**Muffinhb** (dd ticker inside)

seanandcallie

Hi. Just wanted to see how you were doing today? I'm trying to stay busy doing housework that I didn't do all week. I start my first full week of work on Monday and can't wait for that even though I will be away from Ella Grace more than I have in her entire first year.

Muffinhb

hey! today i seem to be better then yesterday ( i was in a fog and just laid around) DH and have gotten slowly back into remolding our house which is nice to have something to do again. House work is something i havn't been able to do yet it brings me to tears every time i start to do it so that is still on hold until my mom comes out and helps me this week (i don't work). Im sorry you will be away from Ella Grace that would be very hard for me! I hope that who ever is watching her will let you call through out the day! If there is anything i can for you let me know! How are you doing?

seanandcallie

I'm doing a lot better than I would have thought. With our past losses I was a total wreck for at least a week after and then so slow to heal emotionally. I know that Ella Grace is the difference this time around. Both having her to see and hold and love and also knowing that my body CAN make a baby are different than before.

Sean doesn't want to talk about the genetic testing stuff, where as I want to go get it done this week. I feel like if that IS the reason for our not being able to hold our babies, then I want to know now. But, I also understand that he needs time to mend as well. He promised he would come to me when he was ready to talk. 

Take your time with getting back to the "norm" or things that are hard to deal with. I'm glad your mom is coming to help you. Let her take care of the things you simply can not deal with right now and if they are things you have to deal with at some point, you will when you are ready.

Sean will be watching Ella right now (he's on the hunt for a job) and has promised to send me photos through out the day and make sure he has the video camera on hand for those just can't miss moments. I'm lucky to be working with my best friend for her dad's company and they have no problem with him bringing her up to see me either so hopefully we can have lunch together a few times a week. I'm so thankful that she knows what is going on with me and I'm not having to talk to a relative stranger about why I'm randomly crying.

Are you on FB? I'm always looking for new friends... I'll pm you the link to mine and if you want to "friend" me then great, if not... that's ok too  

Muffinhb

That is awesome you are working with your Bester makes it so much easier! GLad your DH  will be sending you photos and videos through out the day! That is such a blessing. My DH works for the government so im am lucky enough that i dont have to work right now but im thinking i need a job to help keep me busy so im not sitting around all day when im done with my house work.

We are also doing genitic testing even though we both know how the babies died its more of to put us at ease and know that their was nothing else wrong with "sam & alex" (that is their names) so we are just waiting on the tests to get back.

Yes im on facebook. i will add you as a friend! send me your link