I'm so heartbroken

DoubleC98

Hi, My name is Sisi and I'm 30 yrs old. I lost my baby at 7 weeks yesterday. It was my first pregnancy. I am so upset. My heart is hurting. My husband and I are trying to deal with everything, but I don't know what will happen now. How am I going to want to have another baby after this?? How do you move on? I know it wasn't my fault, I was healthy, did everything I was supposed to do, taking my prenatal vitamins, I don't smoke, no alcohol, eating right, no infections. It just wasn't meant to be. I still have to go to the doctor for follow up. I have never been through this before and I am so scared. I know this happens to women more often than I know and further along than I was. It's heatbreaking no matter what. I never got to see my baby on u/s, heard the heartbeat, whether or not I was having a boy or girl.

How do I get through this???

Niftyroses

I'm so sorry for your loss.  You have come to the right place.  Your feelings are totally normal.  You need to allow yourself to grieve - do whatever you need to do. 

I recommend staying in your pajamas and taking it easy for a few days.  Your body is going through a lot and you need time to think through your feelings and really grieve!!!!  Your hormones are still going crazy right now too, so they are making this situation even worse.  It's heartbreaking for everyone I agree.

You definately need to talk to your doctor, there may be some recommendations that they give you.  

I'm a lot like you, I did EVERYTHING right, and still had a miscarriage.  Almost all of them were mutations of the fetus that had nothing to do with either parent.  If you do a little research on fetal development, it's a miracle that anyone is ever born!!!!! As far as wanting children, it's a very personal decision.  Some women want to get pregnant again right away and some want to wait for a while, it's when you and your husband feel physically and emotionally ready.  

85% of women that have had a miscarriage will give birth to healthy babies with their next pregnancy.  That's pretty good odds.

I hope that helps some.  Message me any time if you need to talk. 

PS. Lilypie has MC tickers, and you can turn off the e-mails from the bump, and in your profile, change status to TTC so that your  profile doesnt keep saying "___ days until delivery"

PiperS

It is a heartbreaking experience. You will get through it. You can decide when you are ready to try again. Some people want to right away and others want to wait a while until they are emotionally ready. There is no right or wrong answer.

Everyone is different in the way they heal. I just lost my baby a week ago at 13 1/2 weeks and it was a horrible week. I saw my baby a week before and he/she was measuring a little small but was fine with a strong hb. I went to my OB for a check up and there was no hb anymore. It was heartbreaking! Everyone told me to take it easy and just stay home and grieve, but that is not me. I did a lot of retail therapy. I bought new bedding, a new carpet, new stuff to freshen up my house, some new clothes, and got 5 inches cut off my hair. I did all that to keep myself busy instead of crying all day. I was off last week for winter break. I start student teaching today so that will keep me very busy. You need to find what is best for you. There is no typical or right way to feel or act. A lot of women go through this but that doesn't make your situation any easier.

ChristinaCT

Hi Sisi, I m/c'd yesterday too.  I was 6w 2ds along.  I never got to see the hb, but I felt so in love with this child already.  I know how you are feeling.  Today is pretty hard too.  I have to call my ob today to schedule a time for a f/u with her. 

The only thing I can really tell you is to allow yourself to cry.  You lost a child & it hurts.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I am here for you.  Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. 

HadleyS

We just lost our first pregnancy too, I think that everything you are going through and all of your thoughts are normal.  I asked myself (and keep asking) everything you mentioned.  Time is the only healer, but this is something that we will have to carry for the rest of our lives.  You and your husband really need to be there for each other, lean on each other and comfort each other.  I believe it will make the bond between you two even stronger, it did for me and my husband.  Right now I am in a state of "I never want to fight with ever again" and my husband agrees.  One of the hardest things is watching everyone around you move on, and feeling like you are being left behind.  I think my family thinks I should be "over this" already, but it's only been a week.  I am being a tough girl, but when I am alone, the waterworks make their appearance.  We are here for you, Sisi.  (((big hugs)))

LaurenB15

I'm so sorry for your loss- HUGS!

 You cannot blame yourself- my doctor told me I would have had to physically harm myself before I could have caused any damage to our baby.  Sometimes things just happen and, though its awful and unfair, there is nothing you can do.  You have come to the right place though, everyone here is so supportive and knows exactly how you feel and what you're going through.

 I was greatful that I hadn't gotten to hear our baby's heartbeat or really see him/her on the u/s... I can't imagine if I had felt him or her kick or move... but I can understand how that can be heartbreaking too.  For now it seems like your life is standing still but it does go on however hard it may be.  Lean on your friends and family for support-- and us here at thebump!  

Sending lots of T&P your way!

WifeyWynn0626

I'm so sorry for you loss, but like other ladies have said, you've come to the right place. Today is 3 weeks since I found out about my loss and it does get better. I still cry almost everyday but it doesn't seem to hurt as much. For me, I've given myself mental and physical outlets to process my emotions. I've started a blog and started working out via PS3 move (Zumba is amazing!). You need to keep your support system close and you need to give yourself time to grieve. Cry when you want, get angry, feel guilty, because it's all a part of the normal healing process, just keep in mind that logically, you are NOT to blame for this.