I cant handle her and dont want her around. Yeah.....This is getting to me. Only thing I wrote back is...IM done, return property or im filing for stolen on friday, communicate with you lawyer and get a judgement on whatever you want back, I have my judgement. As for DD, what I do with her on my time is my business.

 

ARGGGGG.

 

Seriously I feel like I got the cracker jack prize of all lawyers.

 

Tomarrow this ends.

 

Im praying visitation is changed before I lose it.

mhwood

Perhaps your lawyer is frustrated because you constantly engage your ex and maybe she believes that regardless of what she does to help you that you will keep it up thus poisoning your chances of getting a judgment in your favour...?

 

 

RenandStimpy

She has had me ask him several different things today in emails...WHO does that? Like thats my job? I had a wonderful peaceful vacation of him NOT emailing me after I told him it was still harassing and that his employer would be interested in what he spends his time doing.

 A whole week of no drama and then I ask her if we can mediate...she says, well try to email him the proposal and see what he says....*sigh* i knew what would happen before it happened.

 Point blank, I want nothing to do with him, I want my new attorney to handle his communication since he is absolutely incapable of handling anything in a reasonable way.

GSDlover

What are you asking to have happen? Because if I was him...I wouldn't sign anything that would reduce my time either.

Ilumine

Here is the thing - instead of firing her (isn't she your second lawyer from the free aid socieity), you need to contact her boss and discuss your issues.

Actually, you need to calmly discuss your issues with her questionable actions WITH HER FIRST.  I am not trying to be mean but THAT is a sign of an adult.  Stomping your feet, grabbing the ball and running home because you didn't like how the other kids were playing is not.

And I DO GET that she should be the one interacting with your Ex's Lawyer.  

But YOU should have said NO when she asked.  YOU should have told her that it was HER job to do so and then asked why SHE was delegating HER responsibility back on you.  Basically, all you needed to do was tell her to do her job (politely of course)

But you didn't and it blew up in your face.  So you are AS much to blame as she is.

So call her and get an explanation of her actions, specifically why she asked YOU to contact him when it was her job.  THEN, if she does not rectify the situation, you contact her boss to complain and see if he/she can get this straightend up. 

Because (here it the kicker) if you get a new lawyer one of two things happens.

1) YOU get a continuance and your case gets pushed back even further, while you find a new lawyer and he/she gets up to speed - meaning this stress will go on longer or

2) You DON"T get a continuance and you either do not have a new one when you need him/her or he/she is not up to speed and screws up your case.

Either way - you are screwing YOURSELF  .

hindsight's_a_biotch

I really don't understand why you keep sabotaging yourself. You have anger issues and you get easily frustrated. Plus you show a complete failure to grasp the ins and outs of the legal system.

Stop engaging him and stop flying off the handle every time he pulls something he's pulled before. He's not coming up with new sh!t. It's the same old crap over and over again and yet you have raging hissy fits each time. And if you can't take it out on him, you take it out on the lawyer, then you get vindictive.

I'm really at a loss as to why you can't manage to let things go, keep your mouth shut and let this finish it's course. You took up with a assmonkey and it's going to take time to extricate yourself from this mess. And bottom line, he still has rights, including and up to questioning your motives for putting your child in day care. Just a simple I'm sorry you feel that way should have sufficed.

I'm really trying not to run you down here but I just don't get why you don't understand the basic simple truth human interaction . . . You cannot change anyone. You can only change how you react to them. So knock it the hell off and stop acting like a douchenozzle. I guarandamntee you people, especially your lawyer, will treat you with more respect once you do.

sweetsurrender9

RenandStimpy:

Only thing I wrote back is...IM done, return property or im filing for stolen on friday, communicate with you lawyer and get a judgement on whatever you want back, I have my judgement. As for DD, what I do with her on my time is my business.

Im praying visitation is changed before I lose it.

 First off, don't you think that threatening to file charges for stolen property is just going to make the situation worse?  And truthfully, how good is that going to look to the judge?  It doesn't just make him look like the shmuck that wouldn't give your property back... it makes you look angry and bitter for filing charges.

Secondly, what you do with DD on your time is NOT only your business.  Whether you like it or not, you laid down with this man and had a child with him.  Therefore, he gets a say in what goes on all the time, just like you do.  In our arrangement, we have right of first refusal.  We get to turn down the chance to have SS before his mother can secure other childcare.  A lot of arrangements have that clause, from my understanding.  I'd be very careful about what you say to your ex, because I'm sure you don't want him to mention it to his lawyer, who could very easily go to court for right of first refusal.

 And seriously?  What do you want visitation changed to?  Are you trying to restrict your ex's time with his daughter even more? 

Littlejen22

If it is free aid you are firing I think you are going to wind up in trouble, I agree with contacting her boss.  As for him doing things to make your life easier, obviously there is more to this that just that but if you bring that up in court the judge might actually LOL. 

Zoink2008

Your lawyer is suppose to encourage you guys to mediate amongst yourselves and learn to deal with each other because you're stuck until your child(ren) are adults. You have to talk to him and you have to ignore his "attitude" and deal with it. In time it will get better.

 

p.s. if the lawyer sounds like he/she is on your ex's side then that's probably because whatever your ex is asking is REASONABLE. If you go before a Judge and ask for something unreasonable, you will lose. If you go before a Judge and refuse a REASONABLE request then you will lose.

Basically, listen to your lawyer. You won't always get the answer you want to hear but if you follow the REASONABLE mentality, you'll save yourself thousands in court costs.

xmaryrickx

Wow, Ren, don't you get tired of the drama?
When he emails you-unless it has to do with your DD, ignore it. If it says something stupid, like you pawn DD off on daycare-ignore it. DO NOT ANSWER. If you keep ignoring it, he will either stop because he is not getting under your skin, or he will get really pissed, and act a fool, which would get him in trouble. But you HAVE TO ignore it. That is what it means to stop engaging. If he brings up stupid crap in an email about DD, ignore it. Do not dignify his stupidity with a response.  It only makes you look as bad as him
The definition of insane, is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome-so I ask are you insane???? I don't think so, but I ask mysef the same question when I feel like I am stuck, so the I can figure out what I need to change to move on with my life.
And as for your lawyer, she probably feels the same way a lot of us do. You are perpetuating the situation by reducing yourself to his level, and when you do that you are setting yourself up for failure. Yes as a professional she should have her clients best interests as her number one priority, but how can you expect her to do that when you are allowing this vicious circle to continue? Until you are strong enough to put a stop to the madness yourself-which means you stop with the anger, pettiness, and b.s. it will continue.
Whether or not he is the ass that you make him out to be, IDK. But what I do know is that you are not helping the situation, by engaging wih him.
From personal experience, DH's ex is a nut job. For a long time, years, she would call and scream at DH, she would bring up the most ridiculous things, she would name call, she was hateful, and verbally very abusive. But he would engage her, and let her know that she was getting under his skin. I finally laid down the law here-either you knock it the F-off, or I am done. I will not let this woman control our lives, and make you angry, feel like crap, etc. He stopped, and you know what, she no longer calls us at all. Never. And it is wonderful. His divorce (although finalized 3 years ago) has been going on for 7 years-yes 7 years, and it still continues. I have over 3000 pages of court transripts sitting in my dining room. We have another court date in January. And while, yes this crap is on-going and probably will be for the next 5 years, until SS is 18, we have choosen to end the BS that was her harassment, and idiocy.
You too can make that choice-if you want to.