Anyone's DH travel?

EmmyS27

Hi ladies,

I usually don't post much, but needed some advice.  My DH travels for work for a week at a time, about once a month.  I think my DD is just starting to "get it" that he's gone and it makes me so sad!  This morning I went to pick her up from her crib and she was saying da da da and looking all around for DH, who usually gets her in the morning.  We tried talking on Skype, but it's hard when he's on the West Coast and DD goes to bed around 7.

So my question... does anyone else have a DH that travels a lot and do you have any suggestions for how to make it easier on the little one?  I'm just feeling so depressed this week, especially because she has a cold and that makes being home alone even harder.  Any words of wisdom would be really appreciated!  TIA! 

jallen76

My DH travels.  Some months it is a lot, and some months it isn't much.  He will go on a lot of over night trips and about every 3 months he will go for a week or so.  Europe.  China. 

It is hard all the way around.  It was much harder when the kids were littler.  Now that they are getting older it is a bit better, but they still miss him.

When they were younger, sometimes phone calls made them miss him even more and so I would just talk. 

Having a big calandar helps.  Showing DD when DH would be home and counting down the days.

I just let things go a bit when DH is gone.  I don't keep things up so much.  I try to cook easy meals or even go out to eat once. I focus my time mostly on the kids.  We do special things that I normally wouldn't do when daddy was home.  Now, when he is gone, they ask "what are we going to do that is "special." Make it special time for them. 

Drink a glass of wine or two. 

My husband has an iphone with the face time on it.  That doesn't help because I don't have an iphone, but that might be an expensive option.

Good luck.

JCM

Hi!  I live in Prosper so not too far from you at all!

My DH travels most weeks & is gone for a minimum of 2 nights per week.  It is hard but it's something you & DD will get used to.  The only suggestion I have for you is to go ahead & get up with her when you can so it's not usually only DH going in there in the mornings.  DH used to put DD to bed every night when he was home & it got to be an issue when he wasn't here so I started putting her to bed at night. It has helped a ton.  & for you being at home alone, you should join a mom's group so you have someone to talk to and hang out with when you DH is out of town.

Here is a website for Meetup.com with a few groups:

https://www.meetup.com/find/?keywords=2010+babies&mcId=z75078&mcName=&lat=&lon=&userFreeform=Prosper,+Texas,+USA&gcResults=&op=search&events=&submitButton=Search 

I'm on a Mac so I can't make it clicky. GL! 

adri77

DH doesn't travel, but he works so much he might as well!  He really doesn't see the kids M-F...a little bit in the morning.  DS1 started having a really hard time with this over the summer.  He missed him soooo much and wouldn't go to bed b/c he was waiting up to see him.  I taped DH reading to them on the weekends and showed them this, had him make good night phone calls, let him sleep with his picture etc.....it's hard when they miss them so much and just don't get it

tabi_ja

When my hubby travels, it upsets Miles quite a bit, too.  I just keep to our routine/schedule as much as possible, and try to act like nothing's wrong.  Kids totally tune into your emotions, so if you're stressed about your DH being gone, they will be, too.  I wait until after he's in bed before I fall apart.

When Miles asks for Daddy, I just tell him "Daddy's at work," same as I do when he asks for him during a normal day.  Sometimes, he gets a little distressed, but usually, he just goes back to playing.

And when DH is home, we trade off on bedtime and wake-up duty.  Some weeks, I'll do both everyday.  Other weeks, DH does both everyday, and other times, we just trade off.  It makes it easier when DH is gone, because Miles isn't necessarily expecting him at a specific time of day. 

flbeachcouple

We break routine when daddy's home (but not nap and bedtime) . I know this doesn't work for all families but it does for us. DH is an airline pilot so travel will always be apart of our lives.We Skype and most telephone conversations are on speakerphone so DS can hear his voice.Personally, I think it is harder on DH than DS.

brownie123

flbeachcouple:

We break routine when daddy's home (but not nap and bedtime) . I know this doesn't work for all families but it does for us. DH is an airline pilot so travel will always be apart of our lives.We Skype and most telephone conversations are on speakerphone so DS can hear his voice.Personally, I think it is harder on DH than DS.

DH works 2 weeks on/1 week off (home).  We're used to it, but it's part of our bedtime routine that when daddy is working we get to talk to him on the computer after bathtime.  We talk during the day sometimes, too, always on speakerphone as well.  It's hard at times, but it's a great job with great pay - and it also allows me to SAH!  So I can't complain.  But we talk about daddy lots during the day, make crafts for him, etc.

J&A2008

We talk about missing him a lot, and where he is and what he's doing.  We count down the days until he gets home.  We talk about what we'll do with daddy once he's home. 

EmmyS27

Thank you all so much for all the great advice!  It's a really good point that DH and I should probably be switching off who gets DD in the morning when he's here, so it's not such a letdown when I come in in the mornings  I know at this point it's much harder on me than on DD, so the main thing is probably to keep a positive attitude.  It doesn't help that I'm also pregnant and hormonal, but thankfully, that won't last forever  It's good to know that you guys are going through the same situation.  Thank you!

charlaNIKol

DH is a freight train engineer, so he's gone 2-3 days, home 8-10 hours on average.  It's really hard on all of us.  DS has gotten much better with it, but there were months it was BAD.  DS wouldn't eat or sleep, he just wanted daddy.  There are times that DH won't see DS for weeks at a time because the 8-10 hours he's home are while DS is asleep.  We try to keep DS's schedule the same for sleeping, and when DH is home we take turns getting up with him so DS doesn't learn to expect daddy to get up with him.  What's really hard for DS is when DH puts him down for bed at night, then isn't here when DH wakes in the morning.  The last 3-4 months, DS has been waking every 2-3 hours to check and see if daddy is still home.  I wish I had some advice, but I honestly don't.  We just keep trying different things to see what, if anything, will help.  When daddy is gone a lot, we try to do extra special, fun things.  There are times it's REALLY hard on DH because DS seems resentful that DH is gone so much.  So sometimes when DH is home, DS won't have anything to do with him.  Screams bloody murder if DH tries to hug, kiss, even play with him.  This part has gotten better lately, but it's still hard.  I think it'll always be hard honestly.  But he has a good, stable job with great benefits and retirement.  If it wasn't for all of that, I wouldn't be able to SAH.  However, since I'm alone so much of the time w/a 2 1/2 year old and 35 weeks pregnant, not much is getting done around the house.  It's a wreck, and I'm too tired to do anything about it.  I don't know if this helps, but you aren't alone.