NEW SAHM

picksa

ok, starting next week, I will be a new SAHM with my preemie...any advise??

ok, second question...I have worked for the past 15+ years (i'm 29) and I am having to stay at home, due to my preemie dr's advise, that she can't go to daycare...does it make me a bad person to feel horrible about not going back to work?

i had a total melt down last night, being that i can't return to work...guess it's a little overwhelming that I have a preemie in NICU, she's coming home soon, I'm pumping every three hours, because she won't take to my breast and I can't return to work, my "normal" routine...

 any advise??

susanmosley

My advice is one day at a time - live in the moment - embrace your new role.

Things will change so much over the next 3, 6, 12 months & you can't predict your thoughts, feelings, baby, etc in the future. 

don't stress (yeah right!) about the unknown & the future that you can't predict - the next few months will be survival mode.  Don't have any other expectations than taking care of yourself & that sweet baby.  GL! & 

picksa

thanks!

susanmosley

& obviously this doesn't mean you can't work ever - if you want to work again, you can. This is temporary& will be be distant memories before you know it.

welcome to this board - it is full of super women

JOEBunny

I think it is normal to resent to a point the freedom children take away.  My DH had a hard time with that.  Having an infant with special needs is a huge stress, and I am sure it would logically seem easier for you to go back to work.  My DD's health played a large roll in my decision not to go return to work.  The difference is that I was able to take a year leave, so I could more slowly come to the realization of what was best for my family.  You have had it thrust upon you in a very tough way. 

Try to see the good in your situation.  That you have this gift of a chance to do this because a lot of people just don't.  You only get one shot at life.  I try to make the most of it. 

Congrats on your LO.  They really are joy in a blanket.  Each day is better than the one before as you get to know your child.

beyoga

Hi!  I'm a NICU mama too.  My ds is still in the nicu.  I will be a SAHM as well.  There are moments I feel bad for staying home but not for long.  Reid has had quite a fight and I know me being there helps him to advance more.  He was born at 24 weeks gestation.  

I don't know that I really have any advice right now.  But your not alone. 

picksa

wow, 24 weeks, that's amazing that your LO is doing well!!  Locally (NC) our NICU doesn't hold 24 weekers, they are air lifted to another hospital.  Hopefully your NICU is close to you.  maybe your LO will be home soon.

I feel bad that I am not as excited as I should be about being a SAHM, but maybe each day will my LO at home will help.

 Good Luck!

fortworthmom

You have alot of emotion and hormones running through you right now.  It is hard and will continue to be hard but you can do it.  Take it one day at a time.  Embrace each day because they will never be that small again and each day they will learn something new.  My best advice is go look at your baby every night before bed.  Nothing is more peaceful and calming than a sleeping baby.  You can always go back to work this is just temporary.  Remember on hard days that it does get better and someday you will miss those days.  My LO is 11 mths old now and all week I have been crying over the days I used to hate and think were so hard.  Somedays I miss working but being there to hear her say mama for the first time was worth everything we have been through.

Good luck and I hope your baby is doing well.  Also good luck on the pumping.  I EP for 6 months (with 5 months in the freezer)and it is so much work but it is so worth it in the end!