Losing on the border of first and second trimester

Ginkeez

I lost my baby on October 12th, 2010 when I was one day shy of being 16 weeks along.  My baby was only measuring around 12 weeks.  My husband and I went back and forth about getting additional testing and decided not to.  Now that I am pregnant again, I have a lot of fear that I will lose this one at the same time and for the same reason, whatever that might be.

My doctor acted like it was pretty common, but I could tell that they did not see it all that often.  My husband had to take my baby, placenta, and umbilical cord out of the toilet and put it in a plastic bag to take to the doctor.  He acted like others have done that, but when I went back for a follow up, the nurse said "You're the one that brought "it" in a bag, right?"  When we brought the bag in, they did not have a container big enough to hold everything...another sign they weren't prepared for a loss at that time.  

I like to think my baby was supposed to pass sooner, but was strong, and I had a strong body that kept him or her alive longer than expected.  But part of me wonders if I should have gotten more answers.  All I think about is that my baby died alone, not realizing how much his or her father and I loved him.  Or what if my body failed him in some way and he wasn't supposed to die?

I guess I'm just looking for someone that lost their babies around the time I lost mine that might have gotten some answers.  And I guess I just needed to talk about my experience a little bit.  It haunts me, as I am sure all of you are well aware.  What causes miscarriages at 12 weeks?  Is the reason really the same reason you might lose a baby at 8 weeks?  I suppose it could go either way.  I'm just so terrified.

 

 

clarks415

I am so sorry for your loss:( I wasn't as far a long as you, my baby stopped growing around 8-9 wks and I was almost 13 weeks when I miscarried. You will find many supportive women on this board who have lost their babies late. And I believe their could be many reasons. In my opinion even if you knew why, I think you'd still worry. You will be in my prayers for a healthy addition to your family

KyleTrigger

I had my second m/c at almost 17 wks and we were told it was VERY not common. I know doctors don't want to scare you and most are of the opinion that it is good you got pregnant in the first place as it usually means you will be able to again. We never got any answers why I m/c so late and they did a battery of tests. I guess it is just natures way of doing thing.s

you are so brave for going through all that at home alone with no medical help. I had pain meds and help from nurses and it was still a horrific experience I never wanted to go through again.

I had 2 m/c and I am about to deliver my first child. I never thought I would make it to the end of this pregnancy and to be honest it took almost all the joy out of it for me b/c I was so scared. But I remain thanful everyday for what I do have and try to remember the horror I felt letting go of my last 2 precious babies.