Super embarrassing question inside.... (and some TMI)

smiling76

OK--this is super embarrasing.....  but DH and I have not had sex since the BFP.  I was super sick for about 14-15 wks ---and then after that were a few other issues--then we had two deaths on his side of the family right before the holidays---which has taken a toll on him and us.....  THEN around 18 wks I started getting Braxton Hicks like crazy---- almost too much, but I'm not heading to the hospital (yet) because when I had these with DS I never dialated, despite the amount.

BUT I'm still nervous about STARTING to have sex at this point---  mainly because of the Braxton Hicks, but I can't also can't ignore the horrible RLP and sciatic pain.  And just feeling HUGE...... tons of pelvic pressure....I feel like the baby is going to shoot out of my vag at any time..... (sorry for that visual).

So.....would you just 'begin' having sex at this point without talking to the doc? 

And just curious.......anyone in the same boat of not having sex at all??? 

::hanging head in shame::  and yes, I feel horrible for DH!

 

 

 

tlxh7

We've done the deed maybe 3 times since BFP.  The last time we tried (note: tried) it was really uncomfortable (sciatic nerve and awkward belly), and didn't go well at all (thus the "tried").  I have no advice - I would love to "get back in the game", but I just feel so awkward!

urbanflowerpot

Oh gosh, I don't think you should be embarrassed! You've been through a LOT! We haven't been as active as usual - I was really sick through my first trimester, and now I the ovarian cyst situation is acting up which is extremely painful.

 Is your DH understanding of all this?

anj0409

Not in the same boat, but I do understand where you're coming from. We don't have sex often either and mostly bc I'm uncomfortable all the time and it feels very swollen and different down there anyhow. As far as the BH are concerned, if you're having more than 6-8 contractions in an hour you need to call your Dr! Have you tried drinking more water and lying down with you have them? Personally, I would consult the Dr just because of that, not because it's been a long time. I'm sure it would be fine, but never hesitate to call is what I always say.

biblionerd

We've only had sex 3 times since the bfp. The first time was 1st tri and wasn't too bad, but then I started feeling sick. The second time was about week 19 or 20 and was pretty good, but I had a lot of cramping after. We finally did it again last week and it was HORRIBLE. The actual sex was great, don't get me wrong... but the entire night and probably 3 days after I just HURT so bad. I don't think I had contractions (don't really know what they feel like) but I don't know how to explain it other than my whole pelvic area hurt the entire way around me the next day. The next couple days it just felt like I was just really achy in my uterus and kept getting some stabbing pains.

NJMom050911

We had sex on Christmas Day for the first time since BFP. It was super uncomfortable for me and he said it hurt as if I had "stubble" inside of my vagina. With that said we don't plan to do it again any time soon.

smiling76

anj0409:

Not in the same boat, but I do understand where you're coming from. We don't have sex often either and mostly bc I'm uncomfortable all the time and it feels very swollen and different down there anyhow. As far as the BH are concerned, if you're having more than 6-8 contractions in an hour you need to call your Dr! Have you tried drinking more water and lying down with you have them? Personally, I would consult the Dr just because of that, not because it's been a long time. I'm sure it would be fine, but never hesitate to call is what I always say.

I did talk to my doc about it at the last visit----he mentioned the 6 per hour--and sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.  Mine are "long" so it's hard to really count.  BUT usually if I sit or lay down, drink more, relax, etc they do subside for a bit.  BUT they come back often.  I've been monitoring them closer now and absolutely will call if they are beyond the norm for me--but from talking to my doc, this just seems to be the norm for me.  Although he did say that around this time I'll need to "take it easy" more----so less housework, etc.  I can totally feel it more the more active I am.

 

heylee

We haven't had sex since the middle of 2nd tri. I have major issues now with even getting aroused. I don't want DH to suffer so I help him in other ways.

