One of my friends who has 3 month old twin boys, keeps telling me that I must let my babies sleep in the nursery at the hospital, and that I should make my husband go home each night. Her reasoning so we can both get as much sleep as possible. I'm just wondering how many of you kept you babies in the room with you at the hospital and how many made use of the nursery in the hospital. What were your opinions of how this went (whichever way you did it)?
At this point, I will most likely have a scheduled C-section. As long as the babies are healthy enough to stay with me, that is what I am leaning toward. I am leaning this way because I want to try to exclusively breast feed my babies, and I figure this will be most easily done if the babies are in my room. I also realize that this is my first time to have a baby so I am ope to hearing everyone's ideas about this.
TIA
Re: Babies in room with you at hospital
Emerson was full term and stayed in the nursery. My H went home every night.
The twins were in the NICU and my H went home every night.
The hospital is a terrible place to try to sleep. If you guys live close to the hospital I would tell him to go home and get good sleep. You do want him well rested when you all come home.
Along the same lines, you want to be as rested as possible after you have your section so you can be a good mom to your babies. The nurses will bring you the babies when they need to be fed.
You will have them right there with you for the next six to eight months if you want them there or not.
Your friend is giving you awesome advice.
We did let our babies go to the nursery for a couple hours each night we were in the hospital. The floor was pretty empty while we were in the hospital and we had the same nurse each night who was really sweet with the babies so I felt better about it. I did BF my girls and the nurse was very good about bringing the girls back on schedule or if they were ready to eat. I think you need to do whatever you're most comfortable with. In my opinion, with the uncomfortable beds and vital checks, etc., you don't get to sleep well in the hospital either way
If you end up with a c section I wouldn't send your husband home. It takes a while to get moving well and dealing with two babies isn't the easiest by yourself. Obviously you'll have help of nurses if you need them. I just felt more comfortable with my husband at the hospital.
We lived over an hour away from the hospital, so DH going home to sleep was not an option.
We had the babies in the room with us during the day until about midnight and then I sent them to the nursery. The nurses brought them to me when they needed to eat. I think it was the best choice I could have made. I'm not sure I would have gotten any sleep otherwise, every noise they made kept me up.
You might as well see how you both feel at the time. If your DH packs things as if he will be staying with you, you can always change your mind and let him go home to sleep.
I only had one the first time, but I wouldn't have been able to send him to the nursery. I couldn't let him out of my sight. DH stayed with me because I needed the help.
The second night, he was under bili lights and we were both exhausted, so my Mom came and soothed him under the lights (he'd fuss about the shade things.) So we got some sleep then.
I probably still won't send them to the nursery this time. After 10 minutes in the NICU, they had given DS a pacifier dipped in sugarwater, which I never would have OKd (I was filling out paperwork) Once he was there, it SUCKED having to just come visit and sit on an uncomfortable stool the whole time (stitches and all). I'd rather just have them near me rather than worry about what's happening in the nursery.
sending them to the nursery was the best advice I got. Just a couple hours of sleep between feedings was definitely needed. they brought them to me throughout the night when they had to eat. I had my DH stay the whole time. It was very helpful to have him there to help with the feedings and diaper changes. It would've been too hard for me by myself after a c-section.
Even with the babies in the nursery, the nurses still do come in for vital checks and wake you up too. You would think they would get that we have to be up every two hours anyways and come and do them at that time, but no, it was always 20 minutes after I fell asleep and someone would want to check me. It was so annoying! So get whatever sleep you can!
We sent them to nursery every night. We have a pug dog so someone had to be with him at night, so DH would stay at hospital til about 10pm then take them to nursery and then in morning I would get them.
Although first day after they were born I was still on Magnesium from Pre-e after delivery, so they wouldnt let me keep them the first day alone anyway as I could not get out of bed. But the day after I still had them in nursery at night.
I had mine in the room as much as possible trying to be a brave little new momma. They took Aiden for phototherapy for several hours so it was just me and logan for a night. By the next day I felt like I was going to croak I was so tired. I sent my husband home because he didn't help much anyways. Well the nurse finally came in after my IL's showed up for a looooong visit, told me she was taking Logan to the nursery and I was ordered to sleep. I slept for four hours and was sooooo mad i didn't have them take them sooner! I would go with what you feel. If you want your babies keep them with you, and when you get tired have them take them. Trust me, don't be a hero.
