Would you be mad?

Maddie753

So my friend who I have told everything to since day 1 of trying never called me Sunday night or Monday to ask how my ER went. I would have thought she would have called me Sunday night to wish me luck or Monday to see how it was. NOTHING. Not a text, VM, anything!!

I had to call her Tuesday because it was her daughters bday and I left a message. Only then did she call me back, leaving a VM for me, thanking me for thinking of her daughter and she also said "oh how did your thing go?" then she went on to say "I meant to call you but the kids are sick and once you have kids you will understand days get away from you"

OK I get it she has kids, but dont you think she could have taken 2 seconds to send me a text??? I HATE when people use the "I have kids" excuse on everything. Well I had SURGERY (kinda) and I still called to wish her daughter Happy Birthday.

I havent wanted to call her back because I am mad. This is the girl I have cried to, talked to about everything. Im really hurt.

Do you think I have a right to be mad? Be honest

Mrs. Mo

Ummm, ya. My sister uses the "well I have a daughter" excuse to not do just about everything. I think the worst part of what she said was "once you have kids you will understand days get away from you". It may be me being hormonal but I read that as an "I have kids and you don't. Nannie nannie boo boo" (in a whiney tone)

{{{hugs}}} She sucks.

Blueyezz0530

Dude I would totally be mad and pissed off at here. 1, for not calling when she has known what you have been going through to have a child. 2. The comment she made that she didnt call because the kids were sick, and you will understand when you have kids?

Idk maybe im just being b!tchy today... but jeesh. I cannot stand when people and share what you are going through.. just dont check in, or say how are you... or anything.

Maddie753

Mrs. Mo & Blueyes- thank you!! Im glad you feel the same way. She is constantly saying "when you have kids you will understand" I want to scream. I have gone through hell to have a baby and I STILL wont use that excuse when I have kids. Im so mad, I dont even want her to know when we are transfering or anything like that. I want her to wonder if I am mad. It just shows me that Im really not that important to her.

Blueyes- Love the pic girl, you look great!

Mrs. Mo- I am STILL doing the happy dance over here!! So pumped for you girl

ondjima

Wow, that is one of my biggest pet peeves! Your friend was being a cow. You should of told "Using your kids as an excuse to be a crappy friend seems like your thing."

pinksandbermuda

Yes I would be hurt, too.  Your friend should be there for you and it is kind of lame to use the kids excuse, especially for something like this.  

However,  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I know sometimes days get away from me too.  Not becuase I have kids though     I wouldn't be too hard on her.

Blueyezz0530

Maddie753:

Mrs. Mo & Blueyes- thank you!! Im glad you feel the same way. She is constantly saying "when you have kids you will understand" I want to scream. I have gone through hell to have a baby and I STILL wont use that excuse when I have kids. Im so mad, I dont even want her to know when we are transfering or anything like that. I want her to wonder if I am mad. It just shows me that Im really not that important to her.

Blueyes- Love the pic girl, you look great!

Mrs. Mo- I am STILL doing the happy dance over here!! So pumped for you girl

Thanks girl!!!! And im doing a happy dance for both you you girls!!!!!!!!

:::does the elaine dance::: bow chicka bow bow

heathercara

I would absolutely be hurt...and probably mad as well.  Especially when she had to throw in that "if you had kids" jab.  Not nice at all.  She should have been there for you and I'm sorry she wasn't.  We are though Love, always

Mrs. Mo

blueyes0704:

Maddie753:

Mrs. Mo & Blueyes- thank you!! Im glad you feel the same way. She is constantly saying "when you have kids you will understand" I want to scream. I have gone through hell to have a baby and I STILL wont use that excuse when I have kids. Im so mad, I dont even want her to know when we are transfering or anything like that. I want her to wonder if I am mad. It just shows me that Im really not that important to her.

Blueyes- Love the pic girl, you look great!

Mrs. Mo- I am STILL doing the happy dance over here!! So pumped for you girl

Thanks girl!!!! And im doing a happy dance for both you you girls!!!!!!!!

:::does the elaine dance::: bow chicka bow bow

 Bwhahahahaha !

 

Blueyezz0530

Another thing and I know its b!tchy of me to even think this.. but .. its like you could have not called to wish her daughter happy brithday.. and most likely your friend would have been pissed. And your reason to her would be " I have been going through alot right now with my treatment mentally and physically..which obviously you know nothing about nor have gone through. LOL.. ok that was mean

leecrystalwed08

I a m in the same boat (Posted it on the WTF Wed post) This chick has been my BFF since 6th grade...It's always about her though...So stupid!

My feelings are beyond hurt, I will never forget this feeling either. I am so sorry you gotta put up with the same crap.

MrsVo

Yes I would for sure be hurt and probably a little ticked off too.  The "if you had kids you'd understand" was a total line-crosser if you ask me.  Jerk.

Maddie753

blueyes0704:

Another thing and I know its b!tchy of me to even think this.. but .. its like you could have not called to wish her daughter happy brithday.. and most likely your friend would have been pissed. And your reason to her would be " I have been going through alot right now with my treatment mentally and physically..which obviously you know nothing about nor have gone through. LOL.. ok that was mean

Seriously, I thought for a second to not call for the daughters bday but I then remembered Im not like that. I wasnt going to act like a jerk even if she was!!!

Maddie753

Thanks Ladies!!

MrsLoos

((Hugs)) sorry she upset you.

I wouldn't be mad that she didn't call or text on ER day. I don't think people know how to handle IF stuff and what's appropriate and what's not. I do think it was insensitive for her to pull the "you'll understand when you have kids card". That would definitely hurt my feelings and make me mad.

jiffy-pop

I can understand that it would hurt for someone that knows all about you to act like they don't care or that you're not important. ((HUGS)) Maybe you could mention to her that it kind of hurt your feelings to not get a call from your BF during such an important procedure.

Maddie753

heathercara:

I would absolutely be hurt...and probably mad as well.  Especially when she had to throw in that "if you had kids" jab.  Not nice at all.  She should have been there for you and I'm sorry she wasn't.  We are though Love, always

Thank you so much Heather! This means alot

99luftballoons

**Papps**:

I would be slightly upset that she didn't call, I understand sh!t happens, but I think the "you'll understand once you have kids" comment would make me even more upset

This 100%.  Especially the fact that she knows about your struggles.

My #1 pet peeve is people who say "you'll understand when..."  It just makes me insane.  I find it so condescending and above it all. People used to do it to us before we got married- oh, just wait until you get married, you won't feel that way. Blah blah blah.  You know what?  Our relationship didn't change when we got married, so they were wrong.  And I won't be too busy to be a decent friend when I have kids, because ALL of us are busy, but my friends who have kids don't use it as an excuse not to shoot me an email or text to check on how I am doing.

 Sorry she did that, it was pretty shittty of her.

renee3n2008

I have two close friends and a cousin that know what we are going through. Sigh.... they all have kids. Sometimes they remember and other times they forget and it upsets me every time they don't call or at least ask the next time they see me. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

apaige25

Yes you have every reason to be mad.  I have a really good friend that just had a baby in December.  I will be mad if she doens't call or text when I have my ER/ET next month.