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Stay at Home Moms
I snappped... Inlaws are GONE
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Re: I snappped... Inlaws are GONE
Let's just say that DH wasn't happy with their behavior. However he wasn't thrilled what I did either.
However like i said- such is life. I am NOT too happy with DH right now and I haven't been the last two weeks. I have sat down with him several times about the situation and finally it was just a culmination of a LOT of headache and biting my tongue.
This is NOTHING new for my inlaws. DH knows this- we have this argument ALL THE TIME.
So i really think he (DH) knew better than to fight me on this and press my buttons either further.
I hear ya poppy- it is just one of those things that DH and I will just have to not see eye to eye on. And I am A-OK with that. I told him straight up that they are just NOT welcome back in this house.
I told him- it is one thing if they constantly disrespect me- however I will NOT tolerate that kind of behavior involving someone else. I have bit my tongue PLENTY on this 'visit' --
It was well overdue- and no. they definitely weren't just going to leave.
First, let me say kudos to you! I think this is, by far, my most favorite IL story of all time!!
I'm so sorry your friend had to hear that (and daughter, too, of course) and you most certainly did the right thing!! I think you're my new hero!
Anyway, all of that out of the way, doesn't your H stand up for you and tell them to treat you better? He should not be OK with anyone disrespecting you, much less his dad/dad's GF. You deserve to be treated so much better than that.
In fact, if I my H didn't stand up for me and not tolerate that crap, his stuff would be on the front lawn in the snow, too!
I agree that your DH should have been setting them straight long ago. Had he taken care of their attitude problems before, you never would have had to do what you did. And would he have preferred you called the police and had them escorted from your property? I mean, you gave them the option of leaving on their own and they didn't. Sure, it was more of a dramatic exit than usual, but he has to understand how much pent up rage you must have had toward them because of their behavior (that he condoned by thinking it was just fine for them to stay there). But it was wise of him not to fight you on it. Has he spoken to your FIL since? I'd be interested to hear how he described the event:-)
See that is the thing- I am so used to the insanity of crappola that comes out of his family's mouths it is sad. DH and I just both know how to ignore their dumb comments and smile and nod. If I let every single thing they say bother me- i would have been committed 11 yrs ago. There is NO 'setting them straight' --- because you can talk until you are blue in the face- gets you no where. I have just accepted that. That is just why I don't let the things they say about me get to me. -- The events that unfolded is very common- however it has never been about someone else- usually they just spout off to us. (which in itself is of course unacceptable). DH has thrown them out before during a 'visit' -
No he hasn't spoken to him since.
That is sad when you have to basically become numb to stupidity. If your DH has kicked them out before, I am irritated for both of you that the message is never received on the other end. As if they shrug it off as if it's nothing. I really hope they see they crossed a line this time but I am not holding my breath.
I know I don't know you or the full story- but if you've had to throw them out several times, I would consider cutting them out of my life if I were you. If you really can't reason with them and they say terrible things so frequently, I would cut my losses.
I wouldn't want my children to hear such things- and I am sure they have and will again in the future.
I know it's very easy for an internet stranger to suggest something so hard to follow through on... but imagine your life without them in it, without having to stress about visits and disrespect and their comments. Haven't they had enough chances? Some people are just toxic, and you shouldn't have to deal with toxic just because they're 'family'.
First of all, you are a much nicer person than I am. After the shiit that they've pulled over the last 2 weeks, there is NO WAY they would still be guests in my home. I don't care if it's my husband's father (and his GF) or the Queen of England. Under no circumstance would I put up with the constant inconsiderate, rude, selfish and unappreciative nonsense they've pulled. They would have been told (not asked) to leave a long time ago. And if they didn't get the hint, after one of their little excursions, they would return to all of their stuff on the front lawn and the doors locked.
Secondly, they sound toxic. It's bad enough that they have no respect for you, DH or your home...but to pull that crap in front of your kids?! Hell no. And you've put up with this for years? I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not in this situation, but there is no way in this world I'd allow those asshats in my children's lives if there are not some serious changes made - immediately. Children learn by example and there is absolutely no way I'd want my kids picking up any tidbits from those two ignorant knuckleheads.
I'm sorry that your friend (and Gisele) had to hear that. I think your husband needs to have a 'come to Jesus' meeting with his father and lay it all on the line. Shape up, or never see your grandkids again. At least that's what I would do.
My .02- it seems like your BF is more family then your actual blood relatives. In a situation like this, I have to agree w/cutting them out or at the very least keeping them at arms length. I can appreciate you want G & C to have a realtionship with their grandparents, but at what costs?
It's obvious they don't respect you or what your believe, and by them repeatingly disrespecting you in your own home what does that say to G&C? Is a grandparent relationship really worth it?
As for YH's response, it's his f--king family! He should be apologizing incessently for putting you in that situation to begin with. You dealt with them enough on your own. No where in the wedding vows does it say "To love, honor, cherish and host IL"s while DH works long hours for undetermined visits while they *** moan and groan".
Hang in there Stacy!