Oh, and as a side note, don't feel bad if you don't want visitors. I told everyone no one was to visit until after we got home. Not everyone listened and I was so exhausted because of that.
i went full term- the babies stayed in the nursery all night. I was attempting to nurse a little-but not at night
i learned from DS1 - it's soooo smart to have them sleep in the nursery at night. Even if you want to do feedings - have them bring the babies in to you every 3 hours - so inbetween you can sleep better - b/c it's very hard to sleep with babies in the room- they make tons of noises...
and you will have nurses and people coming in all night - so really - your friend is so wise - nursery = smart... you have the next 18 years to have them with you all night
This exactly. The hospital I delivered at didn't have an option of a nursery. Katie was in the NICU but Natty slept in my room. It was horrible for me. I hadn't slept much in the days before my c/s because of the hip/pelvic pain and I got maybe 3 hours of sleep the entire time I was in the hospital, which was 4 days and 3 nights. Both Natty and Katie had blood sugar issues, so when Natty would wake up to eat, they would have to take her blood sugars. There really isn't much worse than being sleep-deprived and listening to your 2 day old daughter screaming in pain. The hospital bed was pretty uncomfortable and I couldn't find any comfortable position to sleep in. Then there was the nursing staff and the doctors coming in every 15-30 minutes to check on Natty and to check on me. I ended up having a pretty bad emotional break by the third night (complete with uncontrollable crying and declaring that I was obviously a horrible mother because Katie was in the NICU) and cried myself to sleep. I got maybe two hours and didn't feel much better after that.
Natty came home with us (Katie was still in the NICU) on day 4 and DH said, "I'm taking care of her, you get some sleep." I ended up sleeping for almost 14 hours straight.
So, if given the option, I would totally recommend having at least one night where your LOs are in the nursery.
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Totally, completely agree.
We had DD1 room in with us for 1 night. She was sent to the nursery the next night, because the noises she made at night were awful. They brought her in when I needed to feed her.
The twins went to the nursery every night. The nurse would bring them in to eat (always both at the same time), and I'd call her when I was done. As ougrad said, they'll be with you every night for the forseeable future. I'd take the nursery while it's available.
Bring ear plugs, too.
The boys were delivered at 38w2d and were well enough to room in with me, so they did. I even got one of the 2 big pp rooms because I had 2 babies staying with me! DH stayed with me overnight and brought the babies to me to nurse. It was much easier after the c/s for him to bring them to me than to get up every time. Two of the three nights we were there, we sent them to the nursery for one 4 hour stretch and let the nurses give them formula so that I could sleep a little. I didn't want to do it at first but DH convinced me that I needed some rest (although it wasn't much). I finally gave in and they did fine. The nurses enjoyed having a set of twins in the nursery for a little while.
I didn't realize how much I needed that little bit of sleep until I got it! I felt so much better. And taking that little bit of formula in the night didn't affect the boys' abilities to latch and nurse well.
I say that if you need a break, send them down. If you're doing well and want to keep them, then keep them in the room. There really isn't a right or wrong here. Just whatever is best for you.
We kept the babies with us the first night. My c-section was at 5pm, and after that, we were so wired and excited that we weren't goign to sleep anyway so we just kept them with us. We did send them to the nursery the next two nights though, which was awesome. We got decent sleep and the babies were well cared for. The nursery was right across the hall from my room, so in the morning, we just got up and picked up the babies. Also, DH stayed with me at the hospital. I said he could go home, but he didn't want to. I was glad he stayed.
My girls needed no NICU time or special care. They did go to the nursery at night but were brought to me every 2 1/2-3 hours to BF. All day they were with me in my room with DH and I (and various other family members).
I had a c and DH stayed the 1st night with me but went home to sleep the other 2 nights. I wouldn't have been comfortable having them in the room with me all night alone having to get in and out of bed continuously and while being on the Percocet and a little dizzy. DH would leave around 10-11 PM and come back around 8:00 AM.
If the reason you want them to stay with you is because you are going to BF, don't worry, they will bring those babies to you
Over night was actually the only quiet time I had at the hospital without anyone else there and it was silent. I hardly slept at all but did enjoy the quiet to time absorb everything going on and mentally prepare for going home.
The babies were with us the entire time.. sleep is important and when they napped we napped. But there was no way I was going to let someone take my 12 hour old babies out of my sight. Maybe cause I'm a first time mom..
SO stayed the entire time because I was pretty much in bed the whole time. I tore really bad and was pretty swollen so walking was pretty much impossible. Even if I was able to get up and do things- he wouldnt care about getting a good night's sleep- he just had two babies!
My girls were only in the NICU the last night of my hosptial stay and they stayed for two more nights after that.
We did have the girls sleep in the nursery at night. Our nurses were AMAZING, they would bring them in every three hours for me to nurse (helped me get them on a schedule right there and then!) and I was completely confident that they would take care of them. They all were telling me that they cuddled with them, etc. I felt very comfortable and so did DH. It helped us both to sleep, and I really think it was one of the reasons my c-section recovery was so easy.
There is NO WAY DH would have slept at home!!! He slept on the pull out chair that they had. We brought pillows from home and blankets and made do. It wasn't fabulous sleep, but he slept. They were waking us up a couple times a night to nurse anyway so...
Do whatever you feel comfortable with. You'll know once you've had them. Don't decide anything in advance, just be open to whatever and take it as it comes....thats pretty much what we do every day as MoMs!!!!
First night, MH went home. I had to share a room so there was no place for him to sleep. I barely slept b/c of my awesome roommate. Allie and Em stayed in the Special Care Nursery for the first 2 nights.
Nights 2 through 4, MH slept in the room with me (he had a real bed too.) Roommate was gone.
