howleyshell and/or narrative play?

Enza

I remember a conversation about how narrative play helped older children deal with the fact that there was a new baby in the house. It was howleyshell who mentioned this technique being very helpful as a way to play with DS1 while avoiding jealousy and still tending to DS2.

Can anyone explain what this method actually involves? Maybe turn me in the right direction for further research? A quick google search pulls up narrative play therapy, but I haven't had the time to look into it further.

howleyshell

REALLY simple.

Pretend your son's play is a football game and you're the announcer.

Or pretend you have a blind relative who's told you they want to know EVERYTHING he's doing.

No questions or prompting - just say out loud a blow by blow account of what he's doing. 

"Matteo's racing the blue car.  The blue car is going fast!"

"Matteo's getting out his trains.  He's building a cool track."

You'll feel like a total dork.  The book suggests starting out with 30 minutes.  It will seem like FOREVER.

Over time you'll get to where you do it all the time, all day long and don't even realize it.

If nothing else ramp it up right before you know you need to sit down to feed the twins so he's feeling tuned in when you're about to pull physical attention away for a while. 

It helps them feel like you're totally tuned in and "with them" even though it's your words and not you physically playing with them.  

I had very little hope that it would make a difference but it made a big one and fast.

Even today if I notice them acting up I'll realize that I've been busy cooking and haven't taken the time to comment on what they're doing in the family room while I'm in the kitchen.  Just a few "Dylan's reading to Jace on the sofa.  What nice boys" and their tension drops and acting out or not sharing behavior drops right off.

I'm sure if anyone saw me doing it they'd think I'm whack-o.  Who the heck refers to their kids by name like that?  

I do.

Because it works for us. 

GL! 

LIAngel

I'm taking notes on this.   This is good stuff HS.