My IRL IF Friend's Story

patchen30 · January 2011

I've mentioned her on here before, but my IRL IF friend's DH had testicular cancer so he had azoo and they used a donor. She lives in Canada and did 7 IUIs there, 1 IVF and 1 FET. Then she went to Cornell, where she did 3 IVFs and had no embryos to freeze, all w/ BFNs. Apparnetly she has a fert issue (less than 50%) due to egg quality and they recommended DE, so now she's doing DE w/ DS and looking into adoption. This was the email she sent me from her last BFN. It's so sad it makes me want to cry

Hi - I've been thinking about you a lot. I'm sorry I did not write, I had a really difficult time dealing with all this once reality started to sink in...

The New Year was particularly difficult as I looked back on 2010 and I felt like I had achieved absolutely nothing - I felt like all I did was quit a job that I loved and that was very rewarding for nothing. I also had a few anxiety attacks during the night, I had the feeling like part of me had died now that I know that I will never have a biological child. I guess it's like a grieving process.

Anyways, I decided to start horseback riding again...It was my passion growing up and I thought it would be good for me to do something fun to get my ming off things. It's really helping, I feel a lot better and really want to take a few months and not think about all this. I've reached my limit and have had enough with all this for now.

I'm so sorry to hear about those results [my m/c results], it does sound very similar to what happened with me [she had three nuclei instead of two in her fertilized embryos, I had 3 sets of chromosomes in my m/c embryo] - how strange. We are exactly the same age. It seems so unfair, this should not be happening to us! We are young and heathy. It really does not make sense! I hope with all my hear that those two remaining embryos are the ones that lead to a successful pregnancy.