Nights 3 and 4 - babies slept in the nursery. I was beyond exhausted and needed some sleep. My room was right next to the nurses' station and I really did not get much sleep.
Mine were both in the NICU, but I think I would have sent them to the nursery. Maybe. It's hard to say.
DH slept at home, but there wasn't much for either of us to do those first two nights. The boys were getting IV fluids and avoiding over-stimulation was key. I got up to pump though. Had the babies been in the room or in the nursery, he would have totally stayed.
My recommendation is to go in being flexible. You may change your mind once you get there.
I just read through PP responses........
I saw someone mention that if the babies were in the nursery, they had to go to the nursery to see them.
Not my experience at all. I would nurse the girls at 9, then they would come get them around 10:30. Then they would bring them back at 12, at 3, and at 6. I had to nurse and supplement with formula and one of the nurses would bottle feed one baby so DH could sleep! She was awesome. If I ever wanted the babies to come back in my room, I just had to pick up the phone and call the nursery. I never went to it until the last day when I went to the NICU and got a "tour" because I had to leave them.
This. I figured out that one day I had someone in my room 20 times between vital checks, checks of how much I peed, food, cleaning, doctors, residents and nurses. It was insane.
My DH stayed with me because we live about 45 min from the hospital but we sent the babies to the nursery every night and I have zero regrets about it. My only regret is taking the 4th night in the hospital that I was allowed by virtue of having a c-section. My 37 weekers were pretty sleepy at first and they bothered us far less at night than the people at the hospital - I think I would have gotten more sleep at home than at the hospital. Everyone says "oh, take all the days they give you" but I wish I wouldn't have listened to that.
Rooming in with your babies is totally doable and I would advise it if you are trying to breastfeed.
In our case, we roomed in with Lucy only on the first night because James was in the level II NICU for about 24 hours. After that, we roomed in with both the next 2 nights (I had a c-section at 35w6d).
DH stayed with me in the hospital at night. I needed him there in order to be able to room in with them because it was a little bit hard to get around and to lean over to pick up babies after the c-section. Plus, I needed him to help me get them to latch. My mom was in town for the delivery, so I would send DH home in the morning from about 7-noon to nap and shower. This worked out well for us so at least ONE of us was rested.
Apparently I am in the minority here, but not only did we room-in (no other choice anyway), but I actually really liked it. We ended up having to wake them up every 4 hours to eat because all they wanted to do was sleep. The flippin' nurses woke me up more than the babies did, so even if we could send them to a nursery I still wouldn't have gotten any more sleep than I did. DH stayed with me because I couldn't physically care for them on my own (oh who am I kidding, I couldn't eveb physically care for myself on my own). He didn't get the best sleep on the pullout couch, but I'd send him home for a few hours in the afternoons to get a good nap in while my mom came up to help me at the hospital.
It worked out well for us, because we learned how to handle things on our own, and had a really good routine established that made the transition home super easy and nowhere near as overwhelming as I thought it would be.
Plus after the hell that I went through to carry them for 37 weeks, you couldn't have paid me to send my babies away to a nursery all night. I was a typical, paranoid, first time mom I guess.
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with both my singleton and twins, they went to the nursery and DH went home late and came back first thing in the morning. I needed him to be rested when I came home. I had no problem EBF. The nurses brought my babies to me when they needed to eat, and helped me get them latched on, and I paged them when I was done and ready for them to take them back. Didn't even change a diaper until I got home. There's only a few days where you'll be able to get that kind of help and I wanted to take advantage of it.
DH stayed with me all nights. Twins were allowed to room in all nights but since my c/s was at 7pm and I was given a strong does of benadryl for the itching, I was really loopy and didn't trust keeping the babies in the room with me. Then one night I sent them to the nursery from 3-6am to try to get sleep because they were up NONSTOP. There were no bfing issues with what I did either. One twin is still up nonstop...should have known.
Oh yea...esp with a c/s. DH did all of the diaper changing and would hand them to me to bf the first couple of days. I felt like we barely managed with the two of us. I cannot imagine being alone with them after a c/s.
I had a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. My DH stayed every night with me in the hospital because it was so hard for me to get out of bed at first. The first night we kept them in the room, but I think sometime around the 2nd day or 2nd night I let the nurses take the girls for a couple hours so I could sleep. What's funny is that the nurses were supposed to take them to the nursery; however there weren't any other babies in there at the time so they ended up at the nurses station with all the nurses googling over them (my DH went into the hall for something and saw them all cooing over the girls). I was trying to BF, but while I waiting for my milk to come in I let them give the girls a little bit of formula (I was so worried they were starving).
My DH would go home during the day for about 2-3 hours to check on our dog, take a shower, and I'm sure take a quick nap
. This left me alone with the girls, but the nurses were really good about coming in to help, or watch them while I attempted a shower.
My suggestion--absolutely let the nurses take your LOs to the nursery for a couple hours so you can get at least an hour or two of sleep. They can bring them back and wake you up to BF. You'll be glad you got at least a little bit of sleep.