Intro and advice needed!

TheBride312

HI! I've been "lurking" for awhile now, but I now could use some help. (You've actually been more help than you know in just me reading!)

My name is Emily and I'm 18w4d... due June 10! We've been married nearly 6 years and this is our first child. Besides the two cocker spaniels we have at home.

Here's where I could use some advice. It's been my dream to be able to stay home once we have children. Hubby is completely on board with the idea as long as we can make it work in our budget. I work at a place where nothing you do is good enough. I'm not perfect, don't get me wrong, but I can't go to an appointment and report back without being told that I didn't ask the right question or get enough information. I've been yelled at, cussed at, b****ed about, b****ed to... in short, I am miserable! I cry nearly every day and have been since before I was pregnant so I know it's not just hormones. I had a scare with a lot of bleeding over the holiday and when I told my boss (since I needed to be gone for dr. appointments) I was told bleeding is more normal in pregnancy than I may think. This just is the tip of the iceburg.

With me being so miserable I know I should be appreciate that I have a job, but I really can't stand it any more and my stress levels are sky high! Has anyone been here? What did you do? I'd like to put in my notice and then find temp work for the next six months and then once the baby comes re-evaluate the working situation.

What an introduction... help please!

walter7878

Welcome! I think lots of us lurked first.

I can say wholeheartedly that I understand. "Hating" my job isn't really strong enough...I despise it. Like you, I also want to quit. In fact, I'd like to do a "Half Baked" over the intercom right now ("F you....f you...f you...you're cool, f you...I'm out!). Almost more than my salary, though, I need health insurance, which is why I put up with this hellhole. I guess my only piece of advice is to make sure you can change your health insurance to your husband's or find a job with great benefits if you quit your current one. I worry about that more than ever now that I'm pregnant.

Good luck!

BRUGGS10

I am in a similar situation but it's not as bad right now because i'm only part time now so i can do my internship the rest of the time. Because of this i have an end point to look forward to in spring when i graduate and hopefully find a new job. My only advise to be that you have to make this decision based on your own feelings and experience. everyone's stress tolerance is different and only you can gauge what is TOO MUCH for you.  Also consider your health along with this since it's not just stress on you but the baby too. If you are a person that can let it roll off your back knowing that you do not intend on working after baby comes maybe you can stick it out. If you aren't someone who can do that(which there is no shame in) then it is going to take an emotional and physical toll on you and your baby. hope this helps

klv

Welcome!  We have the same EDD!

As far as the job goes, after appointments just tell people the baby is fine and if they push you just tell them that you would rather not discuss your private medical affairs with them.  Any way you can schedule appointments for a Friday afternoon so you would not have to go back to work until Monday?

Who is cursing at you?  Co-workers or a boss?  Can you discuss the problem with HR?

There is no harm in putting some feelers out for part time positions if you can not stick it out at your current job.  Just make sure you can get on your husbands insurance in the event you loose yours.  

thirdtimemama

I can relate to this all.  It has been a couple of years now but I had a job that I really hated and, worst of all, felt that I couldn't do an ethical job (as a social worker).  I had a daughter, less than 1 at the time that I gave notice and left b/c it just wasn't worth it.  While I was looking for another job, I got pregnant with my second child.  At a certain point it becomes a bit more difficult to interview for most jobs while pregnant. Though illegal, what company would choose a pregnant woman who is going to leave w/i a few months?  It makes it that much harder to find a job. 

On a bright note, with a second child on the way, we decided it made financial sense for me to stay home, which was what I wanted all along.

 Good luck.  Parenthood is all about taking one for the team, and if you are the one with the medical benefits, you really have to consider that heavily.  In the meantime, drown out the haters and spend more time on the bump while at work 

norbert5

I am sorry you are miserable at your job.  That makes things really hard.

If you want to be a SAHM money and insurance are most likely the two biggest concerns you should probably cover before leaving your job. 

Do you get ins. through your job or DH's? If it yours, can you transfer to DH's now or do you have to wait for open enrollment?  Also make sure they don't consider pregnancy a pre-existing condition.

Also try living off of just DH's salary for 1 month.  Can you do it?  If not how far in the hole are you?  If it is a couple hundred you can probably cut that out of your budget.  If you are over by more then 500 it will probably be a little harder but still doable if you are willing to make bigger sacrifices.

The stress in your job is obviously not good for you but neither is the stress of worrying how to pay the bills because you don't have an income to cover your monthly expenses.

Magenta728

walter7878:

I can say wholeheartedly that I understand. "Hating" my job isn't really strong enough...I despise it. Like you, I also want to quit. In fact, I'd like to do a "Half Baked" over the intercom right now ("F you....f you...f you...you're cool, f you...I'm out!).

Hahahaha, last year, I was at a job that I despised beyond belief, and I used to say the same exact thing! I fantasized about saying that to ppl.

OP, from someone who left their hellhole job, if this is something you can do financially, then go for it. The stress that you experience daily is not good for the baby. I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am to no longer experience that. Good luck! 

mofalt

Welcome, and I'm so sorry about your troubles!  It seems like all the others have covered it (insurance and pay being the "biggies"), but I just wanted to offer a little sympathy... being pregnant can be tough enough!  Adding idiots at work to the equation makes it much worse.  I wonder how your boss would feel if he/she was told bleeding was normal!  Sheesh!

GL