Buying yourself items from the registry - is it a big no-no?

jjfan

H and I got scolded this weekend because we bought the stroller we wanted. It was on clearance at Target for $50 less than BRU so we thought buying it was a no brainer. Plus, it's a travel system and I really wanted to have the car seat handy just in case.

 The hostesses of our shower (mom, MIL, aunts and sister) were offended because they had planned to buy it, even said well, we don't even need to throw you a shower if you're going to buy everything yourself! Really? We bought one item on the registry. How were we supposed to know that's what they were going to get. Besides, half the people who are going to be at the shower are hosting the shower and they are all pitching in on one item...that means there is going to be PLENTY left for us to purchase on our own and still plenty left for them to pick another gift to go in on.

Our shower isn't until the 19th of Feb, I will be 37 weeks then. It's going to be more difficult for me to get around at that point than it is already and I dont' think shopping is going to be any fun. I am extremely greatful that they are hosting a shower for us, but I also want to be as prepared as we can in case this kid decides he runs the show and wants to show up early.

Is it unreasonable for us to buy things before the shower? After all, in the end, it is our responsibility. We were ready to buy the swing too, because it was half off on clearance Saturday, but after our scolding, we decided to wait.

odear

Why did they even have to know?  You could have bought it yourself, taken it off the registry (or changed it to received=1) and that is all they would have seen.  I don't think it is a big deal at all and they are being ridiculous.  Buy the swing.  They will deal.

snowybride08

I don't think it's unreasonable at all.  I fully plan on buying things from our registry, because we're not having our showers for a while.  I think their reaction was a little strange; I'm sure you have other things they can buy that would be equally useful.  I completely understand why you bought your stroller, especially with it being a travel system.  I don't think I'd want to wait until 37 weeks to get my carseat, either.

bre87

you got a good deal on the item, i don't really see why you should have passed it up because someone might have gotten it for you as a gift.  can't they get you something else as a group? plus you have a great point about having your shower at 37 weeks and not wanting to run out and get all the leftover items then.  your hostesses will get over it...i hope and they should just understand that you want to be prepared.

circa1978

That's silly. We half set up our registry as a way for us to keep straight what we needed and what we have, and mostly for the completion discount. We're registered at BRU, but I bought our tub at Target when I saw it there half off and then just marked off my registry so people knew we had it. There is no reason you can't buy things for your own baby, especially if you see a good deal!

jjfan

odear:

Why did they even have to know?  You could have bought it yourself, taken it off the registry (or changed it to received=1) and that is all they would have seen.  I don't think it is a big deal at all and they are being ridiculous.  Buy the swing.  They will deal.

Well, we took it off the registry as soon as we got home from Target Friday night. Saturday we were telling my grandmother what a great deal we got and apparently she knew that's what the hostesses had planned to buy so she called them and that's when it all started. I guess they had printed the registry offiline Friday and got together Saturday to go get the stroller, so it wasn't off the registry on their list.

jjfan

circa1978:

That's silly. We half set up our registry as a way for us to keep straight what we needed and what we have, and mostly for the completion discount. We're registered at BRU, but I bought our tub at Target when I saw it there half off and then just marked off my registry so people knew we had it. There is no reason you can't buy things for your own baby, especially if you see a good deal!

 

This was a big thing for us too, never thought it would be a problem to buy our own necessities!

green bean

I agree with pp its silly they got mad at you about it. What would they have done if they saw it had just been purchesed? Tracked down the person that bought it to yell at them? Buy the swing and just mark it as fulfilled on your regisrty. If they ask say somone had it shipped to your house.

NavyGMWife

I've done this with things on my registry that go on sale or clearance as well.  I just update the status to bought when I get home. 

I would of bought the travel system as well if I were you.  I would also buy the swing if I were you too or tell them hey this is on sale for xyz and if you don't plan on getting it we are.

It's your registry!

melissar617

I think that it's fine. Like PPs said, part of putting things on your registry is to help keep track of what you need to get and also to get the completetion discount. We are team green, but picked out two different (gender specific) bedroom sets, because we figured that way we could get the discount to buy it after the baby was born. That changed last weekend when we went to BRU and realized that our girl set was on clearance because it's been discontinued. We went ahead and bought it off our registry just in case, and will return it later if needed.

bella85

I think it's crazy that they reacted that way. My M&FIL are buying us a Graco bundle set that has the carseat, stroller, pnp, swing, & high chair. My shower was on Saturday and we got an IOU for these things. We already knew we were getting them and that it would be after our shower so we did not register for any of these things. My mom didn't know about this and told me that a bunch of the ladies she works with wanted to buy us a stroller. I told her that the in-laws were getting if for us so she said no big deal. Instead she is going to tell them to get us the breathable bumper and the shopping cart cover that we registered for and didn't get. I know it's a different situation, but their idea was somewhat "ruined" and it was ok. Like you said, there are other things they can get. 

MrsChelseaP09

My mom tells me to stop buying but I can't help it. There are things on my registry that I am afraid people won't buy, and if I see them on sale... I buy them. Such as yesterday, I bought all of the Gerber white onesies that were on my registry. BRU has them on sale for Buy 1 Get 1 50% off..... at $9.99ea, I couldn't pass it up. It just didn't seem like something that I personally would want to buy for someone because its a "boring" gift.

tmm140

If we didn't buy stuff off our registry, we wouldn't have gotten anything we really wanted.  We had our shower on Saturday and got a TON of nice stuff, but it wasn't anything that was an absolute necessity. 

When we bought stuff I would just take it off the registry.  We also got a lot of gifts that we didn't even register for.  My mom warned me about this and told us that people like to just buy stuff and don't bother looking at the registry sometimes.

sweetpea2718

Since your shower is so much later, I wouldn't feel bad at all! I've been stalking my registry somewhat because my shower is at 36 weeks.  If it got to be close to the shower and items such as our car seat (which we will definitely need asap!) weren't purchased, I was just going to go ahead and get it.  You can't wait too long.  Like you said, you're not the one running the show, that little baby of yours is! 

Magical95

MIL has been on us for this too.We already have crib, dresser, stroller, carseat, swing, mattress, and several other things we bought ourselves. If I found it on craigslist or a really good sale, I bought it! I would rather do that than wait till after teh shower and pay full price. Plus I am a planner and hate waiting till last minute to do things. I could technically bring home a baby right now and be good to go. (havent had my shower yet either)

paulrules

I didn't know this wasn't something you weren't suppose to do.  I wouldn't think a thing about it.

hispenguin

We have bought ourselves a few items off the registry simply b/c we had the cash. I just marked the item as purchased on the registry. Only my mom knows that we bought it for ourselves.

MandusMaximus

nothing is unreasonable it's your baby I am going to wait until I get that "complete your registry 10% orr" coupon but if I found a deal like that I'd totally do it!