Weekend Anxiety

MandaS08

This weekend DH and I are going to a cabin in the mountains with two other couples.  A little background-both of the guys are best friends with my husband and I've gotten to be rather close friends with the girls over the past years.  One in particular I've been really close with and after our loss she was rather unsympathetic and I told her so, and thought the situation was resolved. 

Well, over New Year's we were all hanging out and drinking, she got drunk and told me that she felt like I should be over the m/c by now-that I only knew I was pregnant for a little over a week and months later should be over it.  I am not sure what possessed her to make that declaration and I told her that she has never been there and can't fully understand the entire situation (not only the loss, but having to TTA, ect).  The next day she called me saying she felt awlful, that she was so sorry, ect.

This weekend will be the first time I'll be seeing her since then, and we're spending the whole weekend together! While I appreciate her apology and want to let it go I am having a hard time.  Even though she is sorry and realizes she never should have said it, she still meant what she said at the time and that hurts, and frankly I am still angry about it.  To make things worse they "aren't trying but not preventing" and I am sure any day now she's going to annouce she's pregnant (so that is making me anxious too) I'm not sure how to handle it this weekend?  (if you made it this far-thanks for reading!)

Tapatio

What is that saying? "Drunk words are sober thoughts." I'm glad your friend apologized but that doesn't erase what she said. I hold grudges like my life depends on it so I can't help you in the "forgiving dept." I think if it's still bothering you it's because there is still an unresolved issue. Would you be willing to talk to her again this weekend? That way you can explain why it's been so hard for you to "move on" like she thinks you should. I'm sorry you have to deal with that awkwardness. I think what she told you that night was tacky and just mean...I don't care if she was drunk! ((big hugs)) You are a much better person than I am

ETA: spelling

hopefulelise

I would be anxious too! I hate it when people say such insensitive comments. I hope your weekend goes well and she doesn't say anything rude all weekend. Hopefully she learned her lesson the last time!

Deepak&Derek

I can understand why the comment your friend made is still bothering you.  Some people say really stupid stuff when they get drunk and forget about it (it is good she appologized) and don't realize how much they have hurt the person's feelings. If I were you, I wouldn't thinking too much about this because you deserve a nice weekend get away!  There are times when I am hesitant to see my friends, but surprising have a lot of fun when I do get together.  I hope that everything goes well for you this weekend.  Are you testing before you go on your lil trip?  Hope you get a BFP!

julesjb

Ugh I'm so sorry, I wouldn't be able to forget that either. I was wondering the same as PP, will you test before you go???

Izabella22

Yeah I can't help you with the forgiving and forgetting either, those sort of words sting deep and stick for me and I lost my best friend because she said a similar thing. You've got every right to be leery and nervous about the weekend, I think you'd be well within reason to say to her that  you are having a hard time letting go fo what she said, and if she can't be sympathetic and supportive of the fact that its been tough for you, then you would prefer not to discuss it at all. Or you could educate her but... meh. That isn't much fun for a weekend away.

I hope she keeps her yap shut and you can enjoy a relaxing weekend away!

Kristipie

I'm sorry you're going through this and I would be anxious as well.  I'm glad she apologized and hopefully she's had a chance to sit back and think about what you've said to her and realized that she can't understand what you are going through. Hopefully she has grown as a person and maybe some time together will allow you to forgive her and for her to prove that she really is sorry and has matured a bit. 

If you can I'd try to stay positive and maybe by hanging out together you will be able to remember the good things about her, what you enjoy about her as a friend and that will help you move past being angry?  And if she's still being a complete jerk then you'll know that you have given her every chance and she's just not the friend you thought she was, but that you've been the bigger person.

MandaS08

Kristie pie-thats a good point.  Maybe b/c I haven't seen her its making it harder to let go b/c the last thing I remember her saying was something so hurtful.

And Deepak and Jules-I am definitely testing before I go and while I'm there! I totally have a fascination with peeing on things-and patience is not one of my strong suites!

nikki04vb

Drunk or not she should have kept that comment to herself.  I'm sure she realizes that now, but still.  I don't know why she would even be concerned with when you get over your m/c.  If you haven't been there, you don't know.

Kristipie

MandaS08:

Kristie pie-thats a good point.  Maybe b/c I haven't seen her its making it harder to let go b/c the last thing I remember her saying was something so hurtful.

And Deepak and Jules-I am definitely testing before I go and while I'm there! I totally have a fascination with peeing on things-and patience is not one of my strong suites!

FX for you that you will have fantastic news when you POAS! 

And if she says anything hurtful again - I'd be the first one to say dump her a$$ as a friend! But I'm really hoping that she's realized she was a total jerkface.

jertie

I'm sorry she said that to you.  People are stupid sometimes.  They do not understand what you're feeling and what it's like when a dream dies.  Not to mention having to go through it physically. 

I also hold grudges - but she gets points for actually sucking it up and calling you the next day and apologizing - that really does take a lot of guts.  I still wouldn't be happy with her.  If it makes you feel any better, she might be feeling equally squirmy about seeing you after what she said.  GL on the testing and the weekend!