WWYD? RE: # of embies to put back (long but clicky poll)

Mrs. Mo

The RE's office I go to is affiliated with one of the largest hospitals in MA. They do everything but the actual ER & ETs at the office where my doc is but I go to the hospital for those 2. Also, since it's a large practice, the REs alternate who has to be at the hospital for the ER & ETs, so it's most likely your own RE will be doing it.

 

Ok, so here's the thing. I have had about 4 conversations ( the last on Monday) with either my RE herself or the nurse as to the # that are to be put back. Both of them were extremely insistant ( almost to the point of being beligerant) that they go by strict guidlines and that since I'm under 35 & this is IVF #1, they will only allow us to out back 1. Ok, so after being extremely bummed out, we accepted that we will have to put all of our eggs into one basket, so to speak, and hope that that 1 sticks.

Fast forward to yesterday at the ER: The nurse at the hospital gives is shooting the sh!t with us as they are backed up. So, I aske HER about it. She shows me the same sheet that my doc showed me where it says " Recommended 1 but no more than 2". When I had asked my doc/nurse about that "no more than 2" part, they gave me the lecture about. So, I was fully expecting the same lecture. Well, she said that it all depends on how they fertilize & grow but that it is ultimately up to us if we want 2 vs 1. Then she said that we will have sort of a round-table discussion about it with the embryologist & whomever the RE is on hand for the ET about how many to put back. My worst fear is that my actual RE will be the one dong the ET and she will refuse to put 2 back based on the fact that we "already had those discussion" where she TOLD us only 1.

 

[Poll]

missjul61

I would go w/ 2. You're investing in this too much to not go w/ what you want.  It's not like you're asking to transfer 5 so I'm not sure why she's so against it!  If you're worried about going over her head,  you  should talk to her and let her know that you and your husband have discussed and decided that 2 is what you both want to go with. End of story. If it were me, I'd even tell her that I want 2 because I'm ok with twins (which is true).

 Good luck to you! 

MrsVo

I also chose two.  It should be your decision - you are the one spending all this $$.  I think it's kinda crappy of your RE to try and force you to do only 1.  

Mrs. Mo

missjul61:

I would go w/ 2. You're investing in this too much to not go w/ what you want.  It's not like you're asking to transfer 5 so I'm not sure why she's so against it!  If you're worried about going over her head,  you  should talk to her and let her know that you and your husband have discussed and decided that 2 is what you both want to go with. End of story. If it were me, I'd even tell her that I want 2 because I'm ok with twins (which is true).

 Good luck to you! 

 My current thought pattern is to just not say anything to her unless she ( or the nurse) brings it up. If/when they do, I could always play dumb and say "Well, they told me I could", since the "they" will be the people that work at the actual hospital who's "standards" she is going by.

adaisybug

missjul61:

I would go w/ 2. You're investing in this too much to not go w/ what you want.  It's not like you're asking to transfer 5 so I'm not sure why she's so against it!  If you're worried about going over her head,  you  should talk to her and let her know that you and your husband have discussed and decided that 2 is what you both want to go with. End of story. If it were me, I'd even tell her that I want 2 because I'm ok with twins (which is true).

 Good luck to you! 

10000% THIS! We have our consult tomorrow, so I am interested in what they say...

Ms H13

I would also go with 2 - it's your body, your $$$, and your decision.  If your RE is really that difficult to talk to, I might also be thinking about switching doctors...  Good luck!

STL34

I would see what the embryologist and RE doing the ER said.  At the time of transfer they should have a better idea of the quality of the embies.  I would go in thinking I wanted to transfer 2, but open enough to really listen to those doing the transfer.  REs don't want to risk BFNs.  But they also consider twins + as failures.  That is why they are so cautious about transfering more than one.  I have been told by many REs that they do not see a statistically better chance of success by transferring more than one embryo (at least in normal situations).  The real difference is by transferring 2 you are 30% more likely to get PG with twins.

I would also ask if the other embies are at a level to be frozen.  If they will be frozen if you don't transfer them, it isn't quite the same as not transferring one that will be discarded.

