Leaving 1 twin in the NICU...

caitdana

I think Sophia will really get to come home this week. They have told us she was for the past 3 weeks but she did her countdown and that was done yesterday, car seat test was passed last night, and today I am "rooming in".  I knew that this was going to happen but I did not know how sad it would make me to leave Ella by herself. She has had a lot of set backs. She coded Saturday and now they are checking for NEC with xrays every few hours. Anyway she is not out of her isolette, not eating this week, and still on her cannula. They have said it will be a little more than a month that she will need to stay. How am I going to do it? Any tips, hints or advice?

wishesforfish

DD spent 58 days in the hospital. DS spent 300 days (or 291 according to the hospital bill but I really thought it was 300). 

How did I do it? Kinda just put one foot in front of the other most of the time. In the beginning I soaked in all the good feelings from having DD home, took time getting used to having her around, learning her quirks. It was comforting to do normal baby things after the NICU. I also had help, people who took care of DD while I visited DS in the hospital.

Taking "me time" helped alot. I usually did something for myself once a week, after visiting DS. Coffee, shopping, that kinda thing.

Mostly I took comfort in the fact that DS was getting medical care that I couldn't provide. That he was in the place that was best for him at the moment. Now that both of mine are home, I would tell you to appreciate your twin at home more, enjoy the sleeping baby on your chest and relish that one on one time before chaos descends.

Hang in there, momma. 

shellshavintwins

I don't have any advice for you but I want you to know that your girls are amazing and you are doing a great job. I looked at your caring bridge the other day and the family picture is awesome.

smeyer

Leaving DS in NICU was one of the hardest things we had to do.  He was only there for an extra 4 days but it felt like an eternity.  We took shifts.  I sent DH back to work and told him to take his time off when we had both babies at home.  I would spend my days at home with DD.  In the evening, I would go to the NICU to spend time with DS.  DH would visit DS before work or at lunch.  Our NICU would have allowed us to bring DD back in for visits but, since we were going individually, we weren't comfortable with DD in her carseat without someone next to her (she was a little under 5 lb when she was released).  As the pp said, take it one day at a time.  You'll get thru it.  I was constantly reminding myself that DS was where he should be, that he was getting the care and attention that he needed.  Still... it sucked.  

Haven1

That's wonderful that one gets to come home!  Yay little one!  Enjoy it.  It's a very big day.

On the other hand, it's okay to feel sad.  DS1 had to stay in the NICU for 3 more days and I broke down.  Your situation must be heartbreaking.  My suggestion would be to get into a routine.  Things will change if someone needs you more some days, but it will be helpful for everyone if you have a schedule of where you go when.  And yes, be sure to build in some "you" time.  The NICU can be draining, and you need it.

Very best wishes. 

Natalie_may

I don't have any advice for you because my boys are no where near ready to come home but I did want to say congratulations on Sophia coming home! I was thinking about your recent troubles yesterday ( I'm not a creepy stalker I swear!), as there is the possibility that Liam has NEC as well as his brother (seriously love the timing this boy has, coded right as I walked through the door) I hope you get to bring Ella home soon as well and that if it is NEC the antibiotics knock it out.

. You have done such a great job being there for your girls so far, you will be able to make this work as well! T&P to you and your family.

tSquared1987

I feel for you Momma. I was just in that same position last month. Taylen came home 10 days before Tage did. I was more sad that day than I was the day I was discharged from the hospital. I felt like I was just leaving him there all alone. That was so tough.

But, being a first time mom, there was an upside to having just one home first. I felt like I could get used to the routine with just one and kind of get the hang of things. By the time Tage came home, I felt like a pro.

Like pp said, just put one foot in front of the other. Take it minute by minute, and you'll be okay.

Congrats on having one coming home! I hope that Ella comes home shortly

JanuaryBride2007

K came home 2 months after R did. Yeah, it was rough but as a pp said, you just put one foot in front of the other. Take time to get to know Sophia and once Ella comes home you will only have 1 baby's quirks to figure out. That's how I thought of it and it did help. It was nice to already have one baby on a schedule and then just add K into the mix once she got home.

Hope Ella turns a corner soon and starts feeling better and stronger so she came come home soon.

((HUGS))

caitdana

Thanks so much ladies! I cannot tell you how much support I have gotten from you guys! I guess I have never really thought of how I made it 11 weeks so far. I did it because I had to and there is no other choice but to keep going. I will do the same thing. I cannot thank you ladies enough!