re-intro- lurker coming out FOR GOOD!

gervaisj6

Hi,

Nice to meet y'all! 

 I am 31, and DH is 34. 

I have my bio at the bottom of my siggy.  DH had his biopsy last week that was a bust.  We already made a decision going in and have talked about it for a long time.  That if this didn't go well.  we would be moving on to adoption, and we feel is the best decision for us.

 

I have heard that some places give preference to couple that have no children, and that have diagnosed infertility.  How truthful is that?  

Also, DH is Asian. I have heard that some Asian countries give preference to  couples where atleast one partner is Asian.   How true is that?

also, preference, what does that mean- you get "bumped up" on the list?  or what...

 

I have bought a few books... Just kinda feeling stuck right now... But, trying to "soak" up anything I can...

I think traveling to some countries like Kaz (I may not even try to attempt to spell that now)  scare me ... where as Japan and more developed places doesn't scare me as much...  Wait times for a child scare me... 4 years? : (

Please give me as much advice as you can! 

adoptmom

Welcome to the world of adoption. My experience is with international and disruption.

 

Kazakhstan is closed until they clean up the program/ratify Hague.

 

Japan is difficult unless you are Japanese but even then it is not easy.

 

South Korea has a good program, lots of people going there now.

 

The Philippines is also an open program with shorter wait times than China.

 

China is well established but a very long ( 3 yr ) wait for a "healthy" infant.

 

Taiwan is open, I am not sure of the wait times. I believe they favor families without children.

 

You could also look at Russia, expensive but you may find a child of an Asian ethnicity there.

 

Best of luck in choosing a country and an agency, those are important first steps!

 

 

CaptainSerious

Hi, and welcome back.  I'm sorry to hear about the rough road you took to get here, but adoption is a wonderful way to build a family.

"Preference" means different things to different agencies and programs (countries), so your questions are hard to answer.  Some agencies do prefer to work with childless or infertile couples, but there are just as many who do not.  There are many to chose from; the important thing is to find an ethical agency that meshes well with your family.

Most countries that give preference to people of descent are country-specific, so that if your husband is Japanese, he might receive preference (however Japan may define that) in adopting from Japan, but most likely not from other Asian countries.  Some countries only allow people of descent to adopt.  Others match a certain number of families of descent and and a similar number of world-wide families each time they make referrals, so people of descent receive referrals faster (did I explain that well?).  Still other countries consider preference differently, or don't offer it at all.  As with an agency, the important thing is to find a country who's criteria you match and program you like, and go from there (I recommend doing this before choosing an agency).

I think a great place to start is by reading the FAQs at the top of this page and reading an introductory adoption book.  As you go on, you're sure to have a lot of more specific questions we'll be happy to answer.

Good luck on your journey!

 

silliestbunny

Welcome!  PP gave you some basic info.   What's your husband's heritage?  I know Dillon International has a "fast track" for families w/one spouse that is Korean (for Korean adoptions).

gervaisj6

Thanks so much for the responses. Dh is Filipino. However, what svares us about the Philippines is that it srems that tjey are adopting out older kuds now...we want an infant upto 2 year old, but really prefer an infant. We arent opposed to adopting here either.

gervaisj6

Please excuse my horrible typos. I am in bed typing on my phone...

adoptmom

In addition to Dillon, Holt International also has a Korea program. I think they were the original agency to start placing children after the Korean war. They also have other Asia programs. Things change so much that I am not sure if Thailand and/or Vietnam are still open. They might be a good place to start.

gervaisj6

So, where do we even start? Do we try and find an agency, or go get a lawyer? Also, if we could find a child of partial Filipino descent here, we would be open to that, as well.

CaptainSerious

Start by researching the different types of adoption, and figure out which one you want to pursue.  It's expensive and time-consuming to do multiple tracks at the same time, so most people only chose one.  An introductory book like Adoption for Dummies or the Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption is a good place to get an understanding of how the different processes work, and the pros and cons of each.

Then, if you decide on international, chose a program.  You can review all different countries' processes and requirements on the US Department of State website:  https://adoption.state.gov/.

Next chose an agency.  Be sure to research it and find an ethical one; the books above will give you lots of ways to do this.  If you do decide to adopt internationally, it's a good idea to find an agency that has more than one program you are interested in, in case the one you are committed to shuts down...most agencies will let you switch to another program.

The FAQs at the top of the board will give you lots of other information on how to start.  Good luck!

gervaisj6

gosh, it is so much information... I am glad we are snowed in, my kindle app  is getting a heck of a work out..lol

 

 

CaptainSerious

Just take it slow, and one step at a time.

1.  What kind of adoption?

2.  a)  If domestic, use agency/lawyer/facilitator?

     b) If foster, through the state or with agency (only some states allow this)?

     c) If international, what country?

3.  a)  If domestic, which agency/lawyer/facilitator?

     b) If foster through an agency, what agency?

     c) If international, what agency?

4.  Follow the steps as outlined by your agency/lawyer/facilitator.