I had DS in October. I had planned for a natural birth in the hospital setting. I hired a doula, I took classes, I watched videos, I read, and read, and read. All my preparing still ended in a c-section.
I was in labor for over 65+ hours with DS. I was able to hang naturally for 50 of them. Unfortunately I had a cervical lip and stayed at a 9.5 dilated for 8 HOURS!!!!! I never got the opportunity to even push. I had to have a c-section. I later learned a midwife would have held the cervical lip open, but my MD wouldn't. I understand why he wouldn't, and turns out it may have ended in section anyhow. DS was all wrapped up in the cord. Hense, the 65 hour labor.
I dealt with a lot of grief after. For the loss of my birth "vision." The way I thought it would be. The way I wanted it to be. I've come to terms with it now. I feel I wasn't pressured, and that it is what it is. I'll never 100% know if it was medically necessary. But I was ready at the end to be done as well.
Anyway, I'm no where near being pregnant again. haha. But I still think about it often. Whether or not I will be brave enough to try for the VBAC next time or just get it over with and elect for the c-section. Based on my values and beliefs I think I'll try to do a natural VBAC but I'm terrified. I know I need to get over this at some point.
Anyone out there with similar experiences that can offer a word?
Re: natural birth ended in c-section?
I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I found it very helpful to go to ICAN meetings. I dealt with it on my own for a long time and thought I was over my negative feelings, but when I got pg again and started looking into vbac, I found I was very emotional about it still. That's when I started going to ICAN and for me it was cathartic.
I was planning a natural birth, took a lamaze class, etc. But I ended up being induced for borderline PIH at 38weeks. After a 3 day induction, I had an epidural about 6 hours into it and after 16 hours of labor had the c/s (hey it was late and the OB wanted to go home, good reason, right? haha.) I have regrets about what I did/didn't do. I've had 2 other OBs tell me that they did not think my induction was necessary, let alone the c/s.
If your baby was tangled in the cord, then it sounds like it really was medically necessary, which I would hope would be some small comfort. After 65 hours of labor, I don't see how you can doubt that you tried your hardest!!
I had no fear of attempting vbac. I was not confident that I would have a successful vbac, but I wasn't afraid of it either. For me, it was just important that I learn from my previous mistakes and to have a "better" birth experience even if that was another c/s... so I was more educated about birth, I got a more supportive OB, I made sure I would deliver in a hospital with more baby-friendly policies - even if I had a c/s I would have my baby with me immediately in the OR and not be separated (my 1st hospital had a mandatory 4hr observation period). It was a little boost for me every time I passed a milestone - getting past the 38wk mark with no blood pressure issues, going past my due date, going into labor on my own, getting more dilated than I had the first time, etc. Oh, and I felt that the epidural might have stalled my labor the 1st time, so I was going to try natural again... well my labor stalled again even without the epidural and after a few hours of no progress I got the epidural again. Do I didn't do so well on the natural front, but that's a minor regret for me.
Oh boy, YES! I read, prepared, networked with people, did HypnoBabies, heck, I even live in a country where midwives and natural birth are totally normal! And I knew my birth would be beautiful, natural, and wonderful. After three days of no sleep and the worst pain of my life, the doctor said, "I think you need a cesarean, is that ok?" and I answered, "I don't care. I just want it over."
I knew I needed it, and it went fine for being a c/s, no complications, I wasn't separated from my baby, I was home after just two days? but it was hard to have my dream taken away. I never imagined it would happen to me.
It wasn't until most of the way through my pregnancy that I was really committed to VBAC. I was more scared of laboring again than of having an RCS, and even though I knew logically it was unlikely to happen again, emotionally? that was hard. The tipping point for me was knowing I'd be coming home to a toddler who would want me to be able to pick her up and play with her. It was hard, but I got my VBAC, and I got a recovery so easy, I could hardly believe it was really happening to me! I'm really glad I went for it.
BTW, there are no ICAN meetings near me but I did go to their forums online for a bit. It was definitely helpful, but most of the women are (justifiably) angry at their care providers and looking to educate themselves, whereas I felt I was already educated and received the proper care, so sometimes I kinda felt out of place. I'm still glad I went, though, and it helped me get comfortable with the idea of VBAC.