New to this...work question

ligeia18

Hi all,

My first pregnancy ended with an m/c last night. Today is my birthday. Needless to say, it's not a good one.

I know I'll have more to say later, but my question is, how long did it take you to get back to work? I'm a high school teacher and couldn't bear to go back today (still in a lot of pain, plus the crying). I'm thinking about the rest of the week and wonder when I'll feel ready.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your community, though the circumstance is not what we would have wanted.

Jen&Louie

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Although I wish you didn't have to join us, I hope you find the support here helpful.

I think the decision to go back to work is very individual.  My loss was a missed m/c and after finding out I went back to work the next day and continued to work each day until my D&C last Thursday.  For me it was more helpful to be busy and distracted than to be home waiting and wondering when something would happen.

Froggy76

I'm so sorry.  I didn't have a natural m/c, so I wasn't in any physical pain.  I had a D&E on a Friday and went back to work on Monday.  In retrospect, I wish I had taken a couple extra days to grieve.  It's totally understandable if you don't feel ready to go back to work at all this week.

ligeia18

Thank you for your replies and kind words. It's also good to hear from another high school teacher. What are you planning on telling your students? I don't want to tell them the truth, but I've only ever been absent for meetings before, and I know they had been planning to celebrate my birthday today.

rebaann

I am so sorry for your loss.  I found out about my missed miscarriage while we were closed for the holidays.  I had my D&C on January 3 and went back to work the following day.  I have a very stingy sick leave policy at work and at the time I didn't want to take another day, but I sort of wish that I did now.  I spent the rest of that week hiding out in my office with the door shut.

sdlaura

I'm sorry for your loss.  I had my D&E last Tuesday and Wednesday, then recovered from Thursday through Sunday.  The main reason for that was physical because of the surgery, but it was also good to have the time from an emotional standpoint.  Honestly, I think being back at work this week, and busy, has been a good distraction.  But like others have said, I think it's a very individual decision. 

missy418

I had a D & E at 20 weeks. I am taking off three weeks. I work as a mental health therapist. I am unsure how many people knew of your pregnancy, I was quite large with twins. For me I believe this time will help me grieve and get my life back into the swing of things. Sometimes you need a little "me" time, plus my time off is under FMLA. Do what you think will be best for you, so you can go back to work an be effective. 

JThomas221

I'm very sorry for your loss. I had a missed m/c and a D&C, so my experience was different from yours in that way. We discovered my m/c last Monday and I took that day off because all I could do was lay in bed and cry. I went back to work the next day. I had my D&C that Wednesday and was told to take Wednesday and Thursday off to recover from the surgery. I went back on Friday and wish I hadn't because halfway through my shift my body was ready to shut down. I was achy and tired, and my lower back was killing me. I really wish that I had been able to take the entire week off, but my job is not very sympathetic and I didn't really feel like I could.

It's a personal decision, but like a PP said, you have to take care of yourself first. Give yourself as much time as you need and ease back into your routine when you're ready. Everyone grieves differently, so don't worry about following some kind of schedule. What works for some may not help others.