ManiacMcGee

smiling76:

anj0409:

Not in the same boat, but I do understand where you're coming from. We don't have sex often either and mostly bc I'm uncomfortable all the time and it feels very swollen and different down there anyhow. As far as the BH are concerned, if you're having more than 6-8 contractions in an hour you need to call your Dr! Have you tried drinking more water and lying down with you have them? Personally, I would consult the Dr just because of that, not because it's been a long time. I'm sure it would be fine, but never hesitate to call is what I always say.

I did talk to my doc about it at the last visit----he mentioned the 6 per hour--and sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.  Mine are "long" so it's hard to really count.  BUT usually if I sit or lay down, drink more, relax, etc they do subside for a bit.  BUT they come back often.  I've been monitoring them closer now and absolutely will call if they are beyond the norm for me--but from talking to my doc, this just seems to be the norm for me.  Although he did say that around this time I'll need to "take it easy" more----so less housework, etc.  I can totally feel it more the more active I am.

 

I'm having terrible BH's too. Mine are also long (one lasted for 9 minutes, I swear), which does make counting them difficult.  Mine actually get worse the LESS active I am, so being snowbound has made them come with a fury.

I hope you feel better and that you get laid soon

ITGurl0626

CTGirl30:

You've had a lot going on - don't be so hard on yourselves...besides, there's other ways to keep him satisfied if you don't feel up for the full deed, KWIM?

Talk to your doctor about it and fool around if the actual sex part is uncomfrotable for you.

In my case, I barely had sex in first tri.  Mainly because I was nervous about it due to 10 days of spotting.  Plus with the constipation & bloat, it was quite painful.  Now in 2nd tri sex is much better, we are restricted in the types of positions we do because of my expanding belly - but DH is willing to work around it.

 

amberjean

oh my gosh...this is me exactly!! My hubby and I are down to (maybe) once every 2 weeks...which is WAY less than our normal. My arousal problems are so bad that I can't even get myself to 'help him out'. BH are often too and last sooo long! (I had one that lasted the entire anatomy scan.)  Luckily my DH is very sympathetic and doesnt bug me much about it, and understands when I ask if we can just cuddle.  Good Luck and remember it doesn't last forever

MaiteRam

I think you should "try to get back in the game," if you're feeling up to it.  Buy some good lube, like AstroGlide, and use tons of it.  Go slowly and experiment with different positions, etc. to see what doesn't feel as awkward.  If you're still not feeling it, no big deal, but I think it's definitely worth a try.

an.watts

My DH and I have not had sex but we have done everything else.  The thought of moving around that much made me a little sick (literally) so we stuck to having fun doing the other wonderful things you can do in a bed lol

ckolak:-)

We've had sex 3 times. Two of them were pretty uncomfortable for me, and not at all enjoyable. The third was awesome (although I had about 15 minutes of cramps and RLP afterward, so it was rather painful after). I have zero sex drive and honestly knowing how uncomfortable is is is a huge turnoff at the moment. You're not alone! Maybe just try taking it slow? If you have any desire at all, go with it.

And if not, if your gag reflex isn't too bad, there are always BJs.

bookedworm

I do not really think that you have anything to worry about with starting to have sex after all this time of not having it.  Of course if you are not comfortable with it then by all means ask your Dr. I am sure they will be able to give you some insight.

I was kind of in your boat for a while.  My husband is in the Army and he left for some training before we even knew we were expecting.  Anyways we were not reunited until I was 26 weeks pregnant. We have had sex and nothing bad has happened.  Of course you should expect some rather intense BH the first couple times but if you lay down and drink water right after they will soon fade away.

PinkBackPack

Not to brag, but DH and I do it about once a week.

I guess if you are not feeling it, don't feel like you have to.  If you are feeling it, you could try it and see how you feel.  Not to be gross, but I'm sure it wouldn't take long.

abergale

With my last pg we had sex maybe 3 times. I felt horrible for DH but in the first tri I had bleeding and they said not sex until the 2nd tri. In the 2nd tri I was so nervous and when we did have sex it felt horrible. Dh was very patient and we found other ways to make it not so bad. 

This time around sex hasn't been an issue. Every pg is different. I would talk to your Dr so you have piece of mind.