The hardest part...

PiperS

It was a week ago today that we found out our little one's heart had stopped beating around 13weeks. I was 13 wks 3days. It was the worst day of my life! I had a D & E on Thursday that was a horrible day too!

I have spent every day running around and keeping busy. I have drank a bottle of wine almost every night! Today I start student teaching and I will be really busy which is just what I need.

I feel like I have been able to function in almost every part of my life. The hardest part for me is other pregnant people and I have so many of them in my life! I have barely been able to talk to BFF (due 2wks after I was) or SIL (due 7wks before I was). I am not resentful or anything and of course I would never want to hurt their feelings. I am just not ready to see or talk to them. I usually talk to BFF daily and I see SIL at least once a week. Since it happened I have only responded to a couple text messages. I don't know how to get passed this. I feel terrible, but I can't bring myself to suck it up and just talk to them.

ChristinaCT

I know how you feel.  My BFF from college told me on December 23rd that she was pregnant.  I got my BFP on the 31st.  We were going to be due within a month of eachother & we were so excited.  I called her to let her know what was up.  Part of me is excited for her & another part of me is jealous.  I hate to say it but I am glad she lives in another state.  I won't have to see her for a while.  I feel terrible saying that.  But I need time to get through this.  & so do you.  I would hope that they will understand that.  You will talk to them in time & I am sure that first time will be very emotional for you.  That is O.K!  You are entitled to feeling this way & it's hard to have those reminders of what has been lost.

LDW80

I know EXACTLY how you feel.  The week before you was me.  On 12/27 I went in for my 2nd appt. at 13wk3d to find out my baby had no heartbeat.  I had a D&C the next day.  I agree with that being a HORRIBLE day too.  I was pretty much forced to have this baby removed and would no longer be pregnant when I awoke.  Staying busy has been the only thing that has helped me.  Also taking walks outside.  It is freezing where I live but getting that fresh air has really helped me.  I have avoided many phone calls and texts and messages because I am not ready to talk to just anyone but I have talked to other women in my area who have gone through it who understand more.  That and talking to you ladies on the bump.  I know it will get easier for us and I have bad moments and good moments.  I think Saturday was the first full day I didn't get sad and actually had a good day but of course woke up Sunday feeling sad again so intead of going day to day I go moment to moment for now. 

I hope that your BFF and SIL understand your emotions and will be there for you.  You will get through this (not foget it but get through it).  Each week will get "easier".  GL and I hope you have more better days.

WifeyWynn0626

I'm in the same boat you are. My BFF is due in May and I haven't talked to her, outside of texts, since I found out I lost my baby. She actually asked me if she did something wrong because I wasn't being responsive to her, which made me feel worse. I also saw on her FB yesterday that the date of her shower was picked and was looking into places to have it. I was supposed to be doing this for her, but I honestly can't even think about it. I really do feel like a failure as a friend but, I did take the time to explain to her that it wasn't her, and it really was just me who needed the time to heal. I hope we can both get over this soon, because I hate feeling this way.