Good luck, Mrs. Mo!  I know this is a very difficult decision!

inlovewithB

I voted 2.

My RE explained it this way to me. Put in 1 embie you have 40% chance of pregnancy. Put in 2 embies you have 60% chance of pregnancy, and a little over 40% chance of twins. He said if you are ok with Twins he recommends 2. If you are not okay with Twins he recommends 1.

3 embies doesn't increase your chance of pregnancy, but opens you up to the risk of three. He said he has never put in 3 embies. 

heathercara

DH and I have had numerous converations about just this.  Our RE is very adamanent that we only end up with a single baby from our IVF, but we are only doing one procedure.  So we think we want to do to embryos and are praying that we will not have a clash with him when the time comes.  You have to go with what you are comfortable with and can live with in the end.  Best of luck.

MTooms

I would have them put in 2. It is your body and your $$.

 

However, the only friend I have IRL that did IVF, put in only 1 (because she didn't want twins) and she got a BFP and a beautiful baby girl from it!

Jill070707

My doctor strongly recommended a single embryo transfer due to my age.  We insisted on 2.  I had to sign something that I was going against her set transfer plan, but ultimately was "allowed" to transfer 2.  Good luck!

MrsLoos

If you want to transfer 2 they should follow your wishes. I think it's ridiculous that your RE is being so adamant about transferring only 1. You have too much at stake and have put too much time energy and money into this, it should be YOUR decision.

 Good luck sweetie! Are you doing a 3 or 5dt?

tst1998

Our RE goes over all this before you get to ER. It's a pretty lengthy discussion regarding the risks/benefits of one vs. two. You have to decide whether you want to do one no matter what, two no matter what or follow the recommendations of the RE once they have the fertilization report (if they don't look fabulous, they will usually put back two). You can change your mind at any time, but it's good to have it decided before you move forward. Ultimately they leave it up to the patient to decide, and certainly don't make you feel like you are making the wrong choice if you put back two. One is safest for you and the baby, but I would still do two. I know there are increased risks with twins, but I also know that I would feel pretty horrible if I did just one and it didn't work. Although would I feel horrible if we put back two, and something went wrong? Probably. I'd still go with two (although this is all theoretical since we're still just doing IUI)

I understand some insurance companies will only allow SET, so if insurance is covering this for you, that might be an issues, but I would have assumed your doc would have told you that. Good luck!

flycka

I second STL and think that until you hear from the embryologist and the RE at the ET you should assume a SET. And I don't think it's a bad idea to do two if they recommend it.

punkymama

missjul61:

I would go w/ 2. You're investing in this too much to not go w/ what you want.  It's not like you're asking to transfer 5 so I'm not sure why she's so against it!  If you're worried about going over her head,  you  should talk to her and let her know that you and your husband have discussed and decided that 2 is what you both want to go with. End of story. If it were me, I'd even tell her that I want 2 because I'm ok with twins (which is true).

 Good luck to you! 

Exactly, this is your body and you have every right to go with 2!  You are vested in this more than your Dr.  You & YH are in agreement so that's what matters.  Wishing you nothing but the best!

Mrs. Mo

MrsLoos:

If you want to transfer 2 they should follow your wishes. I think it's ridiculous that your RE is being so adamant about transferring only 1. You have too much at stake and have put too much time energy and money into this, it should be YOUR decision.

 Good luck sweetie! Are you doing a 3 or 5dt?

 Not sure yet. I'm still waiting on the fert report which I should know any minute now ! I have mixed feeling on each. 3dt would be better for my schedule but a 5dt would mean that I most likely have a bunch of great embies and they can't choose which is/are the best.

c&n06

I voted for 2. It is your body, your money and you should not have to worry about what the RE thinks or will give you an issue. Since you are going through all of this I would want the best chances.

JNKS2328

I voted to do 2. I think you should do whatever your comfortable with as long as its not "dangerous-- aka octomom)

What clinic are you going to if you dont mind me asking? I'm in MA also. I just switched clinics because I was not satisfied with my care at the last clinic.