(lurker) Traveling for Work
::Waves hi:: I mostly lurk and post mainly on my local board and 12-24, but thought maybe I could get some advice over here.
I have to travel for work this week (3 days) and DH will be taking care of DS full time while I am gone. Now, I trust him to take care of DS, however this is the first time he will be taking care of him by himself for longer than a day. He's never done it alone for this long before.
Back story: from day 1 I did 99% of all drop of/pick ups, feeding, bath, bed, dr appt, play groups, etc with DS. So, we had our 'come to jesus' talk a few months ago and things have gotten better....still not 100% (but our marriage is better, so I am happy). However, DH still disagrees with me on a lot of things, like bedtime (I think 8, he thinks 'whenever he is tired')'; what to eat for dinner (I think protein & veggie, he thinks 'whatever is fastest'), etc.
I suggested that I could prepare some things for him to have quick & easy for dinner for DS while I was gone and also that my parents would be willing to help out with daycare pick up/drop off if necessary, but DH got super offended. I told him I was just trying to help him out so he wouldn't feel overwhelmed...that i've been there and while you may not need it, it is nice to know that there is someone there to help you. (Note that DH often has to work late and is swaping days for pick ups with me all the time. Even this past Friday he forgot to pick up DS from daycare.)
Did I do something wrong or am I being an oversensitive b!tch and I need to back off? Please be honest, I can take it. I really was just trying to make things easier for him while I was gone.
TIA (esp if you made it this far) 
Re: (lurker) Traveling for Work
When I first travelled for work, EVERYONE kept telling my DH to call them if he needed help and he had the same reaction as your DH. It's basically telling him he can't take care of his kid by himself, KWIM? Especially because no one says that to me if he's not going to be around.
That said, I do think it's nice to prepare dinner if you're doing it to help out and not because you don't think he'll make good choices. If I have time, I will make dinner for the both of them so DH can just heat things up instead of having to come up with something. He doesn't really cook, so he appreciates it.
I don't think you did anything wrong if you were just trying to help out, so long as there wasn't a suggestion that he can't hack it alone. Maybe he was feeling guilty about forgetting to pick your son up?
I was in the same position as you as far as me doing everything, having the come to Jesus meeting, etc.. I think you are totally in the right to be nervous, offer assistance, etc.. What I would do is prepare a few meals and step back and let him step in. When I did / do this, I notice that DH becomes much more involved in LO's life. Just to be safe I would have your mom or dad call to check to make sure LO was picked up on time. Other than that, go on your trip and try your best to relax. So what if he doesn't get some veggies at a meal and stays up a little longer with Dad. Your DH will have to deal with the repercussions in the a.m. anyway, not you! What you will get in return is a stronger relationship between the two and that is all that matters. When I travel for work DH has a restaurant he talkes LO to for dinner that I have never been to. They stay up late building lego houses and watching cartoons and it's ok. Let them have their time and have faith in your DH.
That being said, make sure you get a room with a tub, take lots of hot baths, watch lots of T.V. and make time to work out. Even get a mani / pedi someplace local if you have time. Nothing like a few nights alone to re-charge and come home ready to step back into "mommy mode".
I agree with the other posters. Step back and let him handle things his own way while you are gone. Your LO will be fine - worst would be that LO eats crappy and sleeps crappy for three days - neither of which will hurt in the long run! In fact, letting him fly solo will likely make him realize how difficult it really is, and he'll end up being more supportive in the long run.
Enjoy your trip.