Separate baby showers?

Cjohn1211

My MIL and husband keep recommending separate baby showers - one for their family, one for mine. Is anyone else doing this?It sounds awkward....where would my friends go? They keep saying it is to keep costs down but I don't really buy it. It makes me feel like they don't want to be with my family.

Isn't this supposed to be a time for both families to celebrate together?

EastCoastBride

No, that's really not the point.  The point is to shower you w/ gifts and welcome you to motherhood.

MANY people have seperate showers. IT's not a big deal.  Esp those w/ large families.  Many people hate HUGE showers.

OctGirl80

It depends on your families. Both DH's & my families get along great with each and neither is huge so my mom & MIL went in together to host and I'm having 1 shower with everyone.

 

2 or more is very common for a number of reasons. If the families don't get along for whatever reason, big families, out of town, financial, etc. Some people have friend or work showers. Your friends can go to one or the other, it's up to you. Ok, really it's determined by the # your host can accommodate, but you get what I mean.

 

If MIL is offering to host a shower for her side, I'd say go for it. It will give you 2 parties to look forward too (assuming someone from your side steps up as well).

Temp38995750004016

I'd do separate for both families, then another for friends (assuming someone offers to host).

Kdonn15

I had both two bridal showers and two baby showers.....not a big deal.  For us, dh's parents as well as my own are divorced and it would have been really awkward for everyone to have everyone all in one place and not something I'd have been interested in (I'd prefer to not have had a shower to avoid the drama).  Luckily our moms families get along well and our dads families get along well so we had two separate showers and friends went to the moms shower since they were closer to that side of our families.

JenWhite123

Personally, I like the smaller, more intimate showers, both as an attendee, and as an honoree.  Two years ago I attended a shower that had 60 people - both sides of the family & friends -  I left after THREE hours and they still weren't done opening presents...

stephanie_shoe

You are soooo lucky!  I only wish this was the case with mine, as I get tense when my in-laws are with my family, but no one from Dh's side has offered to throw me a shower (not that I was expecting them to).  So, I'm just having one big one with friends, in-laws, family, etc.

I would have your friends come to the shower by whomever is ok with hosting additional people.

lgoodenow

I'm having 2, 1 before the baby is born, for close friends and family, and the 2nd after she is born, for all the ladies at our church...

kristennd

The two families are definitely not required to gather together for a baby shower and it's almost never better to do it that way anyway, for the reasons people have already given.

It would certainly be a nice gesture from one of the hosts to include your friends, and usually at least one side and often even both will offer, but they're not required to do that either. Good luck there. 

sgroff26

I'm throwing my lil sis a shower in May and she specifically asked not to have her SO's family at ours.  Her SO and our mother hate eachother, so no tiptoeing around it.  They just have to be seperated, so in our case, this works best.

beautiflaw

i am all about keeping them separate. my family can't stand his family. i'd rather not have a bloodbath at my baby shower. tell your friends to come to the one that is most convenient for them.

alisonemma

My friend is hosting one for me that will include my friends and my family.  My husband's family will do something huge after the baby is born (that's their tradition).  I don't think it's strange. 

northtamarack

What happend with your wedding shower?? 

I thought that it would be great to have everyone together for my wedding shower - boy was I wrong!  My DH and I come from very different backgrounds.  It was an unhappy event on many accounts.  I will not be repeating that situation again.

For this baby shower, my sister has offered to throw me a shower, which will be just my family and close friends.  If my MIL wants to throw a shower for her side, that is her decision.