today is day 1

Muffinhb

to is day 1 of knowing they are no longer here and i'm so angry. all i want to do is have a pitty party and be the honored guest. but as my MIL says "you need to get up and put on make up you can't do this all day i'm coming over to help you" HA little does she know i closed and locked the gate and moved my car around back so she thinks i left and wont bug me. She is a pain and i strongly dislike her today! I just wish she would know that space is the best thing right now. 

HadleyS

please don't take offense, I know you are hurting and I've already been praying for you.  it's just that a teensy little chuckle came out when I read that you took your car around so your MIL wouldn't see it.  The reason I did is because I had recently been behaving in the exact same manner.  When we want to feel sad, we will feel sad.  I did try the whole make up/doll up thing, I even got my haircut on a whim yesterday to keep my mind of things, but when I got home, the tears came down.  It's perfectly fine to behave how you are.  My family, though supportive, thinks that I should be over it by now, that it's not a big deal.  Well, it is a HUGE deal and you can be sad when you want to.  (((hugs hugs hugs))) and I will continue to pray for you and your family.

ChristinaCT

Very sorry for your loss.  I had a pitty party yesterday all by myself.  I ate crappy McDonalds food, watched crappy movies & cried off & on all day.  It's ok to feel the way you do.  You lost your LO's & you are allowed to be sad & angry.  Infact you SHOULD feel those things.  No matter what age they were at the time of the loss we all had connections to these children they were OUR children. Some people may not understand that. I try not to get angry at those people but even that is hard. 

Today is day 2 for me.  It's easier than day 1, but i keep having to leave my desk to cry in the bathroom. 

You take the time YOU need to heal your heart & grieve for your loss.  Don't let anyone tell you when you should feel better.

Jen&Louie

I'm sorry. As you said, it is only day 1 and she should have the good sense to let you grieve how you need to and not assert her own feel good remedies. I hope your plan works...sounds like a good one!

Whitbell

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am having a hard day today as well and would love a pity party!

I did kind of laugh at you locking your gate and hiding your car.  I have bbeen known to hide in closets or dressing rooms from mine!

Muffinhb

Thank you ladies. you are the best company i could have today since DH wasnt able to stay home with me today 

 

 

HadleyS & Whitbell- Glad you both got a laugh! I laughed after i thought about what i did and when she got to the gate and it was locked. I guess it worked on her.

Oatoa

ChristinaCT:

You take the time YOU need to heal your heart & grieve for your loss.  Don't let anyone tell you when you should feel better.

This exactly.  You are in my T&Ps.

AJG2009

Oatoa:

ChristinaCT:

You take the time YOU need to heal your heart & grieve for your loss.  Don't let anyone tell you when you should feel better.

This exactly.  You are in my T&Ps.

My thoughts exactly.  Avoid contact as long as you need to.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you. 

LDW80

It is ok to have a pity party for yourself.  I had one today too and I lost my baby 2 weeks ago.  You are going to have more days of anger and hurt in the beginning.  Then as time goes on you will have less days of anger and tears.  I still cry a lot.  NOt everyday like I did the first week but I still cry often.  That is sad that your MIL is not more understanding and letting you have time to grieve. I know she probably just wants to help you but the worst thing you can do now is forget about all of this and pretend like it never happened.  I find that the more I talk about our baby the better I feel and now it seems the only people who really listen are the ones who have gone though this (and my husband who is grieving too).  THis is a wonderful place to be.  We are all here to listen.  Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

ambs21

Looks like yet another thing we have in common!  My MIL has been so hard to take through this.  Sadly it has really changed our relationship.  I just have been so hurt and angered by her that it's not the same.  I love that you hid!  So funny!  Luckily my in-laws live hours away, so I just have to screen calls!  Take care of yourself and do what you need.  After a few days, try going out for short amounts of time.  It will be hard, but it will get easier.  I'm here if you need anything.  I really mean that.