Help with my 11 year old nephew
I am kind of jumping in on this board. I've been meaning to ask for awhile. DH and I moved home from out of state and while he is in school and I am job searching we are living at his parents' house. His older sister is a single mom (shared custody) and is also back in school. She is in night classes and so I often take care of him after school. I pick him up from school or his other activities and then he comes home where he is with me and DH until 10pm when his mom comes home.
There have never been any rules for him really and he really is a good mannered kid, especially with everything he has gone through. However, it seems he can just play on the computer or video games as long as he so desires. I have found him up at 2-3am before on weekends or holidays or all summer long. Dinner he sort of eats what he wants, no one is watching his portions or if he is even eating vegetables. (We live at grandma & grandpa's house mind you).
So since I've started watching him on those nights I've been trying to get more of a routine established, but was wondering how a typical night goes with your preteen. I told him that he can have 2 hours of video game or computer time a night, but now they just put a computer in his room and just what I thought.....he's been up there all night with the door closed. I don't think he should have his door closed at all right now. With homework, he either doesn't have much or has it done already. It doesn't take too long. What else do your kids do all night? I told him to get a book to read. Part of the problem I presume is that he should be going to bed earlier than 10-11pm. That would take some time away, but he has to stay up until his mom gets home.
Just trying to figure out some good suggestions of how typical preteen life goes at home. TIA
Re: Help with my 11 year old nephew
My son is 11 as well. Our nights usually go like this: homework, outside play except when it rains, he may watch about 1-2 hours of tv (if it's on, I only let him watch nature or history) or he can play an hour of Playstation. We don't allow any electronics in his room, he is bed by 9:30 and he has veggies almost every night. He doesn't always read every night but a good amount before bed to calm down.
Your in a tough spot because it's not your house and he's not your son but if you were asked to look out after him, they I think you do have a say to the mom to let her know your concerns since your the one that sees what he does. Were you asked to look after him? If you were, you should really sit with the mom and have a talk with her about what you think might be a good idea for nighttime routine to make everyone's life easier.
My son is 8, so we aren't quite to where you are yet, but he does karate twice a week and bowling on Saturdays...is yours in any extra-curricular activities?
At night, he does homework, reads for 20 minutes (yours could read longer since he's older), we all watch a family friendly show (Wheel of Fortune, Funniest Videos, etc.), eat dinner, shower, floss/brush. Then if there is extra time we play a board game together or play video games together. Sometimes we do Nerf wars with Nerf guns. Some of this might be too juvenile for your son, but I hope it helps a little.
My son loves to do that stuff! We watch American Idol and jeopardy together and he loves playing risk. I love when they are kids for just a little longer