How do you handle the When question (warning DD pics)

sunflowergrl

What do you say when someone asks when you're going to have kids?  I've been asked numerous times when we're going to have #2. And every single time, I want to snap, and say well, I was pg in Dec, but that just didn't work out now did it. 

But I know that's not ok.  So I  usually just say something like "oh, soon hopefully", or "well, we're trying"  But it just makes me wanna run away and cry every time.

Anyone else get this?  What do you say?

Muffinhb

i just smile and say we are working on it. since only a hand full know about our loss

angelabrown810

I tell people the truth (which is that I'm not sure I can have kids so we're considering adoption) and if it makes them feel extremely awkward I hope it draws attention to how inappropriate that questions is.

Fallon621

No one has really asked me because they know what I am going through but I would just tell them that we are trying like you did.

Niftyroses

LOL Angela, I agree.  I have never asked anyone that question either.  So inappropriate.  They may as well ask about your sex life.

Jen&Louie

((((hugs))))  It's awful that people are so clueless.  Your family planning is your own business and I agree with the pp that it amounts to asking about your sex life.  I am very careful to never ask anyone that question because you just never know what someone is going through or if they are/have been struggling with fertility.

I don't know how do handle it yet either.  My MIL actually had the nerve to ask me earlier this week even knowing I hadn't miscarried yet.

abbs20

That is not the when question I hate hearing.  I hate hearing "when are you due?"  I am 24 weeks pregnant and looking huge (due to very large cysts all over our baby).  I want to cry everytime I hear this question because we know that our Grant will not make it to his due date of May 3rd. I wish people would just ignore my growing belly and mind their own business.

Jxlpsu

I was asked 3 times yesterday "when will you guys for #2?" I was having a horrible day and just decided to unload on all 3 people who asked. I told them all that I had miscarried and had a d&e a week ago. I could tell they all felt terrible but I really find that question inappopriate to ask any one, whether they are trying for #1 or #5....they caught me on a bad day. Who knows what I would have done if I were having a good day but I tend to just speak without thinking so it may not have been much different a